mixed state??

i don't know if this belongs in this section, but i have bipolar so i figured i would just post it on here.

i have my fair shares of mania/hypomania and depressive states in my cycles.
recently i noticed that i've been having (more?) dysphoric manic states lately.
most of the time i would start out with the euphoric and it would turn into dysphoric. i do notice it and usually try to catch myself, but i don't know how fast this transition happens. so when i get to the dysphoric state i am extremely agitated, talking really fast (and when i stutter while i'm talking fast i get super irritated), can't sit still/anxious, pessimistic. i also get angry/irritated when i'm talking to other people and they don't understand what i'm saying or if they disagree with me.

since this past weekend i fell into (i think) a mixed state, but it's different than the dysphoric mania that i usually have and i'm having a hard time pulling out of it.
i'm still agitated/irritable, pessimistic, can't sit still, but i'm tired (but can't take a nap), and keep switching from angry to sad all day.

would this "state" still be dysphoric mania? or something else?

I dont know the answer but since your post is not getting much reflection, I thought I'd bump it up to the top.

My thought is only this, does it matter what the "label" is of how you are feeling? For me, the important thing would be doing whatever I could to deal with the problem (it sounds like it is a problem for you, not trying to put words in your mouth).

It definitely sounds mixed. It COULD be what some call "agitated depression" or whatever. Either way, you sound ****ing miserable & hopefully the fog lifts soon. I know I turn into a mighty ***** when I get like that! It's no fun

Have you contacted your doctor? This doesn't sound good. I don't know what to call this state either, but I feel would best be closely watched. Are you working with a therapist? I
was thinking someone who is familiar with your baseline could provide some objectivity.

Have you identified any stressors or triggers or changes that might be helping to precipitate this switch?

I'm sorry to ask so many questions when you are feeling like what sounds like the pits. Hang in there.

m still agitated/irritable, pessimistic, can't sit still, but i'm tired (but can't take a nap),

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That to me is just another depressive state, I get sleep all the time depressions, those are easy, if depression could be easy, and when it gets really bad that. I call it hell and if it gets worse, I'll believe I've died, am in hell and everyone and thing I experience is part of eternal suffering. It is painful to say the least.

My point? I know where you're at, been there and I'm not there now. See your doctor, he might not be able to make it stop but, he might be able to put you on drugs with such strong side effects that will distract you from this while the phase passes. Remember, you have bipolar, no mood is going to last forever. Ride the wave.

I have gotten like this recently. I even blew up on my daughter, and my husband and almost left to move in with my sister. Just like that I was going to go. I cant believe how impulsive I can be. I feel horrible about it now, but I appoligised. I really hate this disease. Its so nasty and can get so out of my control. I have never experienced this until recently though. Im usually just down right depressed or flying high. I miss flying high so much. Right now Id give anything to get out of this depression but I dont want the anger back.

AW.. i have lived most of my life like that. Its the worst. Im diagnosed bipolar 2 mixed.. lately iv been numb whatever that is.. You should talk with your doctor. Hopefully family and friends understand that you dont mean anything when you snap at them. All my thoughts and prayers. I hope it dont last to long.

@blossom12 - yeah i realize that labeling it isn't the main issue, but the fact that i didn't know how to explain how i'm feeling was freaking me out even more. i've been going to the gym and working out everyday and other things in hoping that it will level me out and it didn't seem to do much..

@sparklehorse - i haven't contacted my dr. yet, i've been meaning to give her a call but i keep putting it off or forgetting (stupid thing to forget i know..) i've also recently got cut of from my previous insurance coverage (through my mom's work, but she got laid off) and now i'm in the process of getting my own individual coverage. thankfully my dr's been nice enough to still give me my meds and check up on me. as far as a therapist, i talked to a therapist we have at schoool (college) and got some good feedback. i honestly can't pin point a trigger, i've been trying to figure it out; but i think i just felt/feel overwhelmed with everything which always seems to be happening at once. i guess it's because i keep getting mad at myself for being sad and i need to just let myself be sad...

@cocoabeans - i keep telling myself that it'll pass and i know it will. it just sucks not being able to control it

@moremi - my swings were also sad lows to happy/fly highs too- i know any sort of mania isn't good, but i would rather be manic (euphoric) any day..

Its tough, the mixed part. When I come out of it I feel horrible for the things I have said and done, the way I treated the ones that love me and support me. I carry more guilt b/c of hurting those that are close to me, I worry about the things I say and what it might do to my kids... Its rough.. I dont wish that on anyone. anxiety meds do help with the agitation though, I dont get them PRN.. somedays i dont need them at all.. others i might have to double up.. ya never can tell what the day will hold.

i know exactly what you mean. i won't want to talk, because once i start talking i'm afraid i might start crying or get snappy. i still try to do my daily routine as if nothing's wrong, but it's so agonizing. i'm supposed to be on lorazepam; at first i didn't know why my dr was rxing them to me, but now i know...

I've experienced the same symptoms in the states you mentioned, one being a dysphoric mania, the other being a somewhat mixed state.

But to build off of @blossom12's point, what I try to do is record symptoms in my mood journal in as much detail as possible during confusing states like these. For me, it's helped me understand what's going on in my mind, and by writing it down, it becomes easier to explain to someone else.

my dr. has always been telling me to keep a journal and write down my feelings especially when i have ups and downs, but i kept forgetting and didn't feel like writing. a friend suggested that i should have an online journal (private) if i don't feel like writing (with pen and paper), and i started a month ago. i guess i should use it as a mood journal too.

I only recently started with the mixed episodes---that's what scared me enough to finally allow myself to be referred to a psychiatrist (and get the correct diagnosis). I always used to know when I was depressed, and when I was euphoric; this time, I didn't know if I was depressed or if I was irritable, anxious, agitated, hostile, and unable to eat/sleep/concentrate just for the hell of it. Never went through anything like that before, and I hope once I'm stable again that I never have to experience it a second time.

i know exactly what you mean. being in a 'mixed state' is still new to me. not even a year ago manic and depressive states were the only ones i had to watch out for. i was either really happy (jumping on everything; literally) or really sad and down in the dumps. i had some changes within the past year and i'm starting to wonder if those changes have something to do with being in this new state; i still don't know for sure though..

Stress, from either good OR bad changes, can *definitely* change your typical symptoms. I've only had occasional visual/aural/olfactory disturbances before, but after moving in with my boyfriend & away from my old drama-filled house, they spawned into full blown hallucinations & I began having delusions.

i totally agree. my mind does not like change at all even if its a good change; the fact that something has changed freaks me out. i try to control it, but it's hard..