Paranoia stinks

I heard some noises in the kitchen and basement a little while ago. I am pretty sure it was my cat jumping on things. My dog heard them too because he popped his head up.

I can't shake the feeling that someone got into the house and is down in the basement waiting for just the right moment...

I know it is paranoid so I haven't gone down to check the basement, besides I am too afraid to. Mostly because I know that there is no one down there and I will be giving in to the paranoia if I go down there.

Are you alone in the house at the moment?

I so know these feelings. I cannot stand being at the family's house alone, because of the noises.

I was alone, but my parents picked up my son from preschool and now we are together. My dog is spazzing out, and trying to go out even though I have had him out several times for about 20 or so minutes. He won't stay outside without me without barking continually. There is a weird energy in the air (full blue moon was yesterday, I think)

Ok, I just heard something knocking on the floor. I think it was my son's shoe on the floor, but with him being a three year old, I can't get a straight answer if it was him or not. It could have been someone knocking from below. My dog had no reaction to it, so it is either something normal about the house, or was my son, or a hallucination. I think I am going downstairs with a big knife, just to check things out. (and the telephone)

I know it is ridiculous to be thinking this way and I am trying to crowd it out with positive thoughts. It has taken a strong hold in the back of my mind.

All clear. Seroquel PRN here I come.

glad all is well.

It is getting dark outside. Generally, I am not afraid of the dark, but today I feel uneasy. I took my PRN about two hours ago, and I can feel that my body has calmed down. I feel my mind starting up again. I cannot take another PRN until tomorrow.

I'm glad things have calmed down some. What I try to do when I'm feeling that paranoid is just tell myself nothing bad's going to happen and if it does I'll deal with it then. It helps me to stop worrying.

I know what this feels like, i've gone down that road several times before, i would be in panic mode crying and hyperventilating because i was so scared i did get some advice though that has actually been really helpful if your up for trying something new?
I was told to finish my thought, i would repeat in my head "I'm scared" , "I'm going to die" until the event was over, and it was terrible. I gave myself a safety word for when i am feeling scared, everytime i feel scared i say "banannas bannanas bannnanas" (you can pick a different word i just choose bananas because they are not scary, and kinda funny)this shifts my attention long enough to complete my thought i ask myself "is being scared going to prevent anything?" "the worst that could happen is lets say death" "would being scared keep me alive?" The answer is always no....fear, paranoia and anxiety actually hinder your ability to react should the situation actually be bad. So i repeat in my head or sometimes out loud "your ok" "you can relax, nothing bad is actually happening" and i try to breath deeply while repeating comforting statements. Might be worth a shot.

I was definitely in panic mode. I will try your suggestion if it happens again. I don't usually see the outcome in words, but in images, sometimes still and sometimes moving and they can be graphic. I am not sure I would want to see the thought to its end, but I could try a variation of your idea and see myself being strong and fighting off whatever threat there may be.

I see the outcome in images too to be honest for the longest time i couldn't function in a vehicle, or ever be alone, or walk in the dark.I'm glad your gonna try it, and a variation to make it work for you is the perfect solution. i sure hope it helps, keep us posted.

Dear, I can't tell you how many years I had a knife accessable in every room in the house. Just in case. And a knitting needle in the pocket of my jacket. Just in case. You have my sympathies. Glad it was nothing. HUGGGSSSSSSS

I am thnking that what I go through with my husband must also be paranoia. It is when I am having these times where I end up picking fights and being really awful to him. I feel like he hates me.

I have to beg him to touch me and it is like a chore when I finally get him to say that he will give me a neck rub or whatever. Then while he is doing it, he is not paying attention. He plays games on his phone, throws a ball to the dog, etc... I get more loving touch (healing) from a massage therapist who doesn't know anything about me.

So the rational part of my brain tells me that I am being silly and that he is stressed and is pulling back a little for his own sanity. The irrational part of me says that it has been two years, and he is such a creature of habit (shoes in the same spot every night, morning routine in exact order every day, etc.) that I don't fit into the routine.

I am just another chore on top of the pile of chores.

This ties into my zombification post: In this case I want to zombify because then I won't care.

Oh, shut up. All I do is complain. I am so irritable!

BNLsMOM, I just wanted to give u hug...

And here comes another one. Definitely NOT a chore! Hey, no one ever told these guys life with us would be easy, eh? Now, another chorus of "Are you man enough to be my man?"!
Honestly, I don't know how my hubby does it, dear. I really don't. HUGGGSSSS and even more. And all you do is NOT complain. You're trying to make your way through a heck of a stormy sea. Let's pray for a calm.

It is official, my husband hates my guts. I asked him to get me an ice cream because I am feeling really low, and he said that he didn't want to go out. I pushed a bit. I probably wouldn't have if I didn't think he was lying to me about seeing a sign at the ice cream place saying they were closing at 5. I went on the website for the ice cream place and it said that they would be open til 9, so I told him that. I was being really nice about it and said theses very words. "It would be awesome and I would love it if youcould do that for me."

He lost it. He was so angry that he slammed out of the house and I honestly don't know if he is going to get ice cream for me or leaving for a while to cool off. If he brings ice cream back, how can I possibly eat it and not feel like an *****?

So he brought me ice cream and made it very clear that I am a burden to him. I said that I was feeling like he was overreacting to the request, and he blew up at me, saying that no one ever does anything for him, ever.

I feel bad about that, but I asked him if I had some other sickness and had a hard day and needed a treat, would he have reacted that way and he said that he wouldn't.

Over the last week, I have found that I am a burden to him (he said during couples therapy that his friend asked him, "how do you do it?") and today sealed the deal.

I have felt like my husband hated me before, i would bug him and pester him 100 times a day being like do you love me, why do you love me, there are sometimes when he wouldn't say yes, when he would say why do you constantly ask me and he would get really mad. I was off work due to a bi-polar episode, i never dressed or brushed my hair or showered, most of the time when he would come home i would be sleeping and i felt so terrible, not pysically or mentaly terrible, but emotionally terrible, look at me i would say, who would love this or could even. I just wanted to die, and not be a burden on him anymore. I figured it was because he hated me, hell...i hated me how could he not?I called my sister, i felt so alone i needed to talk to someone, anyone, and i actually told her exactly how i felt, i did not censor it for the family like i normally do. You know what she told me? She said STOP IT your making yourself sick for nothing. She said clean your house really nice, take a shower and get dressed in your nicest outfit, Make him a beautiful dinner with wine and candles, nice music playing and tell him how you feel. At first i thought that i was to do this for him, but you know what it wasn't for him, it was for me, i felt so good about all i had done, i felt worthy of love and i was able to talk to him. I told him and you know what he said? He said Tina i love you, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, and i see you through my eyes not yours. That's how i can love you anyways. You know he still says it sometimes, not i love you but "i love you anyways" and it reminds me that just because you think your a burden or fat or ugly or dumb or crazy or whatever you may think, it doesn't mean your husband see's you that way really deep down because he see's you through his eyes and not your own. i hope you are able to speak with your husband let him know that you appreciate him, and love him despite his flaws and that your willing to change what you can to help him feel better, but he should be willing to do the same for you, because that's what a marriage is.

(((((())))))

I feel for you and your in my prayers i hope that's OK with you.