[Special-K]

Hi, my therapist suggested I get online support. So here I am. I very much relate to the manic side of bipolar than the depressed side. At least at this point in my life.
I am Mom to a 15 month old, this is my first child. I am finding myself so overwhelmed being her Mom, working full-time & having a pretty hard commute. I am triggered all day long & it is difficult for my husband. Our relationship has taken a serious hit since having a child. I am wearing so many hats I seemed to have lost the one I wear when I am a wife. I guess I set that aside first to be everything else & now I'm just a mess. I am the breadwinner & the finance department as well for our house. My husband pretty much just goes to work & does what I tell him. I have to control everything.
I also moved out of state after my father died 5 years ago & I regret my decision. I miss my family & friends & want to move home. But now I am stuck, with a child & a marriage in a home that is on the brink of foreclosure.

All this stress doesn't sit with a bipolar well. I wish little things didn't bother me so much, I wish I could slow down my mind. I am 31, I am quite tired of this.

I hope my introduction isn't too long! I hope to find others on here to relate to. Thanks for reading my post

[sugahorse1]

WELCOME!
Are you taking meds to stabilise yourself? BP is something, the most important thing right now, that you need to take control of. Else the rest of your efforts are fruitless.
Get help - mania can be dangerous if not controlled

[musikcrazy]

Special K
I definitely get where you are coming from. I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder after the birth of my first child and those first two years were hell. I struggled so much and then I would feel guilty about feeling the way I did. Some ideas I have is that you try and find time to excercise. Excercise made a huge difference for me. I work full time as well and it is hard to fit it in, but I cannot tell you enough what a difference it made for me. It is hard to get it in, but even if you have to do a thirty minute DVD after your baby has gone to bed it will make a difference. Second, I would try listening to some relaxing CD's in the car. There are CD's with deep breathing excercises that you could do on your commute. As far as your relationship with your hubbie, I so get you! We are still struggling (my daughter is four) and the best thing we have found is to make sure that we spend some time together apart from our daughter. It is difficult to fit in to our already busy schedules, but it does help. We also go to marriage counseling once a month and it has helped. Things definitely aren't perfect, but they are better. Is it possible for you to get your husband to take over the finances? That's a lot for you to handle with your job. You can do this! Keep posting and feel free to personal message me. Take care!

Hello, and welcome to PC! I hope you find support and understanding here.

[Special-K]

Originally Posted by sugahorse

WELCOME!
Are you taking meds to stabilise yourself? BP is something, the most important thing right now, that you need to take control of. Else the rest of your efforts are fruitless.
Get help - mania can be dangerous if not controlled

Yes I take Lithium.

[Special-K]

Originally Posted by musikcrazy

Special K
I definitely get where you are coming from. I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder after the birth of my first child and those first two years were hell. I struggled so much and then I would feel guilty about feeling the way I did. Some ideas I have is that you try and find time to excercise. Excercise made a huge difference for me. I work full time as well and it is hard to fit it in, but I cannot tell you enough what a difference it made for me. It is hard to get it in, but even if you have to do a thirty minute DVD after your baby has gone to bed it will make a difference. Second, I would try listening to some relaxing CD's in the car. There are CD's with deep breathing excercises that you could do on your commute. As far as your relationship with your hubbie, I so get you! We are still struggling (my daughter is four) and the best thing we have found is to make sure that we spend some time together apart from our daughter. It is difficult to fit in to our already busy schedules, but it does help. We also go to marriage counseling once a month and it has helped. Things definitely aren't perfect, but they are better. Is it possible for you to get your husband to take over the finances? That's a lot for you to handle with your job. You can do this! Keep posting and feel free to personal message me. Take care!

Thank you so much for your ideas! I really appreciate it. I agree, we need to spend time apart from our daughter. I think the biggest reason this doesn't happen is with my commute I literally see her about 10-15 hours a week & I never want to exchange a moment with her for anything. But this is our marriage so I will make more of an effort.
I am trying to hard to exercise! I do have a 20 minute video I love, but at the end of the day I am too exhausted. I don't get to bed till 9 or 10 & I'm wiped out. I tried getting up at 5:30am to do it! I couldn't really get through the video, my muscles were all tight because i wasn't awake enough yet. I want to jog/run but in Washington the weather SUCKS & summer is approaching so I'm hoping to really get on that soon here! I've even brought my work out clothes to work to use my lunch break but it is hard to come back to work all sweaty...
There is no way for my husband to take over the finances. He's just not responsible enough. He can't remember anything I don't trust bills would be paid timely.
I will explore the music idea! I do breath a lot in traffic when I'm frustrated. I have trouble doing things like meditation because I have so much energy I struggle to get through it with out becoming frustrated. I really don't have much patience. I am always working on this.
Thanks for your ideas again! So far I'm finding this forum to be super!

[Special-K]

Originally Posted by sugahorse

WELCOME!
Are you taking meds to stabilise yourself? BP is something, the most important thing right now, that you need to take control of. Else the rest of your efforts are fruitless.
Get help - mania can be dangerous if not controlled

Yes I am on lithium

[Special-K]

Originally Posted by musikcrazy

Special K
I definitely get where you are coming from. I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder after the birth of my first child and those first two years were hell. I struggled so much and then I would feel guilty about feeling the way I did. Some ideas I have is that you try and find time to excercise. Excercise made a huge difference for me. I work full time as well and it is hard to fit it in, but I cannot tell you enough what a difference it made for me. It is hard to get it in, but even if you have to do a thirty minute DVD after your baby has gone to bed it will make a difference. Second, I would try listening to some relaxing CD's in the car. There are CD's with deep breathing excercises that you could do on your commute. As far as your relationship with your hubbie, I so get you! We are still struggling (my daughter is four) and the best thing we have found is to make sure that we spend some time together apart from our daughter. It is difficult to fit in to our already busy schedules, but it does help. We also go to marriage counseling once a month and it has helped. Things definitely aren't perfect, but they are better. Is it possible for you to get your husband to take over the finances? That's a lot for you to handle with your job. You can do this! Keep posting and feel free to personal message me. Take care!

