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#1
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I'm feeling ok slightly blue to certain things. But was out and about today which is not normal for me bcz the anxiety. I'm not really happy. I have had a good day. Yet still don't feel good. Almost numb. Can't cry. *sigh* can't really smile. I'm back in my room as I have been all week while I'm at home. I've gone to work and made it through the days without crying. Last night though I cldnt stop the tears. Today I cleaned I felt energized. And I don't anymore I feel...I feel...I'm not sure how I feel. *sigh* I guess it cld be worse
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#2
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Hugs bridgie. Sounds like you are in a tough place. If you want to talk, I am here to listen.
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"School is shortened, discipline relaxed, philosophies, histories, languages dropped, English and spelling gradually gradually neglected, finally almost completely ignored. Life is immediate, the job counts, pleasure lies all about after work. Why learn anything save pressing buttons, pulling switches, fitting nuts and bolts?" Bradbury, Ray Fahrenheit 451 p 55-56 |
#3
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I'm in a dull lifeless place. I don't want to die but I don't want to be here. I'm thinking of course and focusing almost to the point of obsession that I'm ok. I am ok. I don't like being ok. I want to smile for my son. I want to go in the living room and play games with him. I don't feel well when I'm out there. I feel better in my own room. I don't really do anything I there. Just lay around and wait. Don't know what I'm waiting for. A sign a phone call. What kind of sign and wld I even answer the phone if it did ring. I don't know. What kind of life is this. How much longer do I have to live it.
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#4
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I continue on on this thread as there's no reason to make a new since really it is one. Ihave a ltl more to get out. I m not even quite sure what it is yet here I type. I guess hoping the feeling will come out in words. Alas it is still just feeling. There are really no words to describe today how I am really feeling. Maybe I'm not feeling at all or I'm feeling everything and its keeping me at a standstill. So I guess I don't know how to say what I need to say. When I figure it out I'll let it out. *sigh* its just so sad
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#5
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When I am really depressed I usually wish to disappear. I feel like I would be doing my family a great service if I just ceased to exist. Rarely do I wish to die, though sometimes I do. But I often feel so blah that I feel like I am wasting air.
Yesterday I was seriously wasting air. I found that I sort of just sat and stared most of the day. Ug. I am sorry you are in a bad place, bridgie. I hope things get better for you.
__________________
"School is shortened, discipline relaxed, philosophies, histories, languages dropped, English and spelling gradually gradually neglected, finally almost completely ignored. Life is immediate, the job counts, pleasure lies all about after work. Why learn anything save pressing buttons, pulling switches, fitting nuts and bolts?" Bradbury, Ray Fahrenheit 451 p 55-56 |
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