Is it Bipolar?

Hello everyone, My name is Chris and I'm kind of lost. I just really need to talk, and I don't think talking to a person face to face is quite right just yet.

The reason I am posting here is because of the girl in my Avatar. That's my fiancee, my blushing bride to be...

She has PCOS, and I only within the last couple months learned that she has been having some major problems. Before I came into her life she used to cut herself and hit herself with a hammer. She always said it's like it's not her, but she remembers doing it. she also hits her head on things and hits herself with her hands. I have only seen this twice, but you have no idea how scary it is. She will go from completely rambunctious and excited, to looking like she is mentally deficient. She stares blankly at things and can't really speak, and she fidgets and sometimes rocks back and forth.. she also hits her head hard on things and hits herself in the head, and despite all I do, I can't help her except just being there. The hardest part is that we think she might be pregnant. We are both really worried about how she's going to be able to carry a child in this state. We can't abort a child, and it would be a miracle to us because she had PCOS and she is supposed to have problems with fertility due to cists on her ovaries. She has many other symptoms which make me wonder if maybe it is Bipolar. including: Mood swings (major ones, from extremely happy and giddy to downright depressed and angry). Headaches and other body aches almost all the time. Trouble with vision. Trouble organizing her thoughts and words most of the time. and then of course there are extreme feelings of guilt in getting me involved, a lack of wanting to be with her family (who aren't very supportive anyways, so that may be excused) This is not just something related to stress, this is a medical condition... We need help, and I'm not sure where to go.. She doesn't want her family, or my father to get involved, but she has consented me to talk with my Mother about it, so I will see where that goes on Thursday.

Thanks for listening, and thank you for any advice or information you can give. I want to fight this thing, and I'll be damned if I lose the only person I could ever love.

Chris

Welcome Christ and i want to commend you for coming here in search of help for your love. Has she seen a good medical doctor? And then a psychiatrist? She needs medical and psychiatric help soon. Would she be willing to see both physicians?

I hope you'll get the help and support here that you so sorely need. We have a lot of really good people here who listen and give feedback. i gotta run. gotta go to work. xoxoxo pat

Hi, Chris. I also hope she agrees to see a psychiatrist and medical doctor very soon. They will be able to help her more than anything will right now. I'm guessing she trusts your mother since she agreed to let you talk to your mom about it. Maybe with you and your mother both supporting her, she'll be able to get the help she needs. I wish you and her the very best of luck. Keep us updated here if you can. We care and want to help. Take care.

Hi, Chris!

I agree with what everyone else has said. The sooner your fiance gets to the Dr., the better. There IS help!

I want to commend you for hanging in there with your fiance. Sometimes people don't understand mental illness, get scared, and run off. Your support will mean a lot to her, even if she can't express it right now!!

Warmly...

Thank you all for your comments and thanks for listening. I really need to write everything down and tell people even if I don't know them, it really helps me to calm myself down so I can focus on helping Kara.

She hasn't seen a psychiatrist or a doctor yet, but I am working on that. I'm not sure exactly what is available in my area but I am checking it out. It is hard for us both because she doesn't want my Dad, or her parents to know (her parents are very critical of her our relationship, and my Dad doesn't approve of us being together, which is always hard) She trusts my Mom more than her own, and she has always been very helpful and supportive of our feelings and our relationship... she also has a medical background, so that helps... I think that talking to her is the first step, but finding time to is not an easy task (she works opposite shifts to me) I usually get to see Kara as she's leaving the clinic she works at, before I head in for work, but I never get chance to see my mother, but I have arranged to take her out for lunch on Thursday (she knows that there's something I need to tell her) so we'll see what happens. As to me running off, I know that there is nothing that is her fault, and that she can't help doing the things she does. I love her so much, and I know that I need her in my life, disabled or not. The woman I fell in love with is still there, but there is this other person driving her to insanity, and it tears me apart to see her like she is. If I ever lost her, I don't know what I'd do.

I'll keep you posted on whatever happens,
It's really nice being able to talk

Chris

Welcome Chris. Your fiancee is very lucky to have found such a loving and understanding person. And from how you write of her you are lucky also. You may want to consider finding professional help as that may help alleviate some of the symptoms. It is also very important should she find out that she truly is pregnant. I am sorry that her family and your father may not be open to her diagnosis and I only hope that you look out for her welfare first as that is what is primarily important. You have found a place to gather information and people that will lend a sympathetic ear when you need it. Hopefully you will use this resource. Good luck and be safe.

Thank you again for the kind words... I'm sure that writing everything down is the best thing for me right now... it's a good way to eleviate some of the stress involved.

Just as an update, we have talked to my mother, and I think that we may have come across a bit of peace by just talking about it... she really wants to help us, and she understands what Kara is going through, because when she was younger, she had similar problems... she doesn't think it is bipolar, but she doesn't rule it out...her councellor doesn't believe anything she says either and is not sympathetic or compassionate of her situation (I think we need a new councellor) Also, we have decided to ask her family physician about a clinic that is run at the continuing care centre where we live related to mood disorders, we have also decided to ask for a referral to a psychiatrist. It has taken a while to convince her without hurting her, but she knows now more than ever that she needs help, and I'm the only one she trusts right now...

I hope that this new councellor works well, and I pray to god that it is something treatable (in my heart I know it is, because I know that we were meant to be happy together)
Which reminds me, we aren't pregnant .... after a 38 day period (10 days late for those of you who aren't as knowledgeable) she finally got her period... Late cycles are another bi-product of her PCOS but they usally aren't that extreme. Now that a little bit of worry has been lifted, I think that it will be easier for her to get better, and it will be easier for me to care for her without having to worry about the baby all the time.

Thank you again, and I just want to re-afirm how much it means to me that you guys are willing to read this and give feedback... It really does help.

Will post again

Chris

I am so happy that you told your mother and she was sympathetic. I am sure it means so much to have someone in your family t hat is supportive.

As far as the dx I really think it is important to find someone who is qualified to do so. I would suggest a psychiatrist either from your clinic or private practice. I see one that an area of interest is in bipolar disorder andI find that to be highly beneficial to my treatment.

I would find out as much as you can about each person you are thinking about seeing. Many will give you a free consultation so you can check compatibility matters. Otherwise refferrals are a good resource.

I have to agree that being pregnant at this time would complicate things as many of the meds should not be taken while pregnagnt.

Well, good luck on your quest. Remember everyone here will help guide you the best they can t hrough the quagmire of the mental health system. Don't give up hope there is good help out there.

Such good news to be thankful for during this holiday!!!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo pat