[BNLsMOM]

Does anyone feel guilty about receiving disability? I got my official letter today saying that my children and I will be receiving checks in the next couple of days. They are back-paying me the maximum amount.

I feel really guilty about it, eventhough I know I need it and haven't had a proper pay check for nearly three years.

How do others on disability deal with feelings of guilt about receiving money?

It feels very confusing because I wanted to be approved and I feel terrible when I read about someone being denied...

I don't know, it's just weird.

BNLsMOM, those who worked paid the premiums for the disability insurance benefits you and your children will be receiving. No need to feel guilty for what you are entitled too.

[grizmom]

I feel guilty sometimes, but I try to remember that if I hadn't gotten accepted I would probably not be alive now. I wouldn't have had any way to get treatment and meds and everything, and I would have been stuck living with my parents, and if that had been the case I most likely would have died by sui. I've been on it for a lot of years now, but I keep hoping that someday I'll be well enough to work again, even if it's only a few hours a week. Or maybe I will be able to volunteer and help others. In some way I will find a way to do something positive in this life. Sorry if I don't make sense, my thoughts are a little jumbled tonight.

[Moreta]

Originally Posted by BNLsMOM

Does anyone feel guilty about receiving disability? I got my official letter today saying that my children and I will be receiving checks in the next couple of days. They are back-paying me the maximum amount.

I feel really guilty about it, eventhough I know I need it and haven't had a proper pay check for nearly three years.

How do others on disability deal with feelings of guilt about receiving money?

It feels very confusing because I wanted to be approved and I feel terrible when I read about someone being denied...

I don't know, it's just weird.

When I was out of work for 8 weeks, I felt bad about getting disability checks, even though I had paid for the coverage. I think most of the problem was that I felt bad because I was out of work. Where I work also provides the option to carry Long Term Disability coverage as well. I have the buy-up plan for short term and long term, so when I inevitably do go crazy again, I will have those options.

[thinker22]

I feel guilty about even applying for disability. I know I need it as it's the only way I will continue to get my meds for practically nothing. The meds keep me alive and out of the hospital. If it weren't a life or death situation I'd feel worse.

But still, I realize there are some people more disabled than I who can't even work one day a week. Yet, this is not enough to survive on and certainly not enough to get insurance. I was denied individual insurance due to my mental health issues and I know no one else will take me on but SSDI.

I recently appealed the first denial as it was obvious they didn't even read my doctor's letters. My p-doc said they just automatically deny to see if you will appeal or not and agreed that they hadn't read her letter. If I do get disability, I think of it as only a temporary solution and that once I get more stable on a good meds combo, I'll be able to work more and pay for rent and my other bills. In the meantime, I too paid the insurance premiums for disability in my 12 years of working on and off. Not everyone will need it in their lifetime. That's what insurance is for.

You don't need to feel guilty if that helps. Easier said than done I realize.

[IndigoRose]

You should in no way feel guilty. It's there to help you and it's your right to have those benefits.

[Lisa Michelle]

I'm in the process (procrastinating my arse off!!!!!) of applying for disability, and I can totally relate to your feelings. I even feel a horrible sort of... embarrasment? shame maybe. And I feel like I don't "deserve" it. A sort of "why should I be paid not to work when others have to work?".
If you've been approved though, it means you NEED it and you deserve it. I understand you feel guilt, but you also shouldn't, because you're entitled to the benefit, and it's there exactly for people like you who need it. If there was a choice between this and being well enough to work I'm sure you would take it.
Hope your feelings have settled a bit. You need and deserve the benefit x

[cocos421]

I've been receiving disability for about 3 years. I do feel giulty at times, especially when I feel OK. But I wouldn't want to have it taken away. It's my family's only source of income right now. And I know how I get when I do have a job. I wouldn't last long.

[Merlin]

I have only been on short term disability so I know that differently colors my experience. There was a small degree of shame, but I could offset it by reminded myself that I had paid into disability and that I was getting the treatment I needed to get off disability. I imagine the shame would have been greater if I had needed long term disability.

