I want off the rollercoaster

I am sick of this damned ride. I thought it sucked when my 4-month long manic episode ended, with my long-term BF walking out on me right as I was crashing. Since then, I've been to a new pdoc and been put on Lithium, which has done wonders for me in the short 5 weeks I've been on it...until the rug got pulled out from underneath me a few days ago.

I found out that, in order to continue with my new pdoc (who is at a grant-funded facility as I am dirt poor and have been denied Medicaid 3 times) I have to start paying $50 a visit as opposed to the $5 I have been paying. (Where is this money gonna come from? I'm still on medical leave from work.) And, on the same day, I found out my case is being "shuffled" to yet ANOTHER therapist (3rd one in a month). How is therapy supposed to help if you can't build a STABLE rapport with ONE therapist? I know I can always call my original therapist whenever I need to, but I still need that structured, clinical setting.

I am so irritated with the grant-funded clinic I have been going to, I've decided that after my last $5 visit with the pdoc, I'm done - therapy, him, everything.

My family doctor had to pick up the slack of my medical leave, as the politics of said clinic don't allow the pdoc's to do anything with medical leaves. I have to see him after my 6-week check with this pdoc, and I am hoping he will take on my med management, as I have to go to his office for my 3 month blood draws as it is. I have been his patient for over 15 years, so hopefully he will say yes, because I refuse to go back to the clinic he exclusively refers his patients to, as they mismanaged my care, and are the reason for my manic episode in the first place.

I have tried every avenue I can think of, but because I actually HAVE a job, I don't qualify for county assistance either. I’m not eligible thru my work for health benefits, as I’m only considered part-time (less than 32 hours/week) I have tried, through my union rep, to get enrolled in the company healthcare, even offering to pay DOUBLE what a full-timer would pay, but to no avail.

Somebody, please stop this damn rollercoaster….I want off.

Jenn

How well we cope with this exact situation, is precisely what determines the very possibility of employment. There aren't any easy answers for it. Sadly the catch 22's you are seeing seem more typical than exception in terms of low cost health care. On the other hand, if you had no job or income, were on welfare, it would all be paid for. Perhaps it's reasonable at some point to say that it would be cheaper to go on welfare than to try to fund your required care. It usually doesn't go like that though. Meanwhile, your illness is pushing against the situation uncomfortably. The worse the illness gets, the worse the medical situation get, the worse the work situation gets, and....well, you get the idea. In all of that, and for always, you need to develop a solid ability to sort out for yourself how bad it is, and what you really need to do. If it wasn't hard, not so many of us would have lost everything in the process.

I'm trying to encourage you actually, and am suddenly worried like I made it sound gloomy. lol.

You see correctly, the system is pretty anemic. But it sounds like you need to be willing to really know for yourself how you are, and what you need. does that make sense?

Good luck dolfin, it's hard, but with humor like yours, you can make it.

WOW Jenn

That certainly has you caught between a rock and a hard place, doesn't it? I don't live in the US so I don't have the knowledge of what avenues you can approach that you haven't already, but a few things come to mind that you haven't mentioned, or if you have, I missed them.

Have you checked with your place of employment if you would be able to put in the few more hours you would need to be classified as full-time? Maybe, you're not able to do more hours due to your disorder, I don't really know what your personal situation is. I do know that part-time employees usually do get less benefits than full-time do. The other thing, you mentioned that your family doc exclusively uses this grant-funded clinic. Is there any reason why he could not use another one if you explain what is happening with you? Also, have you discussed this situation with him yet? Maybe he knows of something that can be done to help you. The $50 is that for both the pdoc and t or just the pdoc? I'm wondering if you could still see a t at the clinic and have your GP manage your meds? Seeing 3 diff t's in a 1 month period is ridiculous. I agree that you need stability. I can't imagine being shifted around so much between different t's. What is there reason for doing that? Doesn't make sense to me, other than they don't know wtf they are doing at this clinic and that the patients are the ones that are suffering. I do hope there is another clinic that you can go to that doesn't charge more than the $5, or maybe the new $50 charge is a standard for all clinics? I also hope that your GP will pick up your case of handling your meds. Not to scare you but mine won't, I've tried that already myself cuz I'm having my own nightmare regarding pdocs and meds are concerned. My GP feels it is too difficult to handle patients with BP with the ever-changing mood swings. He'll take on any other mental disorder except BP. grrrrrrrr!!! I hope that you have much better luck than I did. Maybe going to yours for 15 years will be a plus for you. Is there any kind of govt agency you can call in regards to mental health care that might be able to help you find alternate care? Maybe you have a family member who would be able to help you out financially? I know it is not all that easy or possible to even ask but just thought I'd throw that out there, although you've probably already thought of it yourself and dismissed the idea.

