[Seaswept]

I think I have a lot of friends but I never hear from them, so, do I not have any friends? I feel like I sound crazy right now.

It seems like others "in real" life, not on the computer have a lot of friends. It seems like I am always the one calling them or trying to make plans. When I do see them, which lately is rare, we have a great time and enjoy each others company or so it seems, we laugh a lot and like to go places not just talk on the phone.

I dislike talking on the phone for the most part.

I feel like I do not have a "best friend" which is what i wish I had- someone to talk to everyday-in that case, I guess it would, a lot of the time, have to be on the phone, okay some phone talk is fine lol.

[dejavu65]

Originally Posted by Seaswept

I think I have a lot of friends but I never hear from them, so, do I not have any friends? I feel like I sound crazy right now.

It seems like others "in real" life, not on the computer have a lot of friends. It seems like I am always the one calling them or trying to make plans. When I do see them, which lately is rare, we have a great time and enjoy each others company or so it seems, we laugh a lot and like to go places not just talk on the phone.

I dislike talking on the phone for the most part.

I feel like I do not have a "best friend" which is what i wish I had- someone to talk to everyday-in that case, I guess it would, a lot of the time, have to be on the phone, okay some phone talk is fine lol.

I could comment on and agree with every point you made here. I kinda wish that I could just get together with all of you guys here in someone's backyard once a month or so. That would be perfect!

[~Christina]

My T told me many people with Bipolar has problems with friendships ..

Personally I know I do ..Im not always able to keep lunch dates or even answer calls or texts . The only person I can be completly honest with is my Therapsit ,, at least he understand how i feel and how complicated my mind and problems are.

Good Luck

Good Luck !

Yeah, I get it too. I have one semi distant friend in real life. And that's all. I do have my sister and I am thankful for that.

[Beebizzy]

Me too - have one or two friends in other countries I am sporadically in touch with, and a few here (colleagues) I only see at work sometimes, and that's it. I don't make a lot of effort in the evenings or on weekends to do things, it has be said, mostly because it seems insurmountable, and I just want to hang here.

BB

[Seaswept]

Originally Posted by dejavu65

I could comment on and agree with every point you made here. I kinda wish that I could just get together with all of you guys here in someone's backyard once a month or so. That would be perfect!

That would be nice dejavu, I think we would all really "get" each other, no social faces or trying to act normal or whatever that might be. No judgment.

[Seaswept]

Originally Posted by morethingswrong

My T told me many people with Bipolar has problems with friendships ..

Personally I know I do ..Im not always able to keep lunch dates or even answer calls or texts . The only person I can be completly honest with is my Therapsit ,, at least he understand how i feel and how complicated my mind and problems are.

Good Luck

Good Luck !

I know what you me morethingswrong, I just last week told my therapist he is basically my only friend right now. PAID friend- that felt pretty pathetic.

[Seaswept]

Anika and bee'

A- you and your sister are lucky lately my sister and I have not been getting along.
and B I get the not trying I definitely like that during my depressions.

It gets lonely, don't you think?
Sometimes I really need my time alone, other times I crave company- a bipolar introvert/extrovert/Gemini rising, I think I may have been born under a bad sign lol.

Seaswept... This is something I struggle with in a big way. I contact the very few people I know and never hear back. In social situations, if I like the people, I can be very funny, and they seem to enjoy my company, but then that's that. If I don't know, or can't relate to the people (a big problem), I am very awkward and shy, so that doesn't go anywhere.

The only person I have regular contact with is my sister (3,000 miles away). We IM regularly. We hadn't spoken in about 20 years (long and weird story), and I originally contacted her to find out if our childhood was as I perceived it (it was the thing in therapy at the time, and it's back and current again). Unfortunately, it was. A couple (of many) things in this realm that sure didn't help were being actively isolated, and the constant message that if we talked to anyone, we were bothering them. Yeah, I've got issues. Try as I might, my rational mind has been unable to overcome the second.

I know they mean well, but when people suggest something like, "go out for coffee with a friend", I just want to cry.

[Seaswept]

Thanks you guys for responding at least we know we're not the only ones.

Innerzone- I feel ya on the message- if we talk to anyone we're bothering them, this definitely does not help. I think for me its coming from my own head. I don't want to bother anyone, everyone's busy everyone already has friends etc.

yeah it'd be nice just to go out with someone for coffee especially spur of the moment.

[~Christina]

Seaswept ... I had to laugh at your "paid friend
I found out we are losing our health insurance at the end of the year..when i told my T he said " you look like a deer in the headlights. Stop flipping out ... Ill see you at no charge " needless to say my mouth hit the floor ...

