[lola1972]

hello everyone:
I was diagnosed bipolar many years ago.I was never a very social person,but I tried. I even performed as flute player and singer in a show. Everything is good as long as I dont have to interact with people.
Im afraid I will hurt every relationship because of my super high standars.I know Im far from perfect but,if someone lies to me ...well that triggers such a fury in me and I can be the meanest person in the world. They hurt me so I hurt them. and so on... The problem is that one way or another I always end up alone. I isolate myself from people,I dont have a partner, I dont have friends, only my close relatives.
I cannot make myself get dress and just go places and meet people. I have been doing good with my finances and obligations but i feel Im draggin myself everyday...I have to..I have to....because I have 8 year old twins that look up to me and ...well..the father is never around.I got divorced 3 years ago.
I cant wait to finish my "mission" and just rest! my family doesnt understand how I feel or why.
I hope i can find virtual friends that can actually understand how I feel.
hugs to all!

[Slothrop]

Welcome to PC! Yep, I know what you mean about dragging yourself through it...for me life is a responsibility/obligation right now, that's about it. Lots of families don't understand, it seems.

Hang out, talk, hopefully we can all feel a little better together...

[RRU96]

Welcome to PC ! This place is FULL of great people, and has a VERY helpful Bipolar forum as you will find out. While you may be struggling, know that you arent struggling alone. Many of us have had our own personal struggles with this Disorder, but we continue to make it.

In your post, I never saw you mention if you were currently being treated for your bipolar. Finding a good doc that you feel comfortable with is a great first step in taking care of yourself. I know you mentioned it had been many years since you were diagnosed. There may be other issues besides just the bipolar. Getting in with a good doc can help determine if there are any other underlying problems, and can get you on the path to that fantasy place every one talks about... I think they call it 'normal'

Take care of yourself and Welcome again to PC !

[grizmom]

I've isolated for many years as well, so I know how you feel. Are you seeing a pdoc or a T? If you are still having a lot of depression, maybe you can ask about a med adjustment?

Anyhow, welcome to PC. There are a lot of great people here who understand!!

[thinker22]

Welcome. When I joined the site last May or June, everyone was super supportive to me and kind in every way. We're all here for each other through the highs and lows.

I'm sorry you're dragging yourself through life right now. I feel the same way. I have obligations, but if I didn't I'd probably never leave the house. In fact, I wouldn't if the meds weren't making a dent on some of my symptoms.

You're not alone. Stay talking. It can be a huge relief to find out how many people are going through something similar and how they are managing it.

[musikcrazy]

Welcome! This is a great place to post your concerns and problems. Everyone is very supportive. I know that dragging feeling and it is not easy. I try to take one day at a time and just make it through that day. Posting here helps a lot and talking with a therapist. Take care and feel free to personal message me.

[lola1972]

Thank you for your replies! I feels good to find people that understand. I am on my meds, I have been going to my doctor. You can say Im stable now compared to the way I was before meds. But I feel it gets harder everyday! I was thinking of trying psycotherapy again,havent had much luck with it but, maybe this time Ill find the right person. thanks again for paying attention to me, I was telling to myself while writing my post " no one is going to care, you are writing to yourself" that little voice that makes me feel down. Im glad the "VOICE" was not right this time

[Eloise42]

I whine constantly about my three roommates prompting everyone to suggest/ask "why don't you just live alone?". I don't live alone because I want to. Because as much as they drive me up the wall I shudder to think of what would happen if I wasn't forced to interact with other people.

I just joined a week ago because of a new drug regiment but this place has helped me more than I ever thought possible. Someone has a quote about it being easier to help other people than yourself and that rings true for me.

There aren't a lot of us with this condition, I think it is less than 1%, but it is so helpful to me to know I'm not the only person who feels this way. Especially because the three other people I know in real life who are truly bipolar have all rejected treatment.

Come here. You may not relate to everything but some things people post are all too familiar, and in less than a week it has helped me.

[Amazonmom]

So much of your story is familiar to me. I am lucky in that I am still married, but I do have a child, and have a horrible time getting and maintaining any sort of social network. I have a job I love and that forces me to be interactive. My T thinks the PTSD makes my day to day life more difficult than the bipolar.

I am on Lithium for my bipolar but I think it keeps me a little bit depressed most of the time. I wish I could take Lamictal again! Glad to see you think the meds help.

HUGS and I hope this board is as helpful for you as it was for me!