I did the best reply to this & it was when my membership was still approving all my posts. Then I posted & saw the pending was gone but my reply to you is apparently still in limbo & will probably show up tomorrow.

[kadesgirl09]

welcome! Sorry things are so crazy for you right now! My husband and I have date night once or twice a month where we get several people to watch our kids (we have three rambunctious boys) and we go out alone. Or sometimes every so often we will just lock ourselves in our room with movies and food. I really feel for you having to do the finances. THANK GOODNESS my hubby does mine. Anyways, wishing you some calm moments in your life.

[Special-K]

Originally Posted by musikcrazy

Special K
I definitely get where you are coming from. I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder after the birth of my first child and those first two years were hell. I struggled so much and then I would feel guilty about feeling the way I did. Some ideas I have is that you try and find time to excercise. Excercise made a huge difference for me. I work full time as well and it is hard to fit it in, but I cannot tell you enough what a difference it made for me. It is hard to get it in, but even if you have to do a thirty minute DVD after your baby has gone to bed it will make a difference. Second, I would try listening to some relaxing CD's in the car. There are CD's with deep breathing excercises that you could do on your commute. As far as your relationship with your hubbie, I so get you! We are still struggling (my daughter is four) and the best thing we have found is to make sure that we spend some time together apart from our daughter. It is difficult to fit in to our already busy schedules, but it does help. We also go to marriage counseling once a month and it has helped. Things definitely aren't perfect, but they are better. Is it possible for you to get your husband to take over the finances? That's a lot for you to handle with your job. You can do this! Keep posting and feel free to personal message me. Take care!

I'll just reply again. I have nothing better to do. I want to exercise I do, I have no time. I tried getting up at 5:30am for a while to do my video but I was too exhausted & my muscles were all stiff. When I get home by the time my 1 year old goes to bed I am too tired to try. I don't get a break all day I just don't have the energy to work out at the end of the day. I would like to start jogging when it gets warm here in WA, its still pretty much winter. I'm from Southern California. BIG MISTAKE moving here.
It was an impulsive decision, thank you bipolar disorder! Now I am trapped here.
I'm open to the music in the car, I'll try. I tend to have so much energy it is actually frustrating for me to be calm. It takes mass efforts. This is why meditating is very hard for me. I literally can't stand to breath in & out over & over. I'm like are we done yet.
Our relationship needs that alone time. Since I commute just as much as I see my child awake I never want to sacrafice any of my time with her to do anything. Maybe thought once or twice a month won't kill me.
My husband can't take over the finances. He can't remember anything, I don't trust him to pay the bills on time. I forwarded him the budget when I told him I wanted him more involved & it took him weeks to look at it.

Thank you so much for your ideas! I'll check out what I can.

[Amandas256]

Originally Posted by Special-K

I'll just reply again. I have nothing better to do. I want to exercise I do, I have no time. I tried getting up at 5:30am for a while to do my video but I was too exhausted & my muscles were all stiff. When I get home by the time my 1 year old goes to bed I am too tired to try. I don't get a break all day I just don't have the energy to work out at the end of the day. I would like to start jogging when it gets warm here in WA, its still pretty much winter. I'm from Southern California. BIG MISTAKE moving here.
It was an impulsive decision, thank you bipolar disorder! Now I am trapped here.
I'm open to the music in the car, I'll try. I tend to have so much energy it is actually frustrating for me to be calm. It takes mass efforts. This is why meditating is very hard for me. I literally can't stand to breath in & out over & over. I'm like are we done yet.
Our relationship needs that alone time. Since I commute just as much as I see my child awake I never want to sacrafice any of my time with her to do anything. Maybe thought once or twice a month won't kill me.
My husband can't take over the finances. He can't remember anything, I don't trust him to pay the bills on time. I forwarded him the budget when I told him I wanted him more involved & it took him weeks to look at it.

Thank you so much for your ideas! I'll check out what I can.

I'm sorry you are going through this. I know it's really hard on you. Being Manic requires you to get rid of some energy. Sitting quietly and meditating would be a nightmare! You need to find a way to burn up some of your energy. It doesn't have to be exercise. Exercise does help me though. Find a way to spend time with your daughter and burn up some energy at the same time. I can't imagine having to keep up with finances! My husband has to do it because I'm the one who forgets to pay a bill or I will go out and spend ungodly amounts of money and get us in financial trouble which is a dominoe effect as it also damages my marriage. Good Luck to you and I'm here if you ever need to talk!

[Special-K]

Originally Posted by Amandas256

I'm sorry you are going through this. I know it's really hard on you. Being Manic requires you to get rid of some energy. Sitting quietly and meditating would be a nightmare! You need to find a way to burn up some of your energy. It doesn't have to be exercise. Exercise does help me though. Find a way to spend time with your daughter and burn up some energy at the same time. I can't imagine having to keep up with finances! My husband has to do it because I'm the one who forgets to pay a bill or I will go out and spend ungodly amounts of money and get us in financial trouble which is a dominoe effect as it also damages my marriage. Good Luck to you and I'm here if you ever need to talk!

I listened to only relaxing music on my way home yesterday & it was nice!!! THank you for that idea!