mixed episode

<font color="red"> Currently going through my first (I think) mixed episode....and panic attacks, too, just for grins.

Any suggestions? This is the most uncomfortable feeling I can imagine -- feeling both ends of the spectrum at once. I feel like I'm going insane. I haven't felt this bad in about seven years when I was hospitalized voluntarily for a week. </font>

Well, keep sight of the fact that it will pass soon. If you have had other swings recently, for example, it will probably be similar in duration. Then find out if you can sit through a video, or a tv program. Can you read a book? Is there a pasive activity you can zone out in? Or maybe its down to drinking herbal tea and staying in bed. Be willing to care for yourself as if you had a bad case of the flu. You are certainly as genuinely incapacitated as you would be with the flu.

If you are still "waxing" symptom wise, I mean if your swings are still unfamiliar, be sure to keep track of their frequency and duration, and type. You're always going to cycle, but you get better at finding your balance with them. Knowing they pass remains my main coping thought in the worst of it. Good luck and tc.

Delvaughn, I want you to know that you are sooo not alone right now. I'm going through and experiencing the same thing as you right now. I understand that feeling as if you're going completely insane and there's nothing you can do to stop it or control it. Very overwhelming indeed!

Sqrl has given you some very sound advice! It's so important that you begin keeping track of your moods, triggers, sleep patterns, behaviors and actions. This information may not do much to help you in the hear and now, but it will be invaluable in the future to help you see the bigger picture of your cycles...how often, for how long, what works, what doesn't work, what makes things better and what makes things worse. It will also help you to better understand yourself...give you some insight into your illness. BP can be a truly wonderful experience sometimes and a truly horrific experience at other times. The key is not to cling to either one. Don't feed the mania with actions that are self-destructive and that result in extreme consequences, and don't feed the depression with substance abuse, sleeping too much or whatever else you might do during these times. Self-discipline is key during these cycles. I know its very difficult to conceive of self-discipline during these times...but you can do it. For myself, I find it best to be alone as much as possible, to stay home as much as possible, and to maintain my daily routine as much as possible. If things get to be beyond what you can bare...go to the hospital, seek immediate professional help. I know how scary that can be, but it's better than some of the alternatives! Like sqrl said, this too shall pass. During those moments I'm hanging on by a thread, that is what I keep telling myself. I know it's small consolation in the moment, but it's consolation nonetheless. These forums can be very helpful too. Keep posting and receive the support, encouragement and understanding that we need so desperately right now.

Sorry for carrying on for so long, I happen to be in a more manic than depressive state at the moment, but that could change at any moment. I'm here for you and so is sqrl, he offers wonderful support, encouragement and insight especially when we are unable to do that for ourselves. I'm hoping this cycle passes for you soon. TgrsPurr.

i, too, want to tell you that this phase will pass..and we will be here for you....pat

Sorry, I can't stay long, but is so very important you take this up with your pdoc. or even a new one.
Remember, you do NOT have to feel like this.
Many meds., therapy, options.
So, please give the pdoc a call, and tell him or her just how you feel, and you want a consult with them.
Again, so sorry, I have to get offline.
Meanwhile, talk to those here, get in touch with your mental health provider(s) ASAP. . . let us know how it goes.

Sincerely,

DE

The mixed episodes can be extremely confusing. What am I feeling? How should I act? What will make it stop? The truth is, for me at least, that to even ask in the sense of a struggle against the illness is to fed the very cycles from which I wish to escape. I'm learning to rather study them. What works for me and what doesn't... much as sqrl recommended. To quote a wonderful TV show... "Resistance if futile." It will happen whether you want it to or not. I'm don't have the knowledge of meds that others here have as I have only been on mine for a short period of time and I am still titrating ever so slowly up to my "target dose." I highly recommend followin the advise of the others. It most certainly will give you a look into the depths of the illness and how to coexist with it in relative peace. Take care my friend and please keep us posted.

