meds,anger and confusion..( long )

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Hey everyone ...
As many of you probably know Seroquel causes most everyone to gain weight .. well I have gained 30 lbs in say 3-4 months ! My T told me last wednesday he will contact my Pdoc ( they are in the same office ) and see if there is any other options for me .. I have had issues with anorexia for years so the weight gain has me flipping out seriously . prior to Seroquel I was around 120 lbs and im 5'6 everyone told me i was wayyyy to skinny and of course i still looked in the mirror and saw triple that amount .... I finally agreed that i needed to gain about 10 lbs ..well the first 10 lbs i was ok with... the addl 20 ... NO WAY ..

The Seroquel for me causes me to constantly think about food.. somedays i swear all i do is fight the urge to eat and fail which makes the self loathing and hatred for myself to rear its ugly head and i use to cut ALOT and it would stop my constant eating but my husband cant stand the cutting he said it makes him physically sick and I promised him I would try my best to not cut .... I also have Severe Fibromyalgia so i cant just "go work out and battle the weight ..

Because of my finacial situation where i go for Pdoc and T has been able to keep me in samples of seroquel which has been a blessing and a curse .. Im losing my health insurance at the end of the year ,, my T said he will see me for free ... which i am so grateful for but of course i have never been given things for free so Yes i have issues with his seeing me pro bono ..

I know most bipolar people at some point get tired/ mad/pissed off/ or cant afford there meds.. the other nite after a day of eventually eating too much and the constant cravings for carbs and sugar I decided screw it I wont take the seroquel that nite ... well I didnt sleep as well as i usally do taking the seroquel BUT yesterday i wasnt in a rage about food all day ,,i was able to eat smaller amounts and it felt WONDERFUL . so i sit here tonight and have decided im not taking it again ... I KNOW im playing with fire and all that mess but ( I see my T on wednesday) ... its so hard for me to take a medication that causes me to eat and eat and eat ..and if im not eating im thinking about eating ,, Hell its worse than the issues i deal with when my anorexia gets out of hand ,,, but thats easier to deal with than the damn side effects of Seroquel .

Has anyone else had this much weight gain and or trouble on Seroquel and did you find another option ?

Just looking for some info and Yes some support in dealing with Bipolar ,, Now i am looking back and can see where i have been BiPolar since i was a kid but i was just diagnosed with it this year at age 44 !!!!!

Meds i have tried Abilify ( massive Nausea that never stopped )
Cymbalta ( severe stomach pains )

Current Meds

Seroquel 300 mg at nite
Lamictal 100 or 150 a nite depending on when i can afford to refill it
Xanax 1mg twice a day
Halcion .5mg at nite
Neurontin 300mg as needed
Flexril 10mg as needed
Loratab 7.5mg as needed

Honestly most days id love to throw every damn medication in the trash ... Up until this past year I somehow "managed" my life without all these meds... looking back I did some really dumb *hit ..but other than a few bouts of "depression" but due tomajor life stressors ( father dying , divorce )

I just feel like it has taken over my life on all levels and even tho I am faithful with my T sessions and working very hard ..I dont know I just want to pack a duffel bag and my dog and get in a car and literally drive away ( my T said thats a normal thougth process for someone with bipolar ..

Sorry this is so long ..I just needed to vent, rant, complain or having a nice big fat pity party for myself ....depending how you look at it .

Thanks for any replys in advance

Wishing you all peace and love and food with no calories

Really sorry you are struggling so with weight, meds, sleep, fibro.

Couple of questions for your pdoc next time you see him/her.
Is seroquel only for sleep & at that dosage. As far as cost goes, my lamictal is generic & haven't noticed any difference between brand & generic, except price. Also the drug companies offer PAP (patient assistance program). A few years ago this was a life saver for me. Try needymeds.com hopefully it's still a working website, otherwise find out the drug co that makes lamictal & email or call them. They will send or fax you paperwork. Mine was free for a year. Also ask if you need to tweak the lamictal and/or be more consistent with the dosage. About your neurontin for fibro, taking it "as needed" is another question, ask if taking it daily/regularly would be more helpful with the pain.

