"I AM" or "I HAVE" bipolar??

I use "I AM" because it's so much easier and I'm lazy, although I think I also use "I HAVE" just as much. It's not really an issue for me. I mean, I know I'm not my disorder, but it feel like a strong part of me, it is part of my "character", it colors my opinions and values and how I live my life