ryan

Ryan,
I'm unclear when you said "take the advice of the others, that it would give me a look into the depths of the illness".
I am Bipolar-II, my brother is Bipolar-I, I grew up with him, and I couldn't begin to tell you all he suffered, hospitalizations, police, meds. and docs.
I saw the violence, I witnessed him break dad's ribs, beat my other brother up, and destroy the inside of our home, etc.
I was a little girl, it was horrible, but I always remained the closest to him, at 6yo I literally was the shoulder he cried on during his depressions, at home and during hospital visits.
5 yrs ago when I "melted down", (severe depression/suicidal)voluntarily was hospitalized, and then put on several meds, some nasty and then finally one that worked wonders.
I had "mild mania", shopping daily for the "things I liked"
( now I look at some of the stuff and ask why did I buy all this) I also went through agitative states, not real bad, but enough to upset those around me.
I wish those that come to this forum, will come to realize that I DO understand how confusing, depressing, agitated, and sometimes you also get a good feeling, but that never lasts, either.
I wish too, that members here will see that I am not minimizing their pain, confusion, and mental anquish. Though I have not yet had severe bouts for awhile, I DO understand the awful, empty, confused, feeling of depression.
Besides Bipolar, I also have bouts, anxiety attacks, and occasional take Klonopin or Ativan, which I hardly use.
And another DX the pdoc's gave me was mild ADD, well I knew I had that for years, but that is another story.
I just had to reply to this, cause I felt (I may be wrong) that you and the others think that I think I know about everything, and they do not like me, if I just pass on stuff I have learned, rather by life itself or read, I am not by any means, a "Ms. Know it all" type of person, so please, Ryan and the others, just try to understand me, in all fairness.
The above, is just a fraction of it all, I just want you to know, I am not new to this disorder, I have relatives with it real bad, I have a nephew that has really gone through hell, etc.
I know and understand how scary, etc. it is when episodes switch, it sucks.

Thanks for listening,

Sincerely,
DE

((((((((((( Ryan ))))))))))))

DE,

I feel you are a great contributor to all of us. Thank you for your observations and I'm very sorry for that you have had to go through such great pain.

January

Roe, I wasn't posting to you. I have a nasty habit of just typing in the quick reply and not realizing who is in the "RE:" box. That comment was meant for the origonal poster. I know full well that you have a vast knowledge of this illness and I'm so sorry that this was taken the wrong way. Dear one, I never meant to offend you or imply that you don't have an understanding of what we suffer from. God I feel like crud. I should be more careful with my posts. Again I'm so sorry. ((((((((((((((((((((Roe))))))))))))))))))))

BTW, your knowledge of this disorder is quite obvious in every post you make and I'm glad that you offer up your wisdom cause it helps so many.

I'll now take this opportunity to duck.

Ry

Having just gone through my first major episode, I can truly sympathise with your confusion and disorientation. It scared my friends, it scared me.

I tried to figure out what triggered me, and then held on for the ride. It was all I could manage.

As squirrel said, try to do something to take your mind off it as much as possible. I ended up sleeping a lot when I came down and hit the depression mode.

My bipolar is usually very mild, and this was so foreign to me. If you can talk to a rt person who has been there, it usually helps . It depends on the person.

As squirrel said, it will pass. That is the great key to remember. It will pass.

My best to you,

January

Oh, Ry, don't feel like crud, you are a very dear person.
I've done that often, click to the wrong poster/reply, it happens, ha!ha!

I am glad though, that I got to stress to any new readers where I am coming from, and that my "stuff" is not just "book learned", it is real.
Hope I get to chat with you some time, till then, take care and know many of us are here for you and the others

Sincerely,

DE

(((((((((((( Ryan ))))))))))))))))))

Roe, thank you so much for understanding. And for the record, we have chatted a couple of times. That's how I know your name Silly Billy.

(((((((((((((((Roe)))))))))))))))

Ry