rollercoaster

hello, I have been in a crazy relationship for over 4 yrs now. I love him very much but can't seem to understand why we have so many problems. I know he loves me (at least he seems too) we get into a argument & don't speak for a few days and here he comes back or I contact him..the problem I have with him is...he says he loves me and when its good its good but then wham ..we have a disagreement and he clams up ,doesnt speak to me and then when we do speak he doesnt take blame for anything he did .sometimes he goes about 2 weeks with no contact and then out of the blue he will contact me.I'm so confused as to what to do..sometimes I want to give up ! Then sometimes I want to make it work...I havent seen him online in a few days ..I wonder sometimes if he doesnt have someone else and using another screen name..I don't believe for one second he hurts the way I do or he would try to work it out while its happening and not wait a few weeks or days to contact me ...please help me ..what do you think is going on ...I admit when Im wrong but he just wont give at all...he will sit there sometimes and wont say a word it makes me feel uncomfortable ..am I a fool to believe he loves me? please help

I'm sorry you are in this relationship, Tryn...
It sounds like you are a good partner and he is NOT~!
Someone who cannot bend or see his own faults, admit he may have been wrong, then clam up for weeks??? What's that about, and how is that good for you? Maybe you should start thinking about moving away from this man.
Patty

Hi tryn2bhappy. It's hard being in a relationship where one partner does not feel appreciated enough. Relationships entail both commitment and communication. If one or the other is not forthcoming, this will not bode well for the long run. And four years is a long time really.

It is difficult to assess what is going on unless he opens up. Have you tried discussing things with him by telling him that you feel something is wrong with the relationship and you would like to talk about it. Hopefully you could both put all cards on the table, and try to determine where he is coming from (e.g. lack of contact, silence, does he want to be in a relationship). Couples therapy might also be another option..