[Resident Bipolar]

I spent half an hour trying to find the words to explain what happened with my dad tonight at 2am to a friend once I'd finally got back to my mum's safe yet distraught at 3am or so. So I'm going to copy and paste what I put to him.

At my dad's. Was on the phone to a mate in the hallway tonight, and he came in and started shouting. Actually SHOUTING **** like "If you wanna kill yourself ****ing do it. Go and do it, but not in my ****ing house." "Oh we'll have a ****ing good christmas without you". "You're not a son anymore. It's those weirdo friends you hang around with, the McDonalds ****ing crew". "You rip chunks out of your arm, you're not even human anymore. You disgust me". Then he was like "I'll ****ing belt the **** out of you." He dragged me to the sofa and told me to go sleep and then he said he was going to sleep in there and keep an eye on me, but he was shouting. Then I met his eyes for like, 2 seconds, and he said "DONT ****ING LOOK AT ME. I'LL BLACKEN YOUR EYE". So yeah I kinda ran away from his because he's pumped on steroids and he's been in prison in the past for GBH so I legged it, then was out in the freezing cold at 2am in corby. Then called mum 10 times before she answered and had to get a taxi home.

Maverick (past sexual partner and now a very close friend) is a hero. He probably saved my life tonight. If he wasn't there on the phone afterwards comforting me and giving me advice on how to get home or somewhere safe, I wouldn't be alive right now, I don't think I would. I didn't tell him at the time I was on the phone with him because I didn't want to worry him even more. But I was standing at the edge of the dual carriagway...assessing the speed of all the passing vehicles. And literally my first thought when I saw how icy it was was "I bet it would be so difficult for a car to stop on these roads". At one point, after I'd hung up on Maverick to have a cry, I was standing by the side of the motorway, reading to jump. And then he called back, and he just made it so clear that he cares, the first person to ever do that, and I stepped back and went back on the sidewalk.


I wrote this message to myself:

"Sorry dad...but if you're going to threaten me with violence, and then call my FRIENDS - the people that have brought me back from a very scary place, "weirdo's" and say they're no good for me...you can get ****ED. Yeah you've been here for me a lot recently. But where were you during my childhood? You were at work. Nearly EVERY ****ING DAY. I went through the majority of my childhood seeing you twice a week, and most of those times all I could hear at night; other than my own crying; was you shouting at and bossing around my mum.

You're really not a nice person, dad. :'("

[Trippin2.0]

(((RB))) So sorry you had such a terrible night, I don't have any advice, but know that I'm here for you. Please stay safe,as you pointed out there ARE people who care, and I'm 1 of them.XOXO

[roads]

I'm glad you're relatively okay & safe. Seems to me that "dad" is best avoided--you've got a real friend, why bother with a whacked-out pseudo dad? You deserve so much better.

Please take care.

[~Christina]

So sorry you have had to go thru all this mess ..
Im glad your in a safe place ... Thank goodness you reached out to Maverick when you did..Its amazing how just knowing someone really honestly loves you can make a life saving decision in your life.

(((( Hugs )))) : love:

[Rosie23]

I'm so sorry. He's your Dad and of course you need him to be more than that for you. But if he simply isn't able to be supportive of you then going to your Mom or any friend is better.
And any friend who comes in the middle of the night is a good friend to have.

[AniManiac]

Wow, what a mess. It's hard to be the bigger person than your parent, isn't it? I agree with everyone else, lean on your good friends and stay out of your dad's toxic household. Great job on reaching out to a friend when you needed it - it can be tough to do, but we're all glad you did (and are still here!)

I'm glad you have somewhere else to go - will you be able to stay with your mum, or will you have to find another place to live before long?

[tnlibrarian]

I'm sorry. The only advice I can give is to find somewhere safe to go and make sure an adult accompanies you to get your stuff out of the house. If you can go when your Dad is not there. My other piece of advice to tell an adult what your Dad said to you and any abuse he's laid on you in the past. No matter what you've done, said or what your sexuality is--no matter what, period--nobody deserves to be abused, especially at the hands of the people who are supposed to protect you.

[SophiaG]

Is maverick someone here on PC? If so, I am so glad they were there for you!

[onlymedid]

First of all I am so glad to hear you are safe.
Next, I have to say something and I don't want it to come out the wrong way, but I am so glad you didn't step in front of a car because you won't only be hurting yourself, but the person who could have hit you. I don't know what I would do if someone stepped in front of my car and I hurt them. I would be distraught. Just a thought.
Please stay safe, stay away from your dad and talk to your mom. I bet you she will listen to you. She sounds like a safe person.

[Tosspot]

((((ResidentBipolar))))
Reading your post made my eyes starting brimming over. It sounds like an awful night. Glad you are safe and alive. Stick with your friends when family fails. And don't forget you have all of us on PC. We're here for you.

Originally Posted by Tosspot

((((ResidentBipolar))))
Reading your post made my eyes starting brimming over. It sounds like an awful night. Glad you are safe and alive. Stick with your friends when family fails. And don't forget you have all of us on PC. We're here for you.

Yes. Resident Bipolar What a horrific night. I'm so very glad you are safe and that Maverick was there for you! Please stay safe. Surround yourself with those who care for you. I hardly know what else to say except to echo what the others have said and to let you know that you will be very much in my thoughts.

I've been meaning to tell you, and this is as good a time as any...I think you are a very lovely person. You are THE most caring and well-spoken 17 y.o. I've ever had the pleasure to meet, even if it is only on the computer. Seriously.

[faerie_moon_x]

I'm so glad you got out of there and so glad you had a friend to talk to. Please don't take anything your father says seriously! He sounds like he has his own troubles and is extremely toxic and abusive!

From every responose I've seen you give on this site you are a great person and fully deserving of life and happiness!

Now that you're 17 can you make the choice to not see your father? I know in the states you can choose to stop visitation at 16, especially if that person is emotionally abusive! You do not need to be put in that situation ever again! My advice is to not speak with him for however long you think you shouldn't, even if that means never again. It sounds like he was terrible to your mom, too. So, I don't see why he deserves the pleasure of your company.

[Resident Bipolar]

Thank you everybody, for your support.

Unfortunately I'm in a bad place at the moment so cannot reply to you all individually...though every single one of you are amazing, and I appreciate your support so much.

Will hopefully be posting again very soon.
RB ♥

That is horrible and I'm so sorry to hear that you had to endure that. I truly hope things get better for you and that your dad comes to his friggin senses.

[Tosspot]

Awaiting further posts RB.. Hope you are ok... ((((RB))))

I hope you are ok RB, and safe.

A horrific night indeed. I do like what you wrote to him, because it shows you know you don't deserve this. And you don't. It's really hard to have be the bigger person with our parents. And it's also very hard to have to cut the contact for our own sake and health. Your post sounded all to familiar to me, and my own father. My heart goes out to you. I'm so glad Maverick was there for you and that you are safe.

Let us know how you are doing when you can. Know that you were brave, and that you are cared for.