[gravyyy]

Honestly, and not to sound like a drama queen, but guys, really, the pain is horrible. All I can think about is, well, you know. I just can't keep doing this. Trying to be normal for my family and friends and work. It's bad that I was snowed in today but for real, the pain is unbearable at this point. If you cut my arm off it would feel better than this. SO sorry everyone.... I hate being negative... I'm just in pain and not particularly safe (though I've been worse) and scared, and tired, and angry, and every other emotion you can think of.

[FeelingHopeful]

Gravyy!! Aw dont worry about the post, your in pain, thats what we are here for, Is there anyone around you now that can help you? Im worried about you friend.

[lynn P.]

Hi ((gravyyy)) - I just want you to know that I read your post and so sorry you're in pain. Take some deep slow breaths and remember how you've probably felt like this before and this will pass like all the other times - right. Don't hesitate to call someone or a crisis centre if you really feel unsafe. How much snow do you have there?

[BNLsMOM]

Don't apologize for your feelings. If anyone understands, we on this site do. If you are terribly unsafe, please call a crisis line or even 911 if you feel you need immediate treatment.

In the meantime, try to have some tea, maybe read a favorite book or watch a funny movie and by all means stay with us and post here.

You can PM me if you need to.

[KDlady]

sending hugs -

[pondbc]

So sorry you are having a tough time. I hope by the time you read this you might be feeling a little better. Don't worry what anyone else thinks and make peace of mind your number one priority.

[lynn P.]

I have a very good crisis link - would you like me to post it? I'll be on for another 15 minutes.

[gravyyy]

Thanks everyone for your support. You're all wonderful. I have taken my nighttime meds and I am going to go lay down in bed and hopefully tomorrow morning the pain level will be less. It's just been escalating over the past few weeks and I can't take it anymore. If I still lived in Philly I would consider hospitalization at this point but that's just not an option now that I'm back home. My boyfriend is here, though he's seemingly mad at me for some unknown reason, but with that I won't do anything.... not tonight. Bed time for now. Please, please, please let me sleep.

[lynn P.]

Thank you very much for getting back to us. Good to know you're not in immediate danger. I want you to do some visual imagery - imagine you're putting all your pain into a box, lock it up and put it high on a shelf - that includes your boyfriend too lol. Curl up under the nice warm covers and just relax. I hope you have a peaceful nights sleep and you'll feel better tomorrow. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

[BNLsMOM]

Have a good sleep. I hope you are feeling better in the morning.

[perpetuallysad]

Gravvvy sorry I wasn't on earlier to see this. I hope you are ok and have lots of good sleep tonight.

[lonegael]

Hows it going, Gravvy? So glad to see that you posted when you felt so bad, but not glad that you feel bad. Has it helped getting some sleèp? Could you sleep?What are your options now that you are back home, when something like this happens?

[FeelingHopeful]

Really Glad you posted again and that your going to try and rest. Please check in tomorrow and let us know how your doing, said a little prayer before for you friend.

[Ascension]

I hope you are asleep and getting a bit of strength back as I am writing this. Sending you my well wishes.

[gravyyy]

Well I made it through the night. It seemed like I was getting triggered by everything last night and because of it I felt weird and "floaty." I started a new med for sleep the night before last which seemed to help me sleep but then yesterday I went from really hyper and running around in the 18-20 inches of snow outside while digging out my car to really angry to then last night where I was certain things were going to end badly. I took double the dose of the sleeping med but still couldn't fall aslepp for a while. I slept off and on but at least for right now I feel okay. My thoughts haven't had a chance to wake up yet though so we'll see. Super Bowl party tonight at my brother's house so it should be another safe night by default. I just can't keep on like this for much longer so pdoc better be thinking of something to fix this and quick!!! Thanks again everyone for your encouragement and support. It means a lot.

[lynn P.]

Thanks for the update and glad you got a bit of sleep. WOW 20 inches - I don't feel so bad now, it's just cold. I hope you get relief soon Gravyyy.

[FeelingHopeful]

Im glad you posted gravvy with a update and that you were able to sleep, im around all night so please pm me if you need to, im here for ya friend, I will be on and off the site throughout the night.

[BashfullOne]

Please keep in touch tomorrow and let us know how your doing. Hopefully things will be better for you tomorrow. I hope you get a good nights sleep. (((Gravyyy))) Hugs

[gravyyy]

Thanks again everyone for helping me get through this weekend. I still feel pretty crummy but I went to work today and got out of the house and away from the mess that is my living situation right now. My boyfriend is super triggering me and he doesn't have a job (long story but he just moved up here with me 2 weeks ago) so he's around all the time. It was just a bad, bad weekend, but I am really hoping the week straightens out (thought we're supposed to get 6-8 more inches of snow on top of the 20 inches that are already on the ground. Makes home health nursing tough, especially when I'm travelling up to 450 miles per week!!! ARGH!!!!! Thanks though, everyone. I really needed support and you all came through for me.

[Nudyinae]

I have been where you are and will probably will again. I know it's hard, you'll make it through... the strength is there, it may be hidden but you'll find it and get through it. I typically sleep through it as much as possible (although it may not be the best thing to do).