[ConfusionCraze]

This is long but I figure the more details I give to explain the different..parts..of this then maybe someone can help me make sense out of this and figure out if I really had nothing with this guy or its the bipolar/drug addictions or what. I'm just..confused.

Back in October, I had met a guy in really random way. It's not like either of us were out looking for a date. I picked up something he dropped, then he dropped something else, we laughed, joked, talked..clicked instantly. He wrote down his number but wasn't leaving so I invited him to come with me and get a coffee...This lasted hours! We clicked that well. So well that we ended up hanging out for over 2 days straight; I had some errands to run and he insisted on tagging along.

Then it was getting late and he told me he never had that much fun with someone new just doing what we did. I agreed and we were both like "what next, everything is closing" so we caught a bus to the casino. Time flew there. We missed the bus back because some machine kept giving me money and he got into something on TV... Later, (next day now) I swiped my player's card and won a free night in the hotel.. and since we were both falling asleep..we went with it. Figures right? Needless to say a hotel room on the 2nd night together was awkward. We walked outside to the hotel..in the rain. He got soaked and when he took his shirt off I um kinda looked which he saw and thought he could get laid. He tried a few times, threw out some lame lines, made out a little then I kept pushing him away and telling him I didn't want to..Finally it sunk in and he felt like a jerk and apologized. So we actually slept and nothing happened. In the morning he apologized again. Then later he tried again. Then I guess by my reaction he assumed I had been raped or something which isn't true but I didn't tell him that..and said there was something building here and he'd wait. I apologized too because I guess did give mixed signals. So everything was FINE again, went and got food and caught a bus back. I have to admit I saw a few moodswng type things during these 2 days..but nothing aimed at me.

Next day it changes when we finally went our separate ways. He collects SSDI for bipolar. Forgot how this subject came up but also made a comment about hoping I never see "that side" of him..Random. He also had already told me he smokes pot "sometimes" and I didn't think it was a big deal. He went and got his check and to go buy pot and we planned to meet that evening but never showed up. Called later and he said he "started tripping"...Whatever. I said he could've at least told me instead of blowing me off. So again, everything was fine. The way he acted with the money/drugs thing was the first clue there was a problem there. Definitely an addict..talking really fast etc. Mood swings and voice changes.

I saw him twice after that... he was all horndog on me and got pissy when I just said it was too fast for me. Once he obviously had a few drinks and it wore off as he sobered up. Second time was WORSE and he actually got scary on me and I left....difference was he had drank AND was high. First thing in the morning he calls and apologizes (pattern) for being an *** and said we became instant good friends and he didn't want to ruin that. K..great.

A couple weeks later we hung out for a couple hours and it was great, he was "normal" and back to the original guy I met again. Apparently he was straight because something was going on he had to be straight for... Don't really know the story there, know pieces of it..he kind of got weird again saying something about might having to leave town and he'd promise to call me and let me know he was alright. And he did and everything was fine. But the staying straight didn't last long.

Haven't seen him since. He never called first since neither of us really talked on the phone and I'm the one who works and he figured if I can do something I'd call otherwise its pointless. He doesn't get texts or voice mail..(know for fact, not a lie) and rarely calls me back..although he used to.

Now..past 2 weeks or so.. The few times I get him on the phone, he just asks when I'm going to give it up and makes comments like "I waited weeks". He mumbles, voice is weird..sounds high/tired/out of it now. In general he sucks on the phone.never seems to hear on it or get what you're saying. It'd be easier to talk to him in person but apparently I'll probably never get that chance again. Last time he was like "lets get it on and then we can go do something".. I tried asking if thats all he wants and he quickly says "no" yet its all he's said the past few times I tried to call and see if he wanted to go do something.

Everyone who knows the basics of this situation just thinks I'm getting blown off for not having sex. But really, he was not a horndog in the beginning. I can read people well..I can tell when I'm being played and gawked at..I'm usually not naive. I don't have a long history of bad relationships. This guy wasn't like one of those guys at all and I don't think it was an act or fake. It's like what he is now saying doesn't match his actions those few times he was straight. People wonder why I'm still stuck on him and it's because I originally saw the good side of him. I don't think I can "save" or "change" the guy..I'm not one of those types of women. I wasn't playing hard to get.. Heck, other than those first 3 days I only saw him once straight since!
/
I just really don't understand how it turned into this.

