Sometimes for me being bipolar isn't so bad. Like the creative genius that strikes me when I'm hypo manic. But it is really bad when the depression hits and I hate that so much. Right now I feel like I am sliding into depression and I hope with all my being that my meds will help to keep it to a minimum and make it brief. Time will tell. Please wish me well and if you pray then a little prayer would be very nice. I hope that those who read this are doing well.

[Forgive77]

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

I'll say a little prayer for you. Hope it's not as bad as you think. Much love, and Welcome! There a lot of great people here.

[BlackPup]

DobieLuv: you will be in my prayers

Originally Posted by DobieLuv

Sometimes for me being bipolar isn't so bad. Like the creative genius that strikes me when I'm hypo manic. But it is really bad when the depression hits and I hate that so much. Right now I feel like I am sliding into depression and I hope with all my being that my meds will help to keep it to a minimum and make it brief. Time will tell. Please wish me well and if you pray then a little prayer would be very nice. I hope that those who read this are doing well.

Welcome to the forums, DobieLuv! (Is your name because you love Dobermans?)

Wishing you well that the meds will keep any depression that might come your way lesser (or that it not turn out to go that way at all! Wishing that for you even more!). I've found the meds help a lot (and they have really been put to the test this past year!). How long have you been on meds?

Yea for creative genius! It's the one thing I never doubt about myself. To the point of shouting out, "I'm a ******* genius!!!" Lol. First psych said, "but you don't really believe it, do you?" Why yes, yes I do!" We should get together! It's the best, isn't it?! (Many fear losing that, but that's not at all my experience. It's probably good to mention that.)

Will be thinking of you DobieLuv!

[wing]

Dobie, I just said a prayer for you.

[cheeri]

I'm BP I as well. It can be soooo trying!!! I quit meds and am actively taking measures to keep myself stable. Exercise, good food, sleep, no caffeine, less booze, journal entries. I'm currently definitely hypomanic. I absorb so much information and sweep all the boys off their feet with my charm and wit. However, for about 6 months last year, I couldn't get out of the house and had zero motivation. I really feel sorry for people in my life that watch my lifetime roller coaster...

I find much solace here. Helps to know somebody understands!

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Welcome to the forums, DobieLuv! (Is your name because you love Dobermans?)

Wishing you well that the meds will keep any depression that might come your way lesser (or that it not turn out to go that way at all! Wishing that for you even more!). I've found the meds help a lot (and they have really been put to the test this past year!). How long have you been on meds?

Yea for creative genius! It's the one thing I never doubt about myself. To the point of shouting out, "I'm a ******* genius!!!" Lol. First psych said, "but you don't really believe it, do you?" Why yes, yes I do!" We should get together! It's the best, isn't it?! (Many fear losing that, but that's not at all my experience. It's probably good to mention that.)

Will be thinking of you DobieLuv!

Hi there,
I do love doberman's. My dog's name is Rex and I got him 4 yrs. ago and he made me fall in love with the breed. The funny thing is that if you told me 10 yrs. ago I would own a doberman I would have told you no freaking way. I used to be scared of them but I did my research and now I love them...lol. They are a great breed. Oh and about the creativity, yeah I find that since I am on meds I can focus my creativity better. You sound really neat. I appreciate your supportive and humorous response thank you so much. It would be fun to meet.

Originally Posted by Forgive77

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

I'll say a little prayer for you. Hope it's not as bad as you think. Much love, and Welcome! There a lot of great people here.

Thank you so much! I really appreciate the warm reception and the support. Thank you for your prayer. God is good and I know he will hear and help me.
Much love back to you.

Originally Posted by BlackPup

DobieLuv: you will be in my prayers

Thank you so much for your prayers. I am very truly grateful. God is good and I know he will hear and respond. Much love and hugs for you as well.

Originally Posted by wingin'it

Dobie, I just said a prayer for you.

Thank you so much for your support and your prayer. I am most grateful. God is good so I know I am in good hands and that prayers will be heard and that he will respond.