This is NOT advice or recommendations, just questions to ask. Call if you can't wait until next appt. Hate to see you so frustrated!!
Take care of yourself.

Thanks for the reply Kindachactic .

My T and Pdoc office will help getting me the medications i take once i lose my health insurance .. will be the first of the year Ill be able to hopefully afford two more refills due nov 10th and dec 10th IF we can afford them ... finacially things are just that tight ( like so many people i know) ... I have filed for disability as to my primary care doctor and my Pdos and T has advised me .. of course i was denied the first go around and have filed for a reconsideration... I hate the thought of it but i finally can admit that between bipolar so unstable and my fibro ,,I just cant work at this point . ..
Seroquel for me is for sleep and mood ... and now this is day 3 without and I know i need it I am feeling snappy and easily annoyed ..but it has been nice for a few days to not constantly obsess about food ..I know my mental health is more important than weight but for me the anorexia issue is a BIG thing.

I use to take Neurontin twice daily ... It really started to not work ..along with Loratab flexril and soma all pretty much lost there effect so i took myself off all of them at once and i spent a week of pure hell LOL but i knew i had to take a break .. personally my pain is always at a 7 on a scale to 10 .. typically i wait til i hit at least a 9 before i take it only because i dont want my body to just get use to it again and it not work at all .. also neurontin causes weight gain ...LOL

I see my T wednesday .. I feel safe and all today just easily annoyed and have to remind myself its not my husbands fault I decided to take a couple days off Seroquel .. so im trying very hard to just keep to myself and not allow myself to take it out on him .. Hes not to happy that i stopped it for a few days ,, but he cant really understand how all this feels.. noone really can understand it unless they are living it ,, well except my T hes amazing !! im very blessed to have found him ... that one hour a week i see him i feel so safe and not judged , he helps me cope with all my mulititude of problems LOL

Sorry for the long rambling responses ,, i swear it seems since fibor hit 18 months ago and its all been downhill since then 3 trips to the psych ward and therapy weekly ,, seems im unable to make a condensed version of anything like i use to .... i hate rambling but i cant seem to make things shorter . LOL

Thanks for your insite it heled me and just knowing other people really can support me and know how it all feels ..

(((((HUGS)))))

Drs can be so unfair about considering the weight gain effects of some meds. Years ago for me zyprexa, lithium, and few others were killers in that regards and they drs can be very insensitive to that, only caring about mood stabilization. (Large weight gains can kill self esteem and make one more depressed).

I now am on only meds that do not do that--wellbutrin, triliptol and geodon.

I gained lots of weight with those other meds, and it took years to lose.

Have your doc perscribe another med. It is not fair to you.

I gained 20 pounds while on Seroquel. While it helped the anxiety/mania and let me really sleep for the first time in years, I began getting really depressed about the weight gain. I weaned myself off Seroquel. It just increased my appetite SO much. I think you have to "weigh" the pros and cons of being on Seroquel. For me, taking a Klonopin before bed helps me sleep and doesn't make me want to eat everything in the house! Hope this helps! Good luck!

Thanks
I do agree most doctors ignore the weight gain.... im pressing the issue because large weight gains can cause other health issues ( like bipolar people dont have enough lol ) Seroquel can cause diabetes ,, the additional weight for me makes my Fibro pain worse as the added weight increases my joint and muscle pain... My T is very understanding about the weight issues i have and hes a direct pipeline to my Pdoc .. My pdoc usally goes along with what my T is thinking ,,since my T knows me so much better than the pdoc i see every 60 days for about 15 mins LOL ... Im ok about that set up because i know my T will advocate for me .

Unfortunatly i have horrible insomnia and on tons of meds to help me sleep ... and thats the part of Seroquel i love ,,it definatly allows me to sleep better .. But I am not going to wind up having other health issues just because of weight gain from one medication ... I hope to find a solution that will work for less uncontrolled weightgain and keeping my mood in check ...

Thanks everyone its good to know you all can understand )))))))