[Anneinside]

Whether you are getting disability from an insurance plan or from SSDI, you paid into the system that was set up to provide income when you can't physically or mentally do it yourself. I was on only disability from my long-term disability insurance but after a year they had me apply for SSDI which I was granted. Most of the time I don't feel bad about being on it but I won't go to the university I taught at for anything. When I see people from there that I knew I feel very embarrassed and look away. There is only one person from the university I still see and that is only about every 6 months or so for lunch.

Since getting on case management through the county, I became a member of a social club for people with severe and persistent mental illness and they have become my main outlet for friends. So, most of my current friends are on disability for mental illness. There is no shame when I am with them.

[susan888]

My 26 year old daughter has been disabled with a bladder disease since she was 16 years old. Believe me she tried so hard to hold down a job until she was 20 and had been fired from 4 jobs and had to quit nursing school because of her illness. Social Security disability is meant to take care of those who need help. Please don't feel guilty for needing that assistance!

My daughter has suffered the stigma of being on disability because she is so young. Someday I may need it too and I just hope it is still available!

I think a lot of the stigma is because some people abuse it. I can think of 2 family members and at least 5 people I know that have nothing wrong with them, but just want to be taken care of...those people ruin a good program for those that truly need it.

[WendyAussie]

I'm in Australia and I've been on what is called here the Disability Support Pension for three years. I was a hard worker for years before that - I was one of those kids who worked during the last three years of High School, got all my Tertiary education while working in high pressure jobs. I am so grategul to have the Pension as it simply doesn't exist in most parts of the world. As Griiz said, I probably would have suicided had I not had the Pension. - I have no other means of support such as family or a life partner.

But there are two parts about which I feel yucky, Yes I do feel guilty sometimes because I am a worker by nature and I too fall for the line of thinking that says, but there are people who live with much worse illnesses or injuries than me - spinal injuries, terrible burns etc. But the thing is that this IS a serious illness (I have Bipolar and panic and anxiety disorrders as well as being a 11 years sober alcoholic). And every now and again I fall for the line of thinking, without realising I am falling into it that says - this is an illness of the mind, not the body, so it is not as bad as people with sever physical injuries. And that is SUCH ********. The suicidality - sometime with the act being completed or uncompleted, the terrible loss of functionality - the whole deal - it IS serious and I do deserve to be looked after. I have never been a malingerer, and I tried last year, with a long lead-up, heaps of help from a raft of people in the mental health profession and employment specialists to try to go back to work and I simply can't do what I did successfully for years any more.

And the other thing is that the Disability Support Pension is exctremely difficult to get in Australia (and I gather in the US) and I was, sadly of course, tick, tick, tick with all their criterial and reports from my psychiatrist. So that is an indicator in itself that I should be on it. NOTE: I also know there are people as sick as me or worse who haven't been able to get it, so I am even more grateful.

The other thing is about both grief and ego. I had a great high status career, for which I did a heap of study. I was really good at it until the end. I miss it terribly and can say 100% that I would rather be working than on the Pension. Work provides intellectual stimulation, social contact, self esteem, feelings of achievement. All gone now.

And that is along with the separation from family and friends that mental illness bring, leaves me very isolated and without the support of a social support network - which is terrible for the recovery of a mentally ill person.

So grateful I am for the Pension, but would much rather not be on it.

[leah0306]

i M WAITING FOR HOPEFULLY A POSITIVE ANSWER TO MY SSDI APPEAL. WHERE I LIVE IT CAN TAKE 30 MONTHS JUST TO HEAR IF YOUR ACCEPTED OR DENIED, AND THIS IS AFTER YOU HAVE WENT THRU THE DENIALS, THE HEARINGS!!! IT SUCKS THAT ITS HARD TO GET ACCEPTED, I HAVE BP,ANXIETY DISORDER, LUPUS.... AND THERE RESPONSE WAS TO GET A JOB AS A TICKET TAKER!!!!!!WTF.......ANYWAYS IT IS EMABARASSING BUT SO CRUCIAL FOR SOME OF US.....TAKE CARE

[LoneScout]

Everyone has very good posts.. mine is simple..

Take the money, your worth it, yep every penny. Don't even worry, they will print more.

