So this morning I woke up to immediate thoughts of not wanting to be here. I took my dog out for his walk, it was still sort of dark out. A man two houses down the street started yelling "baby" to me. Then he started walking towards me, then running. So I ran back to my house and looked out the window, he was standing at the edge of the drive way. Ok so I still have some self preservation left.

We have a killer on the loose here, who has sent a letter to the police saying he was looking for more women. The last crime took place near railroad tracks. I was near the tracks this morning. Needless to say we are on high alert here. This man didn't fit the description, but shook me up none the less. I have PTSD and incidents like this never help.

I'm feeling even more low today, trying to be patient for meds to work, only day three. All I've noticed so far is alertness, and zero appetite. I know I am soo impatient. I just want to feel better now.

[tnlibrarian]

I don't blame you for running! I would have, too. Hang in there--you have to give the meds time to kick in. We're here if you need us.

[AniManiac]

(((Anika))) Sounds like a rotten way to start the day - good thing you had the dog with you!

Alertness is probably good, better than brain fog, right? Do you have anything planned that you can look forward to? Maybe yoga or visiting your sister?

I have yoga tomorrow. Haha I have a ton of chores to do. I could try some mindful meditation tho. Good idea I'll call my sister when she is done work.

I'll have to figure out a safer route for me and my dog in the mornings, there are some strange people out that early. My dog is a pug, so he's small and he's very non protective. He loves strangers and seems to have no doggy instincts. I was litterly dragging my dog as I ran as he wanted to keep going in the direction of the man.

[tnlibrarian]

Oh, jeesh, that sounds like the Papillon we had. Of course, Daisy would have been all for saying hello until she sensed something wrong. Then she would have tried to bite him the minute he came near me. So don't underestimate your Pug--he might have sunk his teeth into that guy without a second thought if he thought the man was going to hurt you!

[AniManiac]

Originally Posted by Anika

I have yoga tomorrow. Haha I have a ton of chores to do. I could try some mindful meditation tho. Good idea I'll call my sister when she is done work.

I'll have to figure out a safer route for me and my dog in the mornings, there are some strange people out that early. My dog is a pug, so he's small and he's very non protective. He loves strangers and seems to have no doggy instincts. I was litterly dragging my dog as I ran as he wanted to keep going in the direction of the man.

Oh, pugs are probably not very good guard dogs, are they? I wish my dog would let her guard down a little bit. She sometimes gets all frothing-at-the-mouth at other dogs because she's so serious about trying to protect us. At least she's a bit larger and acts fierce!

Is it possible to take your morning walk a little bit later, when it's more like broad daylight? I know the dog's bladder might not hold, but sometimes we let ours out an extra time late at night to relieve herself if we expect to sleep in the next morning.

A new route might be enjoyable too. It's good to explore and change up the routine every so often.

[Beebizzy]

(((Anika))) that is super-scary!! Although your pug maybe a sweetie, any potential attackers don't necessarily know that But still... I wouldn't count on it. Jeez be careful going out there early morning - I'm scared even reading there's a killer about near you.

Can you let your pug out the garden or something, and then go for a proper walk later? Maybe there's a more public place you could go, like a park? Any chance you could go with someone?

I'm impatient with meds too.

Please take care!!

[roads]

Originally Posted by Anika

So this morning I woke up to immediate thoughts of not wanting to be here. ... Ok so I still have some self preservation left.

We have a killer on the loose here ....

Anika, I am glad you have some self preservation left. I'm not so glad that it takes a local killer on the loose to bring it out.

Glad yoga's soon. Sister visit sounds good too.

I hate it that meds can take so long to work. This lamictal I'm adding is starting to make me irritable/angry again. Went away before, hope it will again. Are yours going to be increased?

(My cat growls at strangers and will attack, 17lbs right at the face. I have to keep him on a harness when we're out. Some of my neighbors act a bit hostile since I'm on the Master Board & they blame me for things. Buster hates it if someone yells at me or shoves a finger in my face.)

Haha, roadrunner!! And thanks Beebizzy, it's a small community so I think were just not used to this sort of thing.

My dog Chin Sui seriously is one strange dog. He is afraid of everything. It took almost year to get him to walk outside, he was scarred of painted crosswalks, the texture changing from gravel to pavement or grass, shadows, you name it. He would just dig his feet in and come to a halt. It took me four months to teach him to come down the stairs.

He's also terrified of round objects, anything round, ball, orange, pumpkin, balloons and he just freaks out. he's also not nurtured and has never tried to " hump" anything ever he's three years old. Hates bones, I dunno, he's a weirdo. but I love him!!

[Beebizzy]

Eek!! Even worse if it's a small community - I'm officially worried.

Ah the little pet He sounds adorable. Give him a stroke from me - if that's not too scary LOL. Poor mite.

Oh ya one more thing, Chin Sui refuses to look at him self in the mirror, I think its because he just refuses to admit he is not a human

I'll give him a pet from you Beebizzy, he loves pets!

[Beebizzy]

.......

[alwaysbeenbroke]

Glad your ok Anika. Your dog sounds adorable, my shih tzu has some quirks as well, just makes em more loveable.