Great few hours.. talk to him that night and he said he missed me, kept reassuring me he was "alright" and will call me the next day so I wouldn't worry..And since then nothing but asking for sex which were 45 second phone calls...Like.. OK?

Is it the bipolar and pushing me away thing? Depressive/low part of bipolar? Any hope he'll snap out of this in a few weeks or a month and call me again and be back to himself? At first I kept calling once a week or 2 weeks, or days in between just to show I am STILL interested because I was afraid if I stopped calling, he'd never call again. But now.. I don't want to call anymore anyway since the last 3 conversations were the same and didn't make me feel good. I'm an idiot if I call again. I just feel he's still in there..somewhere. I considered just purposly finding a way to accidentally run into him..just cause I think this would make more sense if I could actually talk to him face to face but I don't want to be needy and desperate either. I'm far from clingy. I just want closure or sense I guess. I know there are guys out there that don't treat women like this...but I had more in common and clicked better with this guy than I have with those other guys.

[spiritual_emergency]

ConfusionCraze: It's like what he is now saying doesn't match his actions those few times he was straight. People wonder why I'm still stuck on him and it's because I originally saw the good side of him. I don't think I can "save" or "change" the guy..I'm not one of those types of women. I wasn't playing hard to get.. Heck, other than those first 3 days I only saw him once straight since!

It sounds to me as if this guy was somewhere between stable and hypomanic when you met him and then entered a manic phase, possibly as triggered by recreational drugs.

When a person is hypomanic they can actually be a lot of fun to be with, once they become manic however they stop being quite so much fun. In part, this seems to be related to their inability to impose self-control, rather, they may become driven almost entirely by impulse. It may have been during this time that he was pressuring you most to have sex because hypersexuality can also be part of mania.

Is it the bipolar and pushing me away thing? Depressive/low part of bipolar? Any hope he'll snap out of this in a few weeks or a month and call me again and be back to himself? At first I kept calling once a week or 2 weeks, or days in between just to show I am STILL interested because I was afraid if I stopped calling, he'd never call again. But now.. I don't want to call anymore anyway since the last 3 conversations were the same and didn't make me feel good. I'm an idiot if I call again. I just feel he's still in there..somewhere.

That other side of him probably still is in there. How quickly that side returns might depend both on his treatment and his own actions. Most people find medication helps them to maintain stability however it can also leave them feeling flattened as compared with the "feel good" euphoria that hypomania and mania can offer. For that reason they may go off their medication or attempt to produce a manic cycle by going without sleep, drinking alcohol, using drugs or something else.

Some people experience very short periods of mania while others can remain in a manic state for weeks or months. Depending on the individual, they may plummet into depression next, return to a point of relative stability or possibly, begin cycling rapidly between a depressive and manic state.

As you've discovered, it can be very difficult to maintain a relationship with someone who can be swept away by such intense emotional extremes. If you feel you know the guy well enough you could try suggesting to him that he seems to be experiencing mania and you'd love to hang out with him again once he's stable. It might not hurt to encourage him to contact family members or a professional; he might need some extra help to put the brakes on or slow down the manic episode. Hospitalization may even be required for a short time.

Whether or not you should get involved? In spite of any magic that flowed between you in the course of those first few days, I'd suggest you be cautious about giving away your heart right now. Maintain a casual friendship if you can but don't close yourself down to other dating opportunities. If the guy does stabilize and wants to pick up where you left off, insist that he adhere to a form of treatment that helps keep him relatively stable, don't support or encourage his use of recreational drugs, and be cautious about the use of alcohol since it's verboten when taking some drugs used to treat bipolar disorder. Also, get to know his friends and family members so you can become a part of his support network. It's helpful to have everyone on the same page and you may also benefit from the insights and support they can offer.

Steer clear. He sounds like a jerk, bipolar or not.

[phoenix47baby]

I'm with farmergirl on this one. If he wanted to become stable, he would be taking his meds if he takes them at all and steering clear of mood altering drugs. You don't need this. Who knows if he was not loaded all along when you were with him? Good Luck.

[FeelingHopeful]

I Agree With Spritual Emergency , I Think You Prob did see that Person in there that you truly liked and I believe there still there, Who Knows he may have been looking for someone like you, I know itshard but Sometimes Genuine People are hard to find so If you saw something in him, give him a chance. You may be exactly what he needs to be inspired to get the help he needs. Wishing You Well And Hugs!

