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#1
Oct 24, 2010, 03:57 AM
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Friday I was hypomanic. Saturday morning I woke up a bit indifferent, but then lost the plot. I was so emotional, took every thing my bf said to heart and couldn't stop crying - whats the story? I don't feel genuinely depressed, but I am emotional and fragile. Been sleeping 11 hours at night. When I feel so otherwise, I often had sui ideations. It's just not a life i feel like living...
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"I'd rather attempt to do something great and fail than to attempt to do nothing and succeed. Robert H. Schuller" Current dx: Bipolar Disorder Unspecified Current Meds: Epitec (Lamotrigine) 300mg, Solian 50mg, Seroquel 25mg PRN, Metformin 500mg, Klonopin prn |
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#2
Oct 24, 2010, 11:09 AM
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Aww, hon, it sounds like your body is strung up and wired and taking everything way more seriously than your head is right now. Could be anxiety under the surface. I'm kind of like that right now. Went to church and ended up bawlingthrough the first half. My son tactfully just ignored it. Feel good now, but I notice my pulse rate and respiration is way up. This happens when I cycle, and I can be all over the place, not just glad or depressed. Volattile is a good word. Hang in there. Remember, this is all just in you right now. Not fun, but not a picture of the outer reality. It will pass. If you say it, I'll say it, and maybe we'll both believe it.
 HUGGGGGGSSSSSSS
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#3
Oct 24, 2010, 11:30 AM
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Volatile...I like that word. Explains a lot...
__________________
"Better not look down, if you want to keep on flying Put the hammer down, keep it full speed ahead Better not look back, or you might just wind up crying You can keep it moving, if you don't look down" - B.B. King Come join the BP Social Society on Psych Central Everyone is Welcome! |
 lonegael
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#4
Oct 24, 2010, 11:46 AM
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sugahorse; I'm sorry you are feeling this way and I'm not trying to minimize the issue because it could definitely be a chemical issue, but I also was wondering if you track your menstrual cycle at all? I find PMS can wreak havoc on my moods.
Have you been able to get in to see your Psychiatrist recently?
__________________
Favorite book on bipolar "Living with Someone who is Living with Bipolar Disorder" by Chelsea Lowe, 2010 Check out my blog The Bipolar Roller Coaster: http://blueoctober.psychcentral.net/ New Post March 23 "New Therapist" |
| larakeziah, lonegael
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#5
Oct 24, 2010, 06:06 PM
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 I feel so powerless being so far away, I want to give you a real hug! There's not much to say in these situations, except to lend you an ear if you want to pour out your heart! I hope these emotions pay yo only a fleeting visit... I'll send the fairy of happiness in the mail, just don't know when it will reach you cause you know our postal system... someone will probably hijack her and take all her magic powder! (Where am I going with this????!!!) Sending you warm thoughts (not in the mail ) and hoping that you keep safe.Pix
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#6
Oct 24, 2010, 08:39 PM
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sleep..... its the only thing that helps me when I get so volatile emotionally. It is so exhausting. Also wake up and get up in the morning. do something fun like go to a cafe just to get out of the house. don't have unrealistic expectations, you need to take it easy and give yourself time to recover.... Just some ideas that sometimes help me 
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 I can do all things through him who gives me strength
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| lonegael
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#7
Oct 25, 2010, 02:21 AM
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Thanks guys. I've slept 11 hours or so at night time, and climed back into bed at lunch time. Also took a drive to the books store and did grocery shopping on Sat. Sunday I went to see my horse, But again slept 2 hours at lunch.
I've been taking Clonazepam to numb myself out and not take things personally. Today I feel tired, but neutral. Blue - this weekend I was at the end of my cycle - I'm not sure whare the PMS part is supposed to come into play, but I'm sure it's just before you come on...? Haven't been able to see pdoc, she's been booked full. And I haven't made much of an effort to set up an app. Seeing a T only helps so much, and on Friday I was hypomanic, so the session was really different - but not bad. Saturday I was really going through sui ideations. I told my bf I would have been better off in hospital, because I actually don't know where my breaking point is, and if I can stop myself when it happens. Now he goes away Wed-Sun too, so I'm on my own - recipe for disaster. At least I see my T on Friday. I hat burdening you guys with my volatile moods - i hate being all over the place, I hate being so unproductive... And my appetite has suddenly disappeared, unless i force myself to eat, and then try make sure it is starch. But have lost +- 3 kg in 1 month. Hello; I'm now borderline underweight on the BMI scale and that scares me. And sleeping 11 hours or so a night...
