husband leaving because of depression

My Psychiatrist messed up and took me off anti ds too fast causing a massive crash, rather than helping he has signed me back to gp (gp and psych seem to have had a bit of a row about it from what i can make out)

local mental health team messed up my referals, i am meant to have a therapist and some practical inteventions but they refered me to the wrong section so im back in the waiting lists now,

tried to re refer to my counsellor, but what should have been simple has hit an admin problem and instead of taking a couple of weeks has now taken 2 months and counting,

and now my husband has told me that my depression is too hard to live with and that he wants a separation.

so other than depakote and now a new Rx for SSRI's from GP I have absolutely no support.

soz, dont know why I am posting, just needed to get it of my chest really, feeling very sorry for myself.

what did i ever do to deserve all this?

Let's hope the SSRI's help. Does your husband understand depression? I find it very harsh that he's decided to leave you stranded when you REALLY need him! I keep prompting my boyfriend to learn more about Bipolar, as I count on him when the wheels fall off. It is important that your partner understands.

I'm sorry - I can only imagine the stress and anxiety you are no experiencing - and it probably doesn't make the depression feel any better. Please keep posting; we'll offer as much support as we can

((HUGS))

Wow, I can't believe someone would have the audacity to think of themselves when someone they love is hurting like that. I truly empathize with you, I would not know what to do if my wife left me. I dont' even think I could continue to exist without her, in fact she is probably the biggest reason I am still around today and haven't done something incredibly stupid in one of my harder down swings.

polyonamous I'm sorry you're going through this and I hope you get referred to a different Psychiatrist. I hope you can get in to see a therapist soon.

Not cool. Maybe you will be better off without him if he's like that. Dunno.

thats kinda where my thinking is at lagyjrnlist. have asked him to find out more about depression and bipolar but he is not interested and just says its making him miserable living with me when im down
we have been together for 11 years, for most of that i have been stable or in remission, this is certainly the worst i have been for a long time, but as you said sugahorse and rob, this is when you really rely on your other halves.

feeling very let down and upset!

I know most of us probably get angry...like really angry when we see someone react like that.I would like to say though, as hard as it is for you to b depressed....sometimes it's even harder for those around you. They are completely powerless...they can do NOTHING...to change you..or change your thinking or feelings...that must be really frustrating for the people around us. Most of them do not know that we can't help it...so to them...it's almost like..well "she must be doing this just to ruin my life...she must want to be miserable". I'm sure you can imagine how that must feel..i mean if you didn't know...you might think that way. With all that being said..i am not without sympathy...for better or worse...in sickness and in health...those were his vows...and if he can cast them aside...without offering to do what he can to help..and just give up...then your probably better off without him. It would be nice though..if he was willing to try couples counciling..i mean the doctor could possibly explain a litter more whats going on with you...and could also help him deal with his feelings...too.

I do agree with you Ryask - it is also very hard for those around us to support us through the depression.
But this is where LOVE kicks in and keeps you strong. LOVE is what keeps our support structure supporting us

Firstly, Polyanomous, you didn't do anything to "deserve" this. And please DO post to help get it off your chest. This is a place to do that and better yet, with these lovely understanding people. So remember, you do have support here, which is invaluable when we are feeling we have none IRL. I hope that the new AD Rx works for you, and that you are able to get in soon with a T. On the other, that is hard (also).

The other posters have good thoughts about that. Personal experience, if you care to know...The ex said one time that he would need to learn more. Then never bothered. He was also perfectly content to just ignore me holed up in my room, being sloth-like in movement, staring and barely talking at all in the major depressive phases, some of which went on for very long times. Ignore it and it doesn't exist. Between that (and other related factors, like, about new meds... asked him to please watch for problematic things and being ignored... up to and including, "It is possible for this one to precipitate a seizure. Not likely, but please help me if it does". No response.) That and "jokes" in really poor taste... these were just the last straws for me and I decided to leave. (There were other substantial issues, but those were the ones that really clinched it.) To his credit, he did put up with a helluva lot over many years. (I didn't pursue the counselling route only because the major issue would not have been fixable by it and to me, it wasn't worth saving.)

Currently BF is accepting of it, which is good, but he didn't even recognize major readily observable signs of substantial depression, It came up through his mentioning, rather exasperatedly, about the manifestions. When I told him, he offered to help more (and did) and also said when that happens, I should talk about it. It was hard to explain that after soooo many years of not being able to (lack of venue and hard-wired personal reservations), that it was hard to switch gears and talk.

Sorry to go on and on about it, but if any sounds familiar to you, they might be useful factors to consider in this time. Only you can truly decide how each factor in your personal situation weighs out for you. Big thing is, if you love him and want to try to work it out, the counselling thing is a very good idea and you should give it a go.

It really is hard for them, especially guys (not to generalize, but...) who are frustrated by not being able "fix" it. Major kudos to those who do/can.

Please keep us posted through this rough time, ok?

Thanks Inner zone, a lot of that relates! he also is not interested when i try to talk abot meds and side effects etc and gets angry at my symptoms, I think there is a part of him that feels that he should be "enough" for me and i shouldnt need all these other people and drugs.
I dont know what i am going to do, i am very hurt and angry, but we are just keeping it civil and underwraps untill we have gotten all the familly xmas thing done (gp gave m,e diazepam in sympathy)

And Thank you Ryask, I do forget how hard it is for him to understand, some one posted on here that they didnt know what it was like to NOT be bipolar. I forget that what is normal for me isnt always obvious to everyone else! I have asked him if he thought there was anything worth saving and working towards as i still think there is, but he didnt think talking would help.
I will keep posting, some days i am angry and more than capable of taking on the whole world and stuff him, other days i just sit in my room and cry.