[spiritual_emergency]

farmergirl: He sounds like a jerk, bipolar or not.

The truth seems to be that people in manic states are not very nice people. Whether or not that's an enduring trait that will still be present once the manic phase comes to an end probably varies according to the individual. In terms of my own child, I'm very much aware that there is a true Jekyll to Hyde transformation that takes place; it's not so much that they become a completely different person as much as the repressed aspects of their personality come forward and assume dominance of their personality.

I am attempting to understand these polarity processes from a Jungian perspective within the framework of shadow possession...

Shadow Possession: This involves being taken over by the shadow, “acting out” in the voice of the shadow without consciously choosing to do so and often without realizing that one is doing this. A person is especially vulnerable to shadow possession when under the influence of mob psychology, alcohol, drugs, etc.

Source: Myths, Dreams & Symbols

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde: ... it isn't the gross out, gory stuff of horror that shakes us to our bones; it is the searing truth of its indictment that nails us against the wall saying, "here, look at this horrific spectacle - this is you!"

In Robert Louis Stevenson’s The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Jekyll is the respectable doctor whose experiments manufacture a craggy monster-like man prone to evil acts. Just as it is easy as readers to focus on the depravity of Frankenstein's monster, forgetting his absent creator, we're compelled to detest the crude Hyde and sympathize with Dr. Jekyll.

More jarring than these initial responses are the penetrating studies which peel the apparent away to reveal the lurking truth - the truth that horrifies. In The Strange Trial of Mr. Hyde, John Sanford employs Jungian psychology and Christian thought to flip our assumptions about good and evil on their heads. Is Dr. Jekyll, outstanding citizen that he is, more responsible for the evil unleashed by Mr. Hyde than Hyde himself? Is there something about Jekyll rather than Hyde that needs to be destroyed?

Sanford answers yes to both these questions and explains how what appears to be good can mask evil and how what appears to be evil can be used for good. Sanford creates a mock trial in which Counselor Mapleson argues not against the injustice of Hyde's actions, but against the sole responsibility placed on Hyde as the author of his evil. Sanford indicts Jekyll, the creator of Hyde, as the greater evil.

Using Jungian terms, Sanford explains that we live out of two centers of personality, the ego and the Self. The ego is the center of our conscious personality, the part of us through which we encounter the world. The Self is a larger reality which encompasses and energizes the ego. The Self, which some liken to God, provides a larger framework in which the ego can view reality - offering creativity and a sense of meaning in life. The ego and Self are meant to have a relationship in which each supports and serves the other, resulting in a whole person.

Many of our egos, however, are not interested in sharing the limelight with the Self. A relationship with a meaningful source might mean the diminishment of the ego's control, something we don't want to concede. And so we live out of an egocentric ego resulting in a selfish and false existence.

During the trial, Mapleson points out how concerned Jekyll was with his reputation: he sported numerous degrees on his calling card, went to great lengths to be seen as a decent, reputable man, and after one of Hyde's more destructive bouts, even became religious. To support such a fine reputation, something has to be sacrificed; in Jekyll's case it was anything that would suggest he was less than pure. In short Jekyll sacrificed his authenticity. Acknowledging that all of us are a mixed bag of finer and weaker traits, we wonder where he stuffed those less than pure qualities.

Enter the Jungian concept of the shadow, all those qualities that could have become part of the structure of the ego but were repressed. What we mistake for Jekyll's goodness is only a mask that has been distorted and brought into the service of the egocentric ego. Below this mask lies the shadow, hidden away. But unless the dark side is included, a person cannot be whole.

When Hyde emerges we are appalled by his evil acts, but he is merely the manifestation of the absence of good. Sanford argues that the blame for Hyde's evil lies with Jekyll's false ego which, having distorted what it ought to be, has produced evil. It is the egocentric aspect of the ego intent on destroying wholeness that is the locus of evil. The argument continues that Hyde's evil is used by the Self to destroy that which is truly evil: Jekyll's egocentricity.

For Jekyll this split between ego and shadow resulted in a cyclical existence of apparent good and blatant evil. This is where the story touches my life. It has been my experience that the messy cycle of good and evil is not hard to get caught up in. When the wheel plummets downward, I mope, depressed after having done something selfish and often harmful. My greatest fear is that I've been found out. Now what will my friends think of me, those to whom I have been cruel, from whom I cannot hide. I must repair, be kind, save face. I read of better ways to live and am inspired, feel convicted and recommit. I will be generous, consider others, and do what is right. But soon, at the pinnacle of the wheel, I find myself on the park bench with Dr. Jekyll, comparing my kind acts to the selfishness I see in others. It is only a matter of time before righteous judgment morphs into a hairy beast. And she appears, my Ms. Hyde to wreak havoc on an unsuspecting passerby.