Originally Posted by cheeri

I'm BP I as well. It can be soooo trying!!! I quit meds and am actively taking measures to keep myself stable. Exercise, good food, sleep, no caffeine, less booze, journal entries. I'm currently definitely hypomanic. I absorb so much information and sweep all the boys off their feet with my charm and wit. However, for about 6 months last year, I couldn't get out of the house and had zero motivation. I really feel sorry for people in my life that watch my lifetime roller coaster...

I find much solace here. Helps to know somebody understands!

I am impressed that you have been able to come off your meds and do well by doing all that healthy stuff for yourself. For me I know I could not do it without medication. I do know what you mean about the zero motivation and not getting out of the house you went through those 6 months, I also struggle with that. Part of it is also because my doberman pinscher has severe separation anxiety and i've only one option that works and that's if he comes with me in the car. I can leave him in the car and he is fine so the weather has to be cooler. If I leave him out at home he destroys everything either in house or outside and pet taxi is out of the question because he injures himself trying to get out. Ugh good thing I love him sooo much huh....lol.
Thank you so much for your support I really appreciate it.

Well out of desperation I took and extra dose of my abilify. I am on 5 mg dosage so I ended up taking 1 int the a.m. and 1 in the p.m. for a total of 10 mgs. I do feel better. I feel rather flat and blah but anything is better than being lost in an abyss of pain. So I believe that your prayers helped (THANK YOU). I also slept as much as possible to try and sleep through the horrid thoughts and feelings.

I feel better today and I am gonna try and do some of my creative things that make me feel good or whatever I find to be self soothing , be it sleeping, chatting or just reading.

I just want to say a big thank you for those of you who offered your warm and loving support. It has helped soooo much to be surrounded by others who understand, you just cannot get that from anybody else but a fellow bipolar sufferer.

Originally Posted by DobieLuv

... The funny thing is that if you told me 10 yrs. ago I would own a doberman I would have told you no freaking way. I used to be scared of them ... Oh and about the creativity, yeah I find that since I am on meds I can focus my creativity better... I appreciate your supportive and humorous response thank you so much. It would be fun to meet.

Haha, it was the same for me with guinea pigs! I love piggies soooo much now! (Especially our currrent one who is very well socialized, sweet and hilarious.) As for dogs, I'm a huge fan of Alaskan huskies. On creativity, it seems to pretty much operate the same way it always has, though my focus in that realm has always been so (focus in other realms? Haha, not so much! Understatement.) Humor is fun and undoubtably the product off an offbeat mind, lol. IRL, it comes from left field (Steven Wright has me beat by miles though, lol!) , and when hypomanic? Look out! (Also, can totally keep up listening to Robin Williams, which is probably just plain frightening. ) It's also a defense mechanism, which is both good and not. Good in that it sometimes helps deal with unbearable pain. Do you find listening to comedy that you like helpful? If you do, perhaps you could try some of that too. Thanks for thinking it is funny. I really appreciate that.

Originally Posted by DobieLuv

... I do feel better. I feel rather flat and blah but anything is better than being lost in an abyss of pain... I also slept as much as possible to try and sleep through the horrid thoughts and feelings.
I feel better today and I am gonna try and do some of my creative things that make me feel good or whatever I find to be self soothing , be it sleeping, chatting or just reading...

Sooo glad you are feeling better today, DobieLuv! Hear you on the flat being better at times. That can be perplexing to those that haven't been in the other places. Sleep is good too. Someone said wisely... if you had the flu or were sick in some other physical way, you would naturally understand that rest is needed. We need to cut ourselves some slack and realize that we are sick and can need that rest just as much sometimes. Creative stuff? Yes, very self-soothing and can make us feel better about ourselves, which can help counter the bad thoughts. The positive needs all the help it can get to battle back! Hope you are able to strengthen that side today! Let's make a deal to both do some creative stuff. Hmmm, with music too...Sounds like a plan! Lots of and positive things to you!

