[owllover99]

I guess that says it all - falling apart. I can't work. I'm so depressed. After 16 years of just haldol and nothing else, now I'm on lithium and have started lamactial and am taking 3 mg klonipin. And I'm a wreck. I go to my pdoc today and to my T soon but this is not like me. I was the one people leaned on and was the strong one. Now I'm so depressed. My husband is doing his best to understand. But who can understand but another bipolar? I have a job to go to. I've worked for the govt for 26 years. I have 3 years to go till retirement. Now I wonder if I can. It is so hard to put up with work - even when I wasn't this depressed. I felt dirty and I didn't fit and how can I put it it was hard to do. Now all this comes out. But I'm supposed to be strong and work 2 peoples jobs and take whatever is dished out to me.
I just hope my pdoc can help me and understand I'm not faking. That this is all real.

[Navygrrl]

Do you see a T as well? My pdoc only deals with my meds, while my T helps me work though things, although I'm still not sure that cognitive therapy is the best for me. Either way, good luck! I've been in your situation before, and I felt like I was going to be crushed with all of the responsibilities I had to carry.

owllover! Remember it is ok not to be the strong one sometimes, you know? Hope this can all get sorted out for you as soon as might be because that is a hard place to be...

[sikkgirl]

Owllover I understand I'm bipolar diagnosed 6 yrs ago, I'm not medicated just 2mg of klonapin ughh I hate psych docs ughh I can't even go.. lately things have been pretty bad... just keep your head up your not alone. Believe me.

[scrambled mother]

New to bipolar but I try to remember that I have bipolar and NOTHING is going to change that. So I focus on only today. "Today, I will pry my ***** off the sofa and tackle the moment."

[imfalling]

My therapist says:

Get Up
Dress Up
Show Up

So most days I don't want to do anything but sit and stare' I am doing this everyday. No matter that most days I don't leave my house, I seem to feel better about myself once I've showered got dressed and do my hair. Stay positive if you can, it's so hard I know, but maybe we can all help each other. I am very blessed to have found this site.

[owllover99]

I told my pdoc I don't like winter (he didn't ask why) it's because it's cold and he wanted me to get a $300 light and said I had this syndrome that I know I don't have. I am 56 and and never had it. He is mad at me. I'm going to a new pdoc Mon. I couldn't sleep. I wanted to die. I went to my regular doc and he gave me a few sleeping pills and 10 25 mg zoloft but I still feel like dying. I haven't ate today. I hope this new pdoc is good. We shall see.

[lonegael]

Owlover, what happeneed there? did you tell him you had the syndrom so that he wouldn't push you to buy the light? and now he's mad at you? Oh dear, it sounds like you have a lot to be stressed about. I know the medicines are hardto takein the beginning,esp. if you have the lithium on top of it (can be hard on the stomache). It usually takes time before it gets better, but I'm sure you know that . HUggs, and try to get something down you.