[CindyLuWho]

I just read that rapid cycling means 4 or more shifts in a year. LOL! I can shift 4 or more times in an hour!!!

[Eloise42]

I am right there with you! Apparently my great-grandfather was exactly one "good day" and then one "bad day". He only took his lithium (this was twenty plus years ago) on his good days. On his bad days he said he "didn't need it". I don't know why but I have always found this an amusing anecdote.

[crystalrose]

It could also be that you are experiencing a mixed episode which is highs and lows at the same time. It can be very annoying and exhausting.

[Fresia]

Originally Posted by CindyLuWho

I just read that rapid cycling means 4 or more shifts in a year. LOL! I can shift 4 or more times in an hour!!!

I can definitely relate. I cycle several times in an hour, mixed episodes, very frustrating, and has been so difficult lately especially on my relationships. Meds have toned them down but near enough. It takes it toll. Now that I'm back in school after being a hermit for so long b/c of it, not sure exactly how to deal with it and with new people.

[meApe]

Originally Posted by crystalrose

It could also be that you are experiencing a mixed episode which is highs and lows at the same time. It can be very annoying and exhausting.

This seems the most plausible. I know its hard, but get plenty of rest, eat healthy, practice coping skills and that sort of thing. The only other advise is to make sure that you are posting here. Please keep us up to date. Sometimes mixed episode are the worst.

[sugahorse1]

I can relate. I do think the meds tone it down. You need to explain to your b/friend what you are going through, and he needs to cut you some slack when you act "irrationally". I continuously finding myself having to apologise - but if my b/f were to get into a fight with me every time I over-react, we'd be a disaster.

MeApe - you mention "coping skills". Do you have any literature or resources for this? Or is something you specifically work on with your T? I definitely need some help in this department, cos my coping skills are non-existent, and when I'm down I just question my purpose of being

[The Crazy Rambler]

Hi Sugahorse,

I am learning coping skills from my T. We are together challenging my thinking patterns and hold them to the light: are they really true or not? How do I adjust them? What can I do?
I find it hard work, cuz a lot of them go back to my childhood (I am 41 now) and are interpretations of traumatic experiences. As a child you don't have the skope to oversee situations, traumatic or not, so you make your own beliefs and interpretations. Later in life we then respond according to what we believe, without being conscious of what that belief actually is. And without knowing if it is actually true. Or maybe it was true then, but not anymore, yet we continue to respond out of habit, unsconsciously. There is so much to it. Also we as BP have a different way of thinking and experiencing. Things 'come in' in a different way and are processed differently. So it is quite messy. But the work is worth it!
If you don't already have a T who is experienced in working with BP's, if at ll possible I suggest you find one. If you have one, how is it working for you?

[sugahorse1]

I don't currently have a T. I was given a number from my pdoc for someone she knows and suggested, but effectively left it up to me to make the final call. That was nearly 2 weeks ago. I'm not sure if this psychologist is trained especially for BP or what her area of expertise it.

Right now I feel I'm in a neutral state, and like this I find it hard to motivate myself to call a doctor - I effectively feel I'm coping and right now don't have the need to ask for help. Yet when I come crashing down I clutch at straws for help. Guess I am my own worst enemy.

I would really just like to have a certain routine, maybe a mantra I can read, certain music to listen to, other types of exercise.... anything to help me cope when I'm down and feel like ODing and getting into bed, or when I'm entering a hypmanic phase and getting ridiculously snappy.

[Skully]

Originally Posted by CindyLuWho

I just read that rapid cycling means 4 or more shifts in a year. LOL! I can shift 4 or more times in an hour!!!

You said exactly what was on my mind when I read the heading on this thread!!!

[The Crazy Rambler]

[quote=sugahorse;1365723]I don't currently have a T. I was given a number from my pdoc for someone she knows and suggested, but effectively left it up to me to make the final call. That was nearly 2 weeks ago. I'm not sure if this psychologist is trained especially for BP or what her area of expertise it.
that is good, since it's your choice to do so or not. But if your pdoc knows the T, that might be a good thing. They can work together as a team to help you.