Oooooh, Anika!!!
That must have been so scary, I'm so very glad you're alright and are working on good self-care and things to help the 'thought' part of things. I had a stalker many years ago, and still remember that that was the hardest part. It's not the same, but I'm guessing the mind part of it is. One good thing is that in a small town, people tend to look out for each other more and have a lower threshold for what defines suspicious behavior. And report it. I hope they catch that *%&#(@*@ very soon!

Originally Posted by Anika

I have yoga tomorrow. Haha I have a ton of chores to do. I could try some mindful meditation tho. Good idea I'll call my sister when she is done work. I'll have to figure out a safer route for me and my dog in the mornings..

Sounds like a very good plan!

[SophiaG]

i would actually call the police and report the incident. that seemed like a really odd incident. :/

Ok I called the line they had set up for this and reported it. It was odd indeed, I hope they catch him too! They did link the suspects DNA to a reported sexual assult five years ago. I don't have a car so I walk everywhere, but it's dark by 4:30pm so I have to make sure I get all my outings done during the day. I have to walk through empty fields or a secluded path to get anywhere. It's sure not a nice feeling not feeling safe outside. I'm sure this must be heightened living in a big city.

[AniManiac]

Originally Posted by Anika

Ok I called the line they had set up for this and reported it. It was odd indeed, I hope they catch him too! They did link the suspects DNA to a reported sexual assult five years ago. I don't have a car so I walk everywhere, but it's dark by 4:30pm so I have to make sure I get all my outings done during the day. I have to walk through empty fields or a secluded path to get anywhere. It's sure not a nice feeling not feeling safe outside. I'm sure this must be heightened living in a big city.

Glad you reported it; it sounded like a weird and creepy thing to have happen!

My city isn't that big (about 150K in the city + 660K in metro area) but I think I feel safer in the city because there are a lot more people around. So if anything went wrong, there's a better chance that there would be someone who could help. I walk through an enormous cemetery between my house and campus, even at night, by myself. A lot of people seem to think that's scary. I don't see it that way - the cemetery is beautiful and peaceful (it's a Victorian-era "designed landscape") and I know the terrain very well - plus there are always people walking their dogs or students passing through to the apartment building at the end of my street. Actually, the police are the most dangerous thing in the cemetery because they tear through the curvy, hilly roads at high speeds for no apparent reason.

I don't feel safe walking a couple blocks from my house alone at night in the wrong direction, but I think any sizable city has areas that are best avoided under those conditions, and it's usually not a big deal.

[Beebizzy]

Me too - I never feel scared in the city. There are lights, cars, people, places to go inside etc.

Innerzone, I did have a problem with a man stalking me quite a while back. Worst part was he was from my intensive group therapy. So he knew alot about me including that I am afraid of older men, and have a hard time being assertive. Final straw was when I went to pick up my kids from school an he was parked out front sitting there waiting. anyways ok that's too heavy.

I'm working on my decorations trying to distract my self from feeling depressed, it is helping a bit. I can barely make out the tree, I put so many decorations on it.

Ani, you are one brave soul. My imagination would definatly get the better of me. Be safe.

[AniManiac]

Originally Posted by Anika

Ani, you are one brave soul. My imagination would definatly get the better of me. Be safe.

Heh heh, no worries. I was born in Detroit.

I think it's great you are putting so many decorations on your tree! We did that last year, as I'd come into the relationship with enough ornaments for a sizeable tree. Ours was small, and I was determined to put them all on anyway, lol! (BF had given up looking for spaces long before, saying, "you know, you don't have to put them all on!" Oh yes, yes I do!) Very festive though! We're planning to get a tree tomorrow, which is earlier than usual for us, but looking forward to the prettiness and light of it, so early it is! We're going to check out a cut your own tree place, hoping to get something cheap enough and not too wide, with space enough between branches for the ornaments to actually hang vertically(!) Which is trickier than it sounds, as we have these swirly plastic "icicles", pale golden with glitter embedded that are probably 4-5" long. They might sound a little loud, but actually they are very pretty. Sold most of the ornaments when we thought we were moving, but there are still plenty.

[dragonfly2]

I'm glad to hear you're okay. Just try to give the meds some time, okay? You've come this far and been through so much this year - you'll get there. Your tree sounds very happy!

[~Christina]

Anika ... WOW im so sorry that happened to you ,I would be scared too if some man came runnnng towards me.. I also have a dog ( hes on pic here ) he literally is scared of everything ,, sounds kind like your pup ..Mine came from the pound he had been picked up and we found lots of road rash on him so we immeciatly took him from the pound to the vet and he has been run over by a car ,, poor guy ( hes all healed now) so hes a big huge WIMP! but i love him to bits .. hes always at my side and loves me no matter what .. Hes probaly the only reason I leave my house most days ( to take him out) .. IM gald your safe and reported what happened .. enjoy your christmas decorations !

(((hugs))) Stay safe !

[roads]

It strikes me as so strange that anyone would trust strangers to save them, were they attacked in a city. In my experience, no one (& I mean NO ONE) got involved, although dozens had the opportunity. It was all I could do to get the police's attention when I finally flagged a car down.

I seriously suggest you learn self-defense or have some other plan in mind.

I used to have pepper spray. I know that's not technically allowed. But I think I'll pick up some bear spay, I think that's allowed, as for using on people, I don't know. Yes Roadrunner I don't think I'd trust bystanders to help.

I'm sorry anything like that ever happened to you