Money is for the living, you can't take it with you, glad that we have a country that can give you some.
Remember your so worth it!

[Yoda]

I applied for disability in Feb 2000 and was approved after about six months. Yes I felt guilty and a big part of that was because some of my family and friends were telling me to pull myself up by my bootstraps and get back to work. They told me I didn't need all those medications and I should fire my doctor. I didn't "look" sick.

I was unsure. I thought maybe my psychiatrist had exaggerated my mental illness to "help me out" so I wouldn't have to work. I wasn't sure if I even had bipolar though I knew I had PTSD. It was not until I was in an outpatient therapy group in 2006 that I accepted that I really was bipolar and I really was disabled.

Things change. Sometimes they get better and sometimes they get worse. Nobody has a crystal ball. I hope that I can go back to work at least part time at some point.

Try to accept that you have a right to disability now and perhaps at some point you will no longer need it but it is there while you do.

[youngm357]

At first I felt pretty guilty and worthless. Now I don't give a rip! When people ask me what I do I tell them I am retired or a house husband or whatever. I found that people do not think of me as often as I do. I try no to think less of myself rather think of myself less often.

[WendyAussie]

Funny that you say that youngm, I am going back to study this year and I look forward to, when meeting new people, saying, when they say "what do you do?" I can say, "I'm studying right now". Not, "I am on a Disability Pension" - firstly because of judgment - and it does come, but also because since I lost my career three years ago I HAVE felt like Human Flotsam and Jetsom. I find it hard to find a place in the world. How do I define myself now after I had been a career success for 14 years, had three qualifications under my belt for that career, had a house which I lost etc? As well as losing family and friends through it all too.

I know that what we learn in therapy, for me in AA (longtime sober member) and in spiritual contexts is that we shouldn't be defined about what we do or do not have, what we are doing or not doing. But those statements are so easy for people to trot out and very difficult to live fully. I think it would take Christ and Buddha to live them fully and I ain't either of those. LOL

But I really do want to keep moving forward on a continuum of valuing my inner strengths and values over extrernals. I do that through AA and also through ACT and Mindfullness which is a fantastic therapeutic structure to deal with all this.

[Moose72]

Some days I really think I need something like this. Some days mybrain os fried. Fried with mania or dissociation or paranoia or hearing voices... I'd sure love to get Ssdi if only for yhe fact that i could get my own place. I live with my mom and bwcause i didnt work she claimed me on taxes! Its a whole yuck situation. If i could havey own place i might have fewer issues. Dunno. This in itself is stressful!

[Anneinside]

Originally Posted by Moose72

Some days I really think I need something like this. Some days mybrain os fried. Fried with mania or dissociation or paranoia or hearing voices... I'd sure love to get Ssdi if only for yhe fact that i could get my own place. I live with my mom and bwcause i didnt work she claimed me on taxes! Its a whole yuck situation. If i could havey own place i might have fewer issues. Dunno. This in itself is stressful!

I know it is meaningless since it is done, but in the US, if you are 21 or older (except if you are a student) you can't be claimed on your parents' taxes.

[Moose72]

She said it was because i didnt work last year. I am well over 21

[Moose72]

Plus i live with het

[Anneinside]

I looked on turbo tax and found this about claiming an adult child:

"The Irs changed the definition of a qualifying child to these five steps a. the child must be a son, daughter, sibling, eligible foster child, stepbrother, stepsister or a descendant of any of them. The child must be under 19 or a full-time student under 24 or someone disabled of any age. The child must have lived with you for at least seven months or more. The child must not provide more than half of their support for the year. If the child can be claimed by more than one person, you must be the entitled person.
The qualifying relative has four steps that define this term. The person cannot be your or anyone else's qualifying child. The person must be a member of the household all year or a relative. You must provide more than half of the person's support for the year and the dependent must have earned less than $3200 for the year."

You might be eligible as a dependent IF you have been determined to be disabled but I don't know who or what agency would have had to make that determination. I looked into this out of curiosity, not b/c I am going to turn her in. LOL

[musikcrazy]

There is no need for you to feel guilty. Disability is there for a reason, and if you need it, you need it. Chin up!