Mixed Episodes

I was wondering, how would those of you who have experienced 'mixed episodes' describe them? I've read online all they entail, etc, but I want to know how someone going through one would describe them.

I think I may be bipolar but my problem is this - I don't recall ever being 'manic'. I've had times where I feel great and kinda overly happy I guess but I think that's normal. You know, sometimes you just get in a good mood for no reason. You smile, you laugh, you have the good jokes, you wanna talk a lot...I've experienced that. But I just don't consider it manic.

But recently I went through something between mid January and February where basically...I can't even describe it. I was depressed as hell, but my mind wouldn't stop thinking. I was ALWAYS thinking thinking thinking about one thing or another. I was feeling all these things at once (anger, sadness, frustration, apathy) but I would never ever be able to truly describe the way I felt.

I've always been able to get through the "depressive" times because I knew eventually I'd be out of it and feeling good, maybe even great. Sometimes I can go all day without 'thinking too much' and I get all this stuff done, go places, see people...I just feel awesome. Then out of nowhere (even though I KNOW it will return because it always does) the depression. Getting out of bed? Too much. During my last depressive thing I failed a bunch of test (didnt care about the class, test, grades, school...) and I barely ever got dressed. It was really bad, one of the worst I've had in a while. But now? I'm great. I'm doing my homework, getting things done, writing my papers, laughing, going out, being silly.

I don't know, maybe I'm over reacting. I just feel like sometimes I'm on this rollercoaster and I never know what emotion I'll wake up feeling from one day to the next. Sometimes when it gets bad from one hour to the next. Stress can be a trigger, but I've also noticed that sometimes it can be summer and I have no school or stress and everythings going great when I crash.

Anywho, I was wondering about what you all felt to see if maybe what I was going through was a mixed episode or something? I don't know. I just want some answers or some insight. I appreciate you all reading my long ramblings.

Hi, am going through a manic stage right now, driving my hubby and everyone else crazy, but I don't care cuz I feel sooooooooooooooooo good, called a friend and left a message for her to call back, then when phone rang I answered saying "Yeah what do ya want , it was a telamarketer boy did he hang up fast, so IMHO it is good to cycle

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hereiam said:
I think I may be bipolar but my problem is this - I don't recall ever being 'manic'. I've had times where I feel great and kinda overly happy I guess but I think that's normal. You know, sometimes you just get in a good mood for no reason. You smile, you laugh, you have the good jokes, you wanna talk a lot...I've experienced that. But I just don't consider it manic.

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Be aware that mania is not always manifested in the stereotypical "awake for 5 days straight" type visualised by pop culture. I get hypomanic, similar to what you describe here.

This would be important to bring to the attention of any physician who might treat you for depression, though. Many of the anti-depressants will send a bipolar into a psychotic episode. When my first doc tried to treat me with AD's, I ended up in hospital.

As to mixed episodes, they're very hard to describe, and even harder to experience. Elation and depression, lethargy and nervous energy, benevolence and anger, all rolled into the same creature. I say creature, because my mind seems to become that of an animal in a cage with all this going on, yet no means of escape.

\V/

Thanks vertigo & nothemama.

I think I experience mixed episodes almost everyday. Sometimes I will be driving and I will feel like I have the most wonderful life and I can do anything...it only takes one glance at a man and a young girl at bus stop and I began sink inside I think about my single father and how when he was poor we would ride the bus or walk to the grocery store and then I am dying inside with loneliness it only takes a whole 30 seconds to go from elation to complete heartache. I don't know what it is. I feel like I can never escape myself. Does this sound at all similiar to your experiences? I wonder myself about it. I don't really know what happens to me. My shrink just diagnosed me with bipolar disorder and i admit I feel a little traumatized by the label. I can't even get myself to take my medication because of the stigma attached to the diagnosis. I am professional. I have job and a relationship and a dog. I am not some crazy looney lady.

My name is Lia and I was diagnosted with bipolar disorder about a year ago. I am a rapid cycler meaning I have mixed episodes as well. Experiencing mixed episodes is both scary and dangerous. It's scary to feel on top of the world and then just a few hours later feel like you don't know why your living. It takes a long time to accept the fact that your ill but I give you all the credit in the world for taking action and getting help. Things will get easier. just be open minded when you go to see the doctor and know that medication can help you but it will take time. You can do it! I hope you feel better soon and know your not alone.

I don't think rapid cycling counts as a mixed episodes. I think they are times when you have both symptoms of mania and symptoms of depression. Like on time where a could not sit down because I had so much energy, I couldn't concentrate to do anything, and I had thoughts racing through my head at the speed of light. Except the thoughts were of a negative nature, reflecting the fact that I felt worthless and unlovable. I was very depressed, suicidal, and yet I had many symptoms of mania (or hypomania.)

Unfortunately, they are both difficult to deal with, perhaps rapid cycling just a little less so. I have, in the past suffered extreme depths of depression in the course of things, but nothing was as bad as a mixed period about this time last year.

It was characterized by furious amounts of energy short circuiting in agressive emotional bursts in my brain. I never knew from one second to the next if I was going to laugh or cry. It's not something I would wish on anyone.

The best thing to do is see a doctor and try to keep some notes or something of your experiences until then.

I'm a rapid cycler, with mostly mixed episodes. When I first developed bipolar I only had mixed episodes.

Usually the episodes manifested themselves with a sensation of disconnect between my mind and body -- like my mind would be racing and energized, and my body would be utterly lethargic, to the point where I couldn't even hold my head up. I felt physically exhausted, and like all of my energy was trapped inside.

My emotions were all over the place, which seemed to create the overall effect of a kind of numb, mechanically-driven feeling. Like a buzzing feeling, stimulated and detached.

Has anybody else noticed the difference between hormonal moodiness and neurologically-induced moodiness? I've been in the process of switching birth control pills, and the mood stabilizer that I'm on is UTTERLY ineffective at stabilizing hormonal mood swings (which makes sense). I think more doctors should stress checking your hormone levels (and regulating them) as an additional way to stabilize oneself. Anybody agree?

Sorry to get off topic, hope you can find the med/therapy combo that's right for you... sounds like you're on the right track by being attentive to and proactive with your mental health.

Jessie