Stress

There is so much going on right now and I feel like I am seeing it all from the outside.

My sons start school on Tuesday, Sports start for my oldest, my ex-mother in law is dying of cancer, an old friend of mine is also in intensive care with cancer, and my grandmother is not feeling well.

Why does all this stuff happen at once?

I'm not sure why big things all gang up on us at once. I do know that you are a strong person and can make it through.

That sounds terrible. So sorry to hear you are facing so much right now. We're all here for you though. Try to only deal with one thing at a time. Like if you're visiting one sick friend or relative, don't focus on the others you are worried about too. Easier said than done, of course. Take time to care for yourself. Have a cup of tea. Watch something funny on TV or your favorite program. Escape with a beach novel. I know the pain of knowing those you love are suffering is hard to take. Don't beat up on yourself for worrying about them. Just remember that you can't help them if you don't take care of yourself first.

I went out for a little while with my family to a local park to fly a kite which was pleasant. I just sort of sat there and got some sun.

Now I am having a glass of wine, which may or may not be a good idea depending on what my meds decide to do, but I already feel more relaxed. It feels better than when I used to take a benzo.

I find that certain times are just more stressful than others--for example, the beginning of school is tough for everybody. I sure saw a lot of stressed-out parents trying to find the school supplies they needed for their kids last week. There's a "stress scale" designed by Holmes and Rahe, in which they list different situations and give a point value for stress for each one. "Christmas" scores as a stressful time, for example.

I think once school gets under way, and things settle down a bit, then life will get better. I know what you mean about the other stressors, though. I have a good friend with cancer, who has decided against treatment; a mother-in-law with dementia; a son who was just diagnosed with ADD; etc.

Hang in there! We will get a brief break from stress every so often!

Well, I got a massive headache last night. It was so bad that I nearly went to the ER. Finally my Ibuprofen kicked in and I fell asleep around 2 a.m. I slept 11 hours. I am still draggy today, and feeling scared about tomorrow.(the start of school and all of my related responsibilities)

I wonder if there is a yoga class at the Y. I could use some relaxation and exercise.

Un-freakin-believable! Now my grandmother is in one ER for her stomach, and my father in law is on his way to another ER with possible heart pain.

What is going on!!!??

I hope they both recover quickly.

Me too. I hope neither of them has a serious thing going on. I just hope it is because it is a long weekend and that they can't get to their regular doctors that they were told to go to the ER.

healing vibes coming your way for you and for your family

I just wish I could do something about it. I want to solve the problems but they are completely out of my control.

I guess this is where I have to practice my Radical Acceptance from DBT. It is what it is. It is what it is. It is what it is.

When you feel so powerless like this, try to focus on the ways that you can help - it may not seem like much, but sitting with them, being someone they can talk to or small gestures like bring them a book or music while they wait at hospital or cooking them a meal when they get home makes a HUGE difference to how they feel. How we feel is so much more important that whatever happens. To be loved, even when things are terrible, is an amazing gift.

Now my ex-mother in law in back in the hospital.

She lives far away, and so does my childhood friend. I can do nothing but send them notes.

For the others, I can do those small things.

My husband is stressed out too, and I just asked him a question and he yelled at me. I hate this.

i'm sorry to hear yr going through all of this. I wish there was something i could do take make it all disappear.
Hang in there- once you've got thro it, you'll be damn proud of yourself!
I know you can do it

So sorry there is so much to deal with right now. We're here for you.

My ex mother in law passed away this morning.

So sorry to hear that. I hope she wasn't in any pain.

My chest hurts. I have to pick up my son from school later and break the news that his grandmother is gone.

Thank you. My son is sad, but doing OK. He is 8, so I didn't expect a huge reaction. I am sure his grief will come out in other ways at this age.

My father in law is going home from the hospital today. it wasn't a heart attack, but they don't know what it was. My grndmother is still sick, but she is at home. she has to follow up with a gastroenterologist. There is no news about my childhood friend.

and a few more...

BNLsMOM!!! That is so much at the same time. You have a good idea there with the DBT radical acceptance! I've not gone through the course, but am familiar with that part from others talking about it. "It is what it is". One of my favorite sayings, btw. It's so true. Channeling your energies into those small but meaningful things that are do-able is an excellent idea. Wishing you peace and strength.