Other than all that, I have to agree with sqrl and maybe you need to consider whether going on welfare and having your needs paid for would be more advantageous than working part-time, although knowing when I say that, here that would not be so easy to do, if welfare feels you are capable of working.

My heart goes out to you. Seems the health care system sucks big time and falls much short of the needs of the public. I don't know what more to say to you other than my thoughts and prayers are with you, not that that is going to resolve your situation. I hope you find some sort of resolution to your situation very soon. I can only just imagine the amount of stress this is putting on you and the effect that might have on your cycling. Much luck sweetie. I'm only a PM away if you want to talk.

(((((((((((( Jenn )))))))))))

As I read your post Dolphin I couldn't help but feel the frusteration and discouragement you MUST be feeling. This situation is wrong on so many levels, I don't even know where to begin.
Well, let me start with the first suggestion that came to my mind, just a suggestion mind you. There ARE places out there that will work with you based on income or lack thereof, a sliding fee scale or even free. They might not be as qualified as the pdoc's and t's your use to dealing with, but it's cheap help. And since you know what you need, Lithium, that takes the guess work out of it for a new pdoc. I'm currently receiving a good portion of my bp health-care for free through a program I'm in. I have a full-time job and I make fairly decent money and I have full health coverage thru my job. And I STILL get free help. It is out there. I hope it doesn't sound like I'm rubbing your face in anything, I'm just trying to show that not all hope is lost, do not despair, just take the time to research availabilities in your area. Go to the Library. Check the newspaper. Call different places and ask if they know of anything like this. It may take some searching, but in the end it might really be worth it. I know your cycling right now, but I hope the Lithium is helping enough that you can focus your thoughts and energy into making an effort on your behalf ASAP. The sooner the better.

Hope this helps. We'll all be right here for you when you need to vent, or bounce some ideas off us. Whatever you need that we can provide.
Keep your chin up Dolphin, you can see what's ahead a whole lot better that way.
TgrsPurr.

I am currently at a fee-based clinic, but my GP uses a different, cash/insurance based clinic, which I quit because the pdoc that was assigned my case had me mis-medicated which caused my manic episode, which in turn put me on medical leave. It was after this, that I started at the fee-based clinic, and they are playing "Which shell has the ball" with me as far as T's go. This clinic is grant-funded, and after 2 visits with the pdoc, you HAVE to start paying their "going rate" of $50.

I have tried applying for welfare/Medicaid 3 TIMES and been denied each time, either because of my job, or the program was "frozen".

As far as getting more hours at work, I'm working on picking up other shifts at another office, so i can be considered full-time.

Right now, my Mom has been supporting me totally, meds, shelter, the whole nine.

I contacted my county Community Mental Health Services, and because I am still employed, they cannot help me.

My last hope is my GP will take on my case; he knows my history well, and knows I'm not going to go against his advice, or off my meds. I mean, I have to go see him for my 3-month blood levels anyways.

I'll know more on the 18th, when I see my GP (I'll also find out if I can return to work on the 21st). Thanks all of you for your advice, but believe me when I say, I'm fighting like Hell to find somewhere stable, that won't treat me like a ping-pong ball, and won't rape me with their "going rate".

Dolfin

Jenn

I know the fight is hard but keep the faith that something will go in your favour. Keep venting here when you need to. We're here for love and support. I really hope that things turn around for you soon and also that your GP will pick up the pieces for you. Thinking of you!!!

((((((((((((( Jenn )))))))))))))