[Lil Ant Lady]

i will say a little prayer for you also
im exactly where you are at this current time also
absolutely hate it - so so much
big hugs xxxxxx

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Haha, it was the same for me with guinea pigs! I love piggies soooo much now! (Especially our currrent one who is very well socialized, sweet and hilarious.) As for dogs, I'm a huge fan of Alaskan huskies. On creativity, it seems to pretty much operate the same way it always has, though my focus in that realm has always been so (focus in other realms? Haha, not so much! Understatement.) Humor is fun and undoubtably the product off an offbeat mind, lol. IRL, it comes from left field (Steven Wright has me beat by miles though, lol!) , and when hypomanic? Look out! (Also, can totally keep up listening to Robin Williams, which is probably just plain frightening. ) It's also a defense mechanism, which is both good and not. Good in that it sometimes helps deal with unbearable pain. Do you find listening to comedy that you like helpful? If you do, perhaps you could try some of that too. Thanks for thinking it is funny. I really appreciate that.

Sooo glad you are feeling better today, DobieLuv! Hear you on the flat being better at times. That can be perplexing to those that haven't been in the other places. Sleep is good too. Someone said wisely... if you had the flu or were sick in some other physical way, you would naturally understand that rest is needed. We need to cut ourselves some slack and realize that we are sick and can need that rest just as much sometimes. Creative stuff? Yes, very self-soothing and can make us feel better about ourselves, which can help counter the bad thoughts. The positive needs all the help it can get to battle back! Hope you are able to strengthen that side today! Let's make a deal to both do some creative stuff. Hmmm, with music too...Sounds like a plan! Lots of and positive things to you!

I had a guinea pig when I was a teeny bopper (long time ago am 40 now..lol) and I so loved her. I taught her not to potty on me and she used to cuddle my neck under my longish hair and just lay there while i watched tv after we played for a bit. She was a super sweet cuddly girl.
Well today I did something even better than creative stuff as far as making me feel better, I got 2 dreaded chores out of the way plus a couple others. Made me feel good to have accomplished a job that seems big because I hate it so much ie. cleaning up doggie presents in the yard. I did do some knitting, not much but hey I will count that as doing something creative today..lol.
I love your sense of humor and I so love that you love Steven Wright he is an amazing comic. You are too right about humor being a way of coping with the pain I use it as much as I can to lighten the mood, until I am to far into depressed episode then forget it not likely to happen. When I am depressed I find listening to comedy frustrating and cannot enjoy it like I do when I am balanced or hypo manic. One of my current favorites is Jeff Dunham, I think how does he come up with all that brilliant comedy.
I learned a while back to cut myself some slack after I was dxd and realized pressuring myself all those years before only made it worse. So if I need a nap by golly I will take one...lol. I have found a few ways to self soothe in a positive way thank goodness. I continue to do better today which is a relief in itself. The way I felt yesterday was like I was headed for a lengthy severe depressive episode. Apparently my meds are working (Thank You Lord!!). I also took an extra dose of my abilify to try to help.
Before this becomes a book I will say good bye for now and again thank you for your encouragement and humor it has helped more than you know.
I would like to friend you but being new i've yet to figure out how.

Originally Posted by laura youens

i will say a little prayer for you also
im exactly where you are at this current time also
absolutely hate it - so so much
big hugs xxxxxx

Thank you so much for the prayer. I will pray for you too. I hope that you will pull out of it soon because I know it sucks. I have done better today and I hope I continue to do so. I think my meds are helping because usually once I feel depression starting it tends to stick around a long while and get pretty bad. Time will tell if I will keep feeling better or not. I so know how you feel right now though. You hang in there. Just keep in mind that as much as we hate when the depression strikes it does not last forever. I try to think to myself everyday when I am depressed that tomorrow might be the day I feel better. That mindset helps me. You take care of yourself and be kind to yourself any way that you can. We have a very real illness that is just as valid as any physical ailment so we have to nurse ourselves back to health the best way we can.

Haha, yes on the piggie on the neck. Ours loves hanging out on the back of the couch and we all watch DVDs together. She's a very tidy girl and has a 'poopie corner' in her enclosure. Then again, she grew up watching lots of Monk! (There's a picture of her on my page btw, under "Pets")

Yeah on the chores, especially dreaded ones! Good for you!