It bothers me something awful that he would do this and not get paid ,,, hes told me before" Im a really complicated bipolar patient " i just looked at him and we both laughed ... I realized right then that he was indeed the only person that I can count on 100% at this point . He really understands bipolar ..

My visit today with him was just a kind of review of how i am doing now versus back in march ..I have indeed come a long way..Im currently changing meds so we both agreed since i hadnt slept well and was pretty irratated at the world we would just see how far I have come in a relativly "short time" .. We usally hit therapy hard but today i didnt have it in me and he knew this med change has me in a funk ..

I wish I had more real friends in the REAL WORLD .. but looking back over my life I have never been one to have a whole crowd of friends ..its way tooo overwhelming to me ..

I have noticed I ramble on ALOT .. sorry to any of you that read all this mess LOL

I sure hope the new med helps me focus my thoughts and actions a little better than I do now ..Its almost embarrasing how it takes me forever to get my thought out ...Like right now ...UGH !

Heres to all of us having eachother to support ,, It really helps

[Travelinglady]

I have a true friend IRL. I have the bipolar disorder--and she really doesn't like talking on the phone. So, we e-mail each other every day. And sometimes we actually get together for coffee. She understands bipolar, since she's had a friend before who was bipolar. She's a real blessing. I've only had her as a friend for maybe a year.....

[dejavu65]

Originally Posted by PAYNE1

I have a true friend IRL. I have the bipolar disorder--and she really doesn't like talking on the phone. So, we e-mail each other every day. And sometimes we actually get together for coffee. She understands bipolar, since she's had a friend before who was bipolar. She's a real blessing. I've only had her as a friend for maybe a year.....

Can I get her email address? HAHAHAHAHAHA

[Travelinglady]

I wish I could give out e-mail addresses! I met her at church, and it took me about a year to get up enough nerve to ask her about getting together for coffee.

[odoyle]

Originally Posted by Seaswept

I think I have a lot of friends but I never hear from them, so, do I not have any friends? I feel like I sound crazy right now.

It seems like others "in real" life, not on the computer have a lot of friends. It seems like I am always the one calling them or trying to make plans. When I do see them, which lately is rare, we have a great time and enjoy each others company or so it seems, we laugh a lot and like to go places not just talk on the phone.

I dislike talking on the phone for the most part.

I feel like I do not have a "best friend" which is what i wish I had- someone to talk to everyday-in that case, I guess it would, a lot of the time, have to be on the phone, okay some phone talk is fine lol.

I stopped hearing from my old "high school friends" a long time ago. And looking back on it, I realize that I always had to be the one to show initiative and call them if I wanted to hang out or do something. As time went on, nothing changed. The distance only grew.

My old "best friend" from high school; he never even bothered to call me when his son was born. I found out a few weeks later in casual conversation. Thanks buddy.

Eventually I kicked all those people off my Facebook. Don't know why I had them on there in the first place. I don't need lots of fake people on my Facebook to make it look like I have lots of friends. Then I de-activated my Facebook.

Now I live a few thousand miles away, and I don't have any real friends. And I'm okay with that.

[Travelinglady]

odoyle, sometimes that dropping off of high school friends just happens--new interests, experiences, moving away, etc.

I think it's nice for everybody to have friends, although it isn't always easy to find them.

[dejavu65]

Originally Posted by PAYNE1

I wish I could give out e-mail addresses! I met her at church, and it took me about a year to get up enough nerve to ask her about getting together for coffee.

Glad you got that though ... I am like her and hate the phone ... I have a friend that I had since High School and when this started hitting me hard, this friend just drifted away. From what I read on here it is all too common.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by dejavu65

Can I get her email address? HAHAHAHAHAHA

good one, this was funny!

[roads]

I would love to be first in someone's world. Know what I mean? Not just that that person would always be there for me, but that I would be the first to hear the good news from that person's life, or called on to lend a hand.
I have 5 good friends, & I count them all blessings. Still, there have been holidays when I've been all alone because, for one reason or another, none could include me. Sorry & all that, won't happen again, you understand, etc. Of course I understood. I did.
Days have gone by when none of them have called, when none returned my calls. I try not to sound desperate, so I seldom call a second time.
Still, most of the time, when I need them they come through.
What I miss is being needed back. They all treat me as if I were a fragile sugar flower on a day-old cake. Great if you don't handle it, stress it out too much. If you do, it will fall apart.
So see? I miss the closeness of friendship on two levels: having someone always there for me, and being the one someone else needs.
Am I being ungrateful? Too sensitive? Or am I plain out just asking for more than the bi-polar world includes?