Right now I feel I'm in a neutral state, and like this I find it hard to motivate myself to call a doctor - I effectively feel I'm coping and right now don't have the need to ask for help. Yet when I come crashing down I clutch at straws for help. Guess I am my own worst enemy.
Aren't we all? At least, I do recognize that! On the other hand, nowyou are neutral, it might be the best time to get to know your T and build a trust relationship, which will help you in the difficult times...

I would really just like to have a certain routine, maybe a mantra I can read, certain music to listen to, other types of exercise.... anything to help me cope when I'm down and feel like ODing and getting into bed, or when I'm entering a hypmanic phase and getting ridiculously snappy.
I find it hard to keep a routine in the best of times, but they totally fly out of the window when one of my episodes start. In actual fact, that is the first sign that an episode is coming on. Again, though, it is something you can work on with a T. Maybe it's worth it to make an appointment?

All the best! I am interested to hear how you are doing, so keep posting!!

[WendyAussie]

Cindy, when I had rapid cycling for years, it was more like you than the "4 times a year" variety. And someone else mentioned Mixed States, and I had those too, then with the Hypomania/mania, suicidal Bipolar Major Depression, psychosis of sorts and then the obligatory panic and anxiety which I've noticed is common to every Bipolar patient I have communicated with, no wonder we have lifelong functionality problems, suicide etc.

I was profoundly mis-medicated for years and it exacerbated all the above symptoms, I lost everything in my life and ultimately nearly died at my own hand. But after finding a new psych in a new town who discovered the class of meds I was on was killing me, I have progressively continued to allow myself to be a guineau pig and have hit the right mix of meds. And the Rapid Cycling and Mixed States, Hypomania and Mania are largely no more. I struggle now most with the Bipolar major depression, but Lamictal is even helping with that. And of course not being hypomanic or manic lessens those plunges down into Bipolar Major Depression too.

I wanted to tell you that so you know that is it possible to transition from those major symptoms. I still can't work, but I have started part time study and as of today X fingers) it's going OK.

[musikcrazy]

I think you would find meeting with a T to be helpful. My T is like my lifeline when I crash. Sometimes it takes time to find the right one, so go with an open mind and feel the T out. If you are not comfortable, move on to someone else until you find the right one. Good luck!

[sugahorse1]

Thanks all. I am quite lucky in that my p-doc does take her time to listen to me. When I meet with her, we discuss my emotions, what things are happening in my life and therefore could impact me. She looks at the bigger picture before decided if changing my meds is really necessary, or if I am in a position that would also stress a "normal" person.

I can phone her whenever and say: Help, I'm about to come crashing down, I'm worried about getting through the weekend... blah blah blah. But I do often long to have someone to just talk to; who I can be totally open with, and maybe reach a stage where I can just let it all go and allow the tears to flow. I find I've been battling to allow myself to cry since I've been on these mood stabilisers. Maybe even slightly before then. I feel I just need to let loose, but cannot. The last time I "could" cry, was when I was in excruciating pain due to a migraine, or when I was put under such huge stress I couldn't cope (I actually felt stupid that day - my b/f was just asking me to phone the lady that owns the farm to tell her we'd shortly be there to visit our horses - I'm not afraid of her... )) I just couldn't cope.

This weekend I think I experienced mania. Started about Thursday (got to bed at 1AM, and had to be up at 6:30AM for work), Friday we met up with friends and had a few drinks and I was still in a great mood and partying at 1AM (I usually need my 10 hours of sleep). I had to take a sleeping tablet to fall asleep. Saturday night I couldn't fall asleep, and eventually climbed out of bed to get a sleeping tablet. Last night I just took one the minute I got into bed. I have however been a bit snappy, arguementative and loud, and Saturday I decided to go shopping - so bought 2 pairs of shoes.
Friday I acted impulsively, and decided to buy a pet chameleon!! SO Saturday I had to buy him all his odds and ends.

Yesterday I tried to study for an exam, but hardly could concentrate and eventually gave up. Today (especially as it is monday) I'm in a fair mood, but can feel slight anxiety starting. And I'm beginning to feel clingy.

[WendyAussie]

sugarhorse, I totally relate about the inability to cry when on meds. It's so frustrating when the very thing I need to do to get emotional release is smothered by meds. It's silly but the only thing that will get me to cry, and this is very infrequently is sad movie - but when that happens the floodgates open - but it's good.