Hear you on the humor when seriously depressed. Same here. If I remember, I might check out this Jeff Dunham, never heard of him.
One of my favorite comedians.... hmmm. After much debate, I've erased that part of my post. As much as I adore this comedian -- his humor's pretty clean and language is not excessive, but he's potentially triggering on a couple substance fronts (not drugs btw). If you do want to know though, I can PM you. (I've already got that bit saved in my emails, so it would be very easy.) Or anyone else who would like it of course.

See you figured out the friending thing. I'm glad you're feeling better, DobieLuv -- may it continue!

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Haha, yes on the piggie on the neck. Ours loves hanging out on the back of the couch and we all watch DVDs together. She's a very tidy girl and has a 'poopie corner' in her enclosure. Then again, she grew up watching lots of Monk!

Yeah on the chores, especially dreaded ones! Good for you!

Hear you on the humor when seriously depressed. Same here. If I remember, I might check out this Jeff Dunham, never heard of him.
One of my favorite comedians.... hmmm. After much debate, I've erased that part of my post. As much as I adore this comedian -- his humor's pretty clean and language is not excessive, but he's potentially triggering on a couple substance fronts (not drugs btw). If you do want to know though, I can PM you. (I've already got that bit saved in my emails, so it would be very easy.)

See you figured out the friending thing. I'm glad you're feeling better, DobieLuv -- may it continue!

Yes aren't you proud of me I did figure out the friend thing. Yes please PM me you have me curious about the possible triggering comedy. I think that is so funny that your piggie grew up watching Monk. For a long time I was seriously addicted to that show. My husband teased me and said I was as OCD as Monk and I laughed and said yep he is the man of my dreams....lmao. The comedian I told you about, Jeff Dunham, he is a ventriloquist and he is just hilarious. I am surprised you haven't heard of him because he really hit it big on Comedy Central network. Any way I think you will enjoy him as much as I do since we seem to be on the same page. Shoot I liked him so much I bought a bunch of books on how to be a ventriloquist and also bought a full size puppet figure.....I think I might have been manic at the time because all have just sat on the shelf...lol. I keep 'em though so I can dream I guess. Anyway I continue to feel well, not great nor bad, pretty much stable to my relief. You have played a part in helping me just so you know. It has been nice to have someone who understands and has a great sense of humor for support.

Oh but one of the continually frustrating and irritating things about having bipolar disorder is the medication roller coaster. I quit smoking about the same time I began a new drug and as a result one of them has brought on some weight gain. I am highly suspicious of the medication as the weight seems to be creeping on still long after the inevitable using food as a replacement for cigarettes period is over. Ugh..alas do I ask for a med change and go through the medication ride all over again? Honestly I feel like weaning off all meds and starting from scratch again. Obviously I would do this under pdoc's supervision because I'm not that crazy, at least not anymore....lol.
Another concern about the idea of the medication causing the weight gain is medicinally induced diabetes. The first and most effective bipolar medication I was prescribed was Symbyax and I had to be taken of it for extreme weight gain and a blood work up that was off the charts for normal range.
On top of these concerns is the extreme tiredness I have had to deal with. I want to crawl back into bed every few hours and I try to fight it but I usually end up going back to bed because I end up nodding off anyway. So here I sit wondering if the symptoms are bearable enough to warrant the medication. It's taken such a long time to find the right combination of meds to control the mood swings but at the cost of turning me into what seems like a zombie.
Has anyone else had this experience? If so how did you go about remedying the situation?

Having a tough time gauging what my mood is doing right now. Don't ya hate when that happens?
I mean for crying out loud a soap opera just made me cry. Like when does that ever happen...lol. So lately I have been having weepy spells and had been sleeping a really really lot. Apparently i've just had the physical symptoms of depression because in terms of mood I have been okay. Over the past week it seems I have had a bit more energy and yet no unquenchable zest for life has sprung forth as it usually begins in a hypo-manic state for me. I am wondering if perhaps I could be mixed. It is so hard to say. I think my meds have me in such a fog that I couldn't tell if I was full blown manic right now.