It's chilling to recognize one's habitual patterns in one of the most horrific of classic literature's characters...

Source: The Strange Trial of Mr. Hyde

See also: YouTube - Shadow Possession:

__________________

~ Kindness is cheap. It's unkindness that always demands the highest price.

---

Last edited by spiritual_emergency; Dec 13, 2009 at 09:08 AM.

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[Navygrrl]

I totally get that. I tend to overcompensate for my hypomanic episodes (the ones where I'm raging and cruel and hate everyone) by swinging too much to the other side - being too loving and considerate. Although, it's a very frightening thought to think that the scary side that comes out really is me, just as much as the loving side is.

[spiritual_emergency]

Navygrrl: I totally get that.

Yep. Me too. It was ConfusionCraze's initial emphasis on the split between good/bad that initially drew my attention because this is something I have observed in my own child and frequently been baffled, confused and certainly, hurt, by it too.

The hurt part is what feeds into my own shadow -- then, they act out and I act out in return. Later, I regret having gotten angry and wonder if I was too harsh; I question if I should have been more loving and forgiving. This is the critical thing to remember -- we all have a shadow side to our psyche and to be overcome by it is the equivalent of a "possession" state. Perhaps we can also become possessed by our ego/persona state as well, wherein we attempt to present ourselves as pristine, perfect, good, kind, unconditionally loving and compassionate, etc. much like Jekyll.

Meantime, my own introduction to the Jungian model was via my own experience of psychosis so this influences and affects how I attempt to interpret the behaviors and experiences associated with bipolar disorder as well. Here's the standard model I frequently drag into the Schizophrenia and Psychosis discussion area...

Source: Archetypes & The Individuation Process

Something I am becoming aware of as I see more of these behaviors/episodes is that bipolar disorder seems to lie closer to the surface of the psyche, calling into play predominantly the persona/ego (our sense of self-identity) and the shadow (the parts of our psyche we'd prefer to deny or disown). Psychosis on the other hand (which can be part of the bipolar experience too) seems to penetrate deeper into the psyche -- ideally, as far as the anima/animus and the Self. It may also go beyond the personal unconscious into the collective unconscious.

Here's something else I've noticed (lifted from my own notes)...

The grandiosity I see in my child during mania is not the same grandiosity I see in a schizophrenic episode. The grandiose schizophrenic self-identifies with divine, possibly royal figures (i.e., Jesus Christ; a King or Queen) which are, themselves, symbols of the Self. My own child's experience of grandiosity however centers around their own self-identity/ego: they are the most attractive, they are the most interesting, they are incredibly talented, they are the most intelligent, etc.

If you didn't know my child has a diagnosis of bipolar disorder, you might mistake them for a narcissist in their manic episodes because they are so fixated on the "positive" aspects of their own self-identity. These positive aspects certainly are present -- they are attractive, interesting, talented and intelligent -- but they can end up inflating these positive traits to an extreme. This suggests to me that there is a compensatory action at work that is associated with their ego (sense of self-identity).

In reflecting on my own child's life experience I also find it telling that they began to experience difficulties when attempting to transition from high school (a setting in which they were enormously popular and received a lot of positive ego strokes) to the adult world of work and relationship; a setting in which they did not feel positive and confident. They also soon discovered that the adult world did not care how many talent contests they had won or how attractive they were and this was a further blow to their sense of stable self-identity. It's also worth noting that they have very high personal standards -- they do want to be "the best" in what they choose to do and can be very harsh on themselves if they fail to live up to their self-imposed standard. I'm not implying the same is true of all people with bipolar disorder for I can only speak of my own experience with it. What's relayed here are my own attempts to understand what it's all about in respect to my own child and therefore, how I can best help them work with it in a productive manner. In our case, that includes making use of meds as a tool but also psychology as a tool.

See also: Ego: The False Center

[ConfusionCraze]

Thanks spirtual_emergency(and everyone else)

Originally Posted by spiritual_emergency

It sounds to me as if this guy was somewhere between stable and hypomanic when you met him and then entered a manic phase, possibly as triggered by recreational drugs.