[allme]

Friends....are quite simply....overated. IMO. Too have many friends would be hell for me. I have a couple of close friends and that is enough for me. And another thing, we all have that feeling that everyone else has it 'figured out' and are social butterflies...yes they exist but not many at all! Do not judge your life based on others. Judge your life on what makes 'you' happy. There is no rule that says you must have 50 friends to be a worthwhile person. I once had alot of pp around me and I hated it...the more ppl I had, the more crap that came with it so I gradually changed my playground and I find that the friendships that I have now have grown stronger because of it...as I now have more time for the ppl that mean something to me.

[AniManiac]

Originally Posted by allme

Friends....are quite simply....overated. IMO. Too have many friends would be hell for me. I have a couple of close friends and that is enough for me. And another thing, we all have that feeling that everyone else has it 'figured out' and are social butterflies...yes they exist but not many at all! Do not judge your life based on others. Judge your life on what makes 'you' happy. There is no rule that says you must have 50 friends to be a worthwhile person. I once had alot of pp around me and I hated it...the more ppl I had, the more crap that came with it so I gradually changed my playground and I find that the friendships that I have now have grown stronger because of it...as I now have more time for the ppl that mean something to me.

There's also a big difference between "friends" and "acquaintances." I have many acquaintances, but few friends, and even fewer close friends.

[allme]

Originally Posted by AniManiac

There's also a big difference between "friends" and "acquaintances." I have many acquaintances, but few friends, and even fewer close friends.

Yes there is....and the same rules apply to them also

[Irreplaceable]

Well, I will say this...There is a difference between "friends" and "acquaintances"....I don't call everyone I know or everyone I socialize with my "friend"...I judge by people's actions among other things....

Second, in general, I have found that the older you get, the harder it will be to make and keep friends...For example, during college, it was waaaaaayyyyy easier for me to make and find friends and acquaintances (this is also during a time in my life where I wasn't as depressed)...Now that I'm an adult, with adult responsibilities, and a family, and a job, and bills, it's harder for me to find and make friends...Because most of my life and time centers around adult responsibilities...And I have also heard alot of other people say how hard it is to find friends when you are older...Meaning, out of college....

And third....And most importantly, being bipolar definetly DEFINETLY henders relationshipships...When you figure in the anxiety, the desire to sleep alot (well for me at least) and the fact that I don't trust people easily and for the most part I have a guard/wall up with mostly everyone, it worsens the situation...I have gone, I would say most of my adult life with friends, that I can count on one hand and still have fingers left...The one friend I had, and lost recently, I don't know what happened with the relationship...But I can tell you, I know alot of it has to do with me...Not all of it but alot...She would always call, want to go out (clubs/bars)...She would sometimes get a little upset, because as someone else mentioned, I wouldn't answer text or calls...Because I was sleep....Look, on the weekends, I'm sleeping...I'm barely leaving the house...If I am, it's to run a quick errand....And I really don't like visitors at my home...At all...So, yea, needless to say, that friendship is over, and I'm ok with it...It is what it is...

[beauflow]

awe- friends- poke them with a stick but yet want them around..... I so hear what you mean all- friendship for me is strife as well- not that I get chaotic friends but I have issues with having relationships with them, the ones that don't understand things, the ones that do and relate... ya know even with the few family members i talk to i get told that i am bothering them- i like call maybe 3 times a year- and I am a bother- whatever- I am a jolly person to talk to B1tch3s LOL sorry I have been odd today

but i hear ya.

[sillyfab]

I have several acquanitances through work and nursing school, and my partner's work.

I have one male best friend who lives an hour and a half away. We've drifted apart since I've moved and he's gotten divorced and has two kids now. But, we're still friends. We keep up with each other via Facebook and email and a phone call maybe once or twice a year.

I have one best girlfriend who is also bipolar. She diagnosed me years ago and I never did anything about it till now. She now knows I'm diagnosed and on medication. We met at an old workplace, but have stayed friends. We email each other and call each other every now and again. We might go out for a night on the town IF we're both in that kind of place at the same time. LOL

I have a school friend who is also bipolar. We don't hang out much, but we do talk to each other a lot about our lives. Not necessarily about BP or its effects, but we share about life in general.

Those are the friends I consider close. I have zero not-close friends. And I have a boatload of acquaintances (all of whom I'd rather remain acquaintances, as I'd rather remain drama-free at this time).