Major BP Surge

I inherited BP and Panic Disorder from my father. It's always been mild. I was on Lamictal for a long time but developed the rash and have allergic reactions to everything else my pdoc has tried, so I'm on my own. This usually works out just fine if I pay close attention to how I'm feeling and think through it.

However, I recently lost my Mom and my uncle, who was like a father to me. They died within eight days of each other, my relatives started fighting and I entered a hell like I've never known.

Anger, racing thoughts and depression engulfed me. I can't even describe the enormity of the anger. I developed an ulcer literally within a week. I have colitis and wasn't able to keep any food in me for weeks. I ended up in the ER because I was so sick.

Just in this past week has any bit of normalcy returned to my life. I just wanted to tell all of you that deal with these things all the time that I don't know how you do it, and I am in awe of you. I am also terrified that it will happen to me again some day.

I think were all experiencing it like you are. Sometimes things are going okay, other times it can be a struggle to get through.

Its too bad no medications work for you. Have you tried omega 3 fish oil? Studies have shown people with depression do much better if they take it as opposed to placebo. For people with Bipolar it means your depression episodes would be less bad.

Sorry about losing your family members, that has to be very tough, even for those without mood problems.

Thank you so much Dave for writing and for mentioning it would be hard on someone without a mood disorder. I thought that, too, but just wasn't sure of myself. I've never known this kind of overwhelming grief before except when I was divorced, but it was completely different. \

I haven't tried Omega 3 oils, but I will mention it to my gastro Dr and see if he thinks I can tolerate it. I'm just out there on my own for now.

Again, thanks so much.

Jan

Jan I am so sorry this happened to you. I think as a rule we are the bravest people in the world..you definitely included.
My pharmacist actually was the most comforting person as she said that weekly new medications are coming out for bipolar.
I think that we are still in the dark ages where treatment is concerned. Self-management is the key medicated or not. I am sure you have much to offer us all.

Thank you so much, SunnyD. I have PTSD and it was set off, too and everything just whirled and whirled. It makes me afraid to just think of it.

Thank you for your very kind words. They are greatly appreciated.

You might also try Vitamin D. One of the nurses at the clinic I go to said that it can decrease depression... 1,000 - 2,000 UIs a day.

(((January))) So sorry for the loss and the turmoil in your life right now. I hope you are feeling better soon. Glad you reached out. Sending gentle hugs your way....

Thank you so much AnneInside. I will also ask my gastro about Vitamin D and see if he thinks I can tolerate it well. Thank you for your kind reply.

Jan

Thank you so much, Ruffy. I was really torn about posting about this. Yet, other members are so courageous in writing about their battles that I felt like I was not being fair in not writing about mine. I also was going to cheat myself out of great information and support if I just let it slide and I was right.

Thank you for posting to me.

Jan

I am so sorry for your loss. my deepest condolenses to you. Hope you start to feel better...

Thank you so much Kadesgirl. I appreciate it ever so much.

Jan

Firstly, I am sad for your losses - that is a huge weight of grief to deal with in a short period. Can I suggest that the rest of the family need to deal with their own issues, and this especially considering those terrible manifestations of stress and mental illness that landed you in hospital, that this is now YOUR TIME to look after yourself and maybe apply boundaries with family members. You may not be popular doing this, but if you are to move forward with both your physical and mental health, you need some freedom from the full-on family dynamics right now.

Thank you ever so much Wendy. Thank you for the condolences. You are spot on with your suggestions. I have had to walk away from it and tell myself that I can't allow it to matter so much.

When I get calls, the family member vents and then goes on his or her merry way and I am left sick as a dog from the stress. I can't let it happen anymore if I'm going to survive this.

I've been making it a point to listen to music and I'm spring cleaning at a gentle pace. It keeps me busy and makes me feel productive.

I also know that I'm not in a place to make any big decisions right now so I'm being careful.

Again, thank you so much for writing. I appreciate your kindness so much.

Jan