Stable sounds right. I was thinking "straight" or detoxed from drugs..but then with withdraw/detoxing he would've been irritable or depressed and he wasn't really that either so I'd go with stable. He wasn't all crazy fun when we met..just willing to do whatever. I'm impulsive and spontaneous..was my idea to go to the casino which is at least an hour away. I guess my personality traits fitted well with his hypomania? lol

I'd guess the 'hypomania' started when he came back from the bank with a few hundred dollars that was to be used for pot and some things he actually needed. He was telling me about something that pissed him off and he was talking so fast and all over the place that I couldn't even follow the story. I thought he was just understandably mad about it and why he went and smoked after that..but probably just having the money started it so he can finally get high again.

That other side of him probably still is in there. How quickly that side returns might depend both on his treatment and his own actions. Most people find medication helps them to maintain stability however it can also leave them feeling flattened as compared with the "feel good" euphoria that hypomania and mania can offer. For that reason they may go off their medication or attempt to produce a manic cycle by going without sleep, drinking alcohol, using drugs or something else.

I know SSDI makes him see a psych but I know they also can't make anyone take medication. Do psychs mention drjeckle/mr hyde personality cause he actually used those words. I don't think he's on meds. Doesn't really seem like the medication kinda guy anyway. Plus I guess they wouldn't work anyway since he's smoking and drinking at least a few times a week. I don't even understand how he gets away with it..with SSDI, record of being bipolar, police records of drug possession ..you'd think he'd have to do drug tests or something but apparently not.

In spite of any magic that flowed between you in the course of those first few days, I'd suggest you be cautious about giving away your heart right now. Maintain a casual friendship if you can but don't close yourself down to other dating opportunities.

That's what I was trying to do but I think it pushed him away more. He's been stuck on this sex thing for a month. I coudln't even be comfortable with it unless he was back to being the guy I met again. Plus, as easily as he tried going for it.. I can't help but wonder how many others he's slept with that easily. Not like he carries condoms on him..so apparently not much concern for STDS or pregnancy once he gets going unless he planned on doing the lame pull out method which most people know doesn't always work. Also, would I have to worry about getting raped or him going so hard it hurts? If the tension has built up that much inside him that he keeps stressing he's "waited weeks", would I regret it if I did? Not the impression I got the first night he tried but now um not so sure. Maybe I'd have to see the normal guy again and be comfortable again for a while to decide.

[ConfusionCraze]

Originally Posted by FeelingSad

I Agree With Spritual Emergency , I Think You Prob did see that Person in there that you truly liked and I believe there still there, Who Knows he may have been looking for someone like you, I know itshard but Sometimes Genuine People are hard to find so If you saw something in him, give him a chance. You may be exactly what he needs to be inspired to get the help he needs. Wishing You Well And Hugs!

Yeah, I wanted to give it a chance. I clicked better with this guy and had more fun with him than with "nice" guys who I had more in common with. But I don't see how I'll even see that person again. The only way I have to contact him is via phone and no texting/voice mail/email. I don't even know where he lives. Since this new supposed bipolar phase hit he's blowing me off and won't talk to me. . If he snaps out of it and is back to himself... what are the chances he'd randomly call after so much time has passed?

I know he "sounds like a jerk" and all..but if it didn't seem like a facade like something else was making him that way..I wouldn't be so damn confused.

[spiritual_emergency]

ConfusionCraze: I'd guess the 'hypomania' started when he came back from the bank with a few hundred dollars that was to be used for pot and some things he actually needed. He was telling me about something that pissed him off and he was talking so fast and all over the place that I couldn't even follow the story. I thought he was just understandably mad about it and why he went and smoked after that..but probably just having the money started it so he can finally get high again.

The behaviors and activities you describe are consistent with those experienced by others in a manic episode. One thing you'll have to put some thought into is that you seem to have really enjoyed doing those things with this guy but those are the sort of activities he probably shouldn't engage in. Would you still want to be with him if he couldn't go to casinos or bars, stay up until the wee hours of the morning, or use pot or alcohol? Altnernatively, could you cope with the guilt of doing those things with him knowing they were contributing to a manic episode and the damage that frequently entails?

Do psychs mention drjeckle/mr hyde personality cause he actually used those words.

Not as far as I know although I thought it was a very good example. I was concerned about using those words myself because I worried some people might be offended by the reference. The concept of "shadow possession" also strikes me as apt and possibly, less offensive to some, but most people probably aren't as familiar with that term. In terms of my child, I'm hopeful that if they can bring aspects of their personal shadow into ego consciousness and work to assimilate them, this will "drain the pool" so there's less shadow material to draw on during a manic episode. That's a long-term approach and I have no idea if it will prove to be helpful to them or not.

I don't think he's on meds. Doesn't really seem like the medication kinda guy anyway. Plus I guess they wouldn't work anyway since he's smoking and drinking at least a few times a week. I don't even understand how he gets away with it..with SSDI, record of being bipolar, police records of drug possession ..you'd think he'd have to do drug tests or something but apparently not.

The medication issue can become quite complex as can the legalities surrounding it. Laws vary by geographical region but usually, people can only be involuntarily hospitalized or forced to take medication if it can be demonstrated they present as a harm to themselves or another. People seem more likely to be hospitalized when they're in a depressive state (and thus, may consider suicide) as opposed to a manic state but that's just my observations.

He's been stuck on this sex thing for a month. I coudln't even be comfortable with it unless he was back to being the guy I met again. Plus, as easily as he tried going for it.. I can't help but wonder how many others he's slept with that easily.

Portions of mania include making risky decisions, exercising poor judgement or lacking the ability to rein in impulses -- for some people that may translate into promiscuous or risky sexual behavior. If you did make the decision to have a sexual relationship with this fellow, you can bring your own condoms as a just in case measure.

Meantime, do be assured that many people with bipolar disorder live relatively stable lives and many of them are exceedingly nice people. It's possible this guy is one of them but he would likely need to commit to some form of treatment and lifestyle changes that can help him maintain that stability before he's capable of being in a committed relationship. It's also possible he'll call you a few weeks or months from now from a position of stability and suggest a coffee. However, if he's not willing to actively pursue a form of treatment that produces tangible results, I'd suggest you keep the memory of the few good times you shared as just that -- a memory and nothing more.

[spiritual_emergency]

ConfusionCraze, this link might also be useful to you. It's just a very brief list: The Top 10 Signs of Bipolar Disorder

[ConfusionCraze]

Originally Posted by spiritual_emergency

The behaviors and activities you describe are consistent with those experienced by others in a manic episode. One thing you'll have to put some thought into is that you seem to have really enjoyed doing those things with this guy but those are the sort of activities he probably shouldn't engage in. Would you still want to be with him if he couldn't go to casinos or bars, stay up until the wee hours of the morning, or use pot or alcohol? Altnernatively, could you cope with the guilt of doing those things with him knowing they were contributing to a manic episode and the damage that frequently entails?

I understand what you're getting at spiritual_emergency but apparently Igave you the wrong impression. We didn't go to bars and I don't drink or use pot so no that wouldn't be an issue. He's been smoking pot for over a decade. He wasn't really into the gambling aspect of the casino that was more me. He didn't even have anything to drink that night..so the first sexual impulses weren't alcohol/pot induced. Mus've been just the hypomania starting like you said before.

If he did have issues with doing something like going to the casino.I'd have no problem going without him. If he had more money on him when we went I guess I could see how that could potentially be a problem..then again he seems to be tight on money just to spend it on pot.

I enjoyed the fact that he could be spontaneous and willing to do whatever; whenever. It didn't have to be the casino or out all night..So I would still want to be with him if it could've been something else random. I don't want to be with the type of guy who needs to plan things days in advance unless something like work got in the way.

Thanks for the help. You (and the other posters) did help me make more sense out of this whole situation and how it played out and I understand it better. I have no interest in calling him anytime soon but if he happened to call or I did run into him again then I would still give the friendship thing a chance and take it from there.

[spiritual_emergency]

ConfusionCraze: I understand what you're getting at spiritual_emergency but apparently Igave you the wrong impression. We didn't go to bars and I don't drink or use pot so no that wouldn't be an issue. He's been smoking pot for over a decade. He wasn't really into the gambling aspect of the casino that was more me. He didn't even have anything to drink that night..so the first sexual impulses weren't alcohol/pot induced. Mus've been just the hypomania starting like you said before.

Thanks for clarifying, ConfusionCraze. Meantime, I came across this link earlier today. If he does come back into your life and you want to resume a relationship with him, there might be some good tips there for you: How to Date Someone With Bipolar Disorder

~ Namaste