I'm swinging like Tarzan

Right now, I feel like I'm swinging like Tarzan. Constantly going, and not knowing where.

I'm going up and down like it's my job, and I'm getting really sick of it.

It's probably a combination of things: Change in meds (I upped my Lamictal, started Lexapro and upped Lexapro all within a week), problems with meds (I have a rash that I'm pretty sure is Lamictal related although probably benign, but I'm going to see a dermatologist to be sure), stress, odd hours of sleep and probably some other factors that I'm not currently thinking of.

I don't really know how to handle it, and it's driving me crazy.

I'm still new to all of this. It's been just over a month since my diagnosis, and while I'm happy to finally be getting the right treatment I need, I'm impatient, and unhappy about having to be on meds and trying to get the right ones and the right doses etc. I'm also still coming to terms with my diagnosis. Some days I'm better than others when it comes to that.

Honestly though, all I really want is for my life to feel right...to feel normal...to not hate the way it is and want everything to change...to not worry so much about this and that related to my stability, functioning and well-being...to just be able to be truly me...and that's hard to do when you're swinging through the jungle like Tarzan or climbing a mountain that you aren't quite yet prepared for.

Swinging like Tarzan……. Watch out for that….. Tree!!
Sorry couldn’t resist. But I hope it put a smile on your face and made your day a little brighter.

I think you need to slow down and be a little patient with the diagnosis. You have to remember that having bipolar is a chronic illness AND spectrum disorder. Expecting to get results within a month or two is asking a bit much, to be honest. I'm 2 years into this battle and barely understanding the complexities of my highs and lows. It also took me a little over 2 years to find medication that seems to be working, but I still have some issues. (More forgetful/oversleeping etc.)

I understand the swinging, I know how it feels when it seems like nothing will ever get better, but it will. You just gotta put faith in your team and yourself. Also, it helps to lighten up a little.

Good luck on your prognosis. :') I have faith it will get easier for you with time since you seem to be so intent on getting well. It's good to see that in people. :'D

I would also advise patience, it can take a while to get meds right and while ever the meds are changing it is a bit of a roller coaster. It is worth it in the end when you have meds that keep you steady. Be easy and kind to yourself through this and don't put pressure on yourself to recover before you are ready.

I've tried twice to reply...and I had a really good post...but apparently my computer/this website hate me so here's the short version:

I can be either really patient or really impatient. It's like trying to mold wax vs. trying to mold Play-Doh. The wax is harder and requires more patience, much like dealing with bipolar.

Well, my stress is lower now because I made a decision that was really stressing me out...but now I have to find another summer job. Ugh.

I've been really up and down...mostly down though. Yesterday I didn't shower, and I didn't get dressed until almost 2pm when I had to go get my younger siblings from school. Today I didn't shower until about 5pm...and right now, I'm absolutely exhausted but I can't turn my mind off. I'm gonna take my meds soon and put on a mindless movie (I'm thinking Dude Where's My Car?) and watch it until I fall asleep.