__________________
"I'd rather attempt to do something great and fail than to attempt to do nothing and succeed. Robert H. Schuller" Current dx: Bipolar Disorder Unspecified Current Meds: Epitec (Lamotrigine) 300mg, Solian 50mg, Seroquel 25mg PRN, Metformin 500mg, Klonopin prn Last edited by sugahorse1; Oct 25, 2010 at 02:23 AM. Reason: adding stuff |
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#8
Oct 25, 2010, 02:43 AM
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Dear, speaking for myself, I'm not burdened by your moods. My moods, now that's different, but your moods are your monkey on your back. Otherwise I wouldn't have the energy to write to you
 Don't worry about it. Keep us posted, OK? Is there anyone you can go to coffee with or something you can fill the time with? like pack the schedule with fun and nonstressfull stuff outside of work while BF is gone? I used to hate the summers when my hubby would go to Swden iand i would be stuck working at some program in LA. Hang in there and post! HUGGGGSSSSS!
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#9
Oct 25, 2010, 04:28 AM
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I want to run away from my office right now and go see my horse - the only thing that still vaguely matters in my life...
I am in such a mixed episode, snapping at everyone and getting nothing done. Oh, and did I mention how emotional I was???
__________________
"I'd rather attempt to do something great and fail than to attempt to do nothing and succeed. Robert H. Schuller" Current dx: Bipolar Disorder Unspecified Current Meds: Epitec (Lamotrigine) 300mg, Solian 50mg, Seroquel 25mg PRN, Metformin 500mg, Klonopin prn |
| lonegael
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#10
Oct 25, 2010, 04:40 AM
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Thinking of you my friend!!!
__________________
 DXD BP1, BPD & OCPD  "The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists in tact, is to realise, two out of three aint bad" FOB...
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#11
Oct 25, 2010, 04:51 AM
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thanks Trippin - got yr text last night; my bf nearly had a heart attack. But it meant a lot to me.
I'm so over everything. Trying to hold too many things together; a job, PA to my boyfriend, mom to a horse, time for myself, spouse to my boyfriend... studying part-time. There's just too much
__________________
"I'd rather attempt to do something great and fail than to attempt to do nothing and succeed. Robert H. Schuller" Current dx: Bipolar Disorder Unspecified Current Meds: Epitec (Lamotrigine) 300mg, Solian 50mg, Seroquel 25mg PRN, Metformin 500mg, Klonopin prn |
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#12
Oct 25, 2010, 05:07 AM
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Suga
Sometimes we cannot juggle everything at once, and that's OK, sometimes we need to let one of our balls drop, in order to be able to keep juggling. and NO It doesn't make you weaker, it just makes you smarter... Please think about momentarily dropping a ball if that's what you need to do to stabilize... XOXO PS. I'm not sure if your bf had a HA b/c of my text...if so I'm SORRY, maybe you should educate me on safe texting? Maybe I've got that cat by the tail, IDK... Hope you feel better soon tho ♥
__________________
DXD BP1, BPD & OCPD "The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists in tact, is to realise, two out of three aint bad" FOB...
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#13
Oct 25, 2010, 05:37 AM
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Trippin - during office hours it's a lot easier for me to receive text messages - but I really appreciated yours - thanks....
__________________
"I'd rather attempt to do something great and fail than to attempt to do nothing and succeed. Robert H. Schuller" Current dx: Bipolar Disorder Unspecified Current Meds: Epitec (Lamotrigine) 300mg, Solian 50mg, Seroquel 25mg PRN, Metformin 500mg, Klonopin prn |
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#14
Oct 25, 2010, 05:39 AM
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Noted, and filed for future reference
__________________
DXD BP1, BPD & OCPD "The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists in tact, is to realise, two out of three aint bad" FOB...
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| sugahorse1
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#15
Oct 25, 2010, 05:48 AM
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i still feel kak, everything is triggering and I'm a lekker bit$h today. hate it
__________________
"I'd rather attempt to do something great and fail than to attempt to do nothing and succeed. Robert H. Schuller" Current dx: Bipolar Disorder Unspecified Current Meds: Epitec (Lamotrigine) 300mg, Solian 50mg, Seroquel 25mg PRN, Metformin 500mg, Klonopin prn |
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#16
Oct 25, 2010, 05:52 AM
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eish, so sorry you're having a kak day, I hope it gets better soon...
try to distance yourself as much as possible from others so you don't trip on them, only make contact when needed... I'm here if you need to vent.XOXO
__________________
DXD BP1, BPD & OCPD "The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists in tact, is to realise, two out of three aint bad" FOB...
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#17
Oct 25, 2010, 05:58 AM
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I'm hiding behind my iPod and PC screen, trying to hide my emotions; and not break down into tears.
I'm running out of strength and I hate it. It's easy to let your logical self tell you to stay positive. But the illness tends to get the better of me...
__________________
"I'd rather attempt to do something great and fail than to attempt to do nothing and succeed. Robert H. Schuller" Current dx: Bipolar Disorder Unspecified Current Meds: Epitec (Lamotrigine) 300mg, Solian 50mg, Seroquel 25mg PRN, Metformin 500mg, Klonopin prn |
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#18
Oct 25, 2010, 06:03 AM
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Just a hig to get you through the kak day... (that doesn't get censored!)
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#19
Oct 25, 2010, 06:03 AM
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I know what you mean hun, you don't have to explain
that's why i'm giving you instructions, they're easier to follow at these times... did anything trigger this, or is it just your emotions causing a whirlwind? Please PLEASE try and avoid any and all triggers... HUGZZ
__________________
DXD BP1, BPD & OCPD "The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists in tact, is to realise, two out of three aint bad" FOB...
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#20
Oct 25, 2010, 07:30 AM
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(((sugahorse)))
sending some positive energy your way. Hope you feel better.
__________________
Glory to heroes!
HATEFREE CULTURE |
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#21
Oct 25, 2010, 08:41 AM
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Thanks,
no triggers, which is why I'm battling so much. And now fighting with Medical Aid/Insurance to cover my T visits... The stupid lady tells me she's not sure the system picked up the ICD code as something that has to be covered as a PMB (Prescribed Minimum Benefit) which government has compiled a law for, that all expenses around BP need to be covered. Now i Need to delve into the Acts and other legalities to form a case...!!!!!
__________________
"I'd rather attempt to do something great and fail than to attempt to do nothing and succeed. Robert H. Schuller" Current dx: Bipolar Disorder Unspecified Current Meds: Epitec (Lamotrigine) 300mg, Solian 50mg, Seroquel 25mg PRN, Metformin 500mg, Klonopin prn |
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#22
Oct 25, 2010, 08:45 AM
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OMW, sending positivity your way....
__________________
DXD BP1, BPD & OCPD "The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists in tact, is to realise, two out of three aint bad" FOB...
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#23
Oct 25, 2010, 10:06 AM
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Quote:
. I'm sorry you couldn't get in to see your pdoc. Will your pdoc fax a prescription change to the pharmacy?
__________________
Favorite book on bipolar "Living with Someone who is Living with Bipolar Disorder" by Chelsea Lowe, 2010 Check out my blog The Bipolar Roller Coaster: http://blueoctober.psychcentral.net/ New Post March 23 "New Therapist" |
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#24
Oct 25, 2010, 12:53 PM
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Talk about kak. That's not helping the manure situation any, is it? I hate insuarance red tape.... Mch luck to you and if you can, go down to you horrse, lean over his back and just breath with him, smell his smell, let him calm you... huggs suga. Hang in there.
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#25
Oct 25, 2010, 02:16 PM
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Quote:
__________________
"Better not look down, if you want to keep on flying Put the hammer down, keep it full speed ahead Better not look back, or you might just wind up crying You can keep it moving, if you don't look down" - B.B. King Come join the BP Social Society on Psych Central Everyone is Welcome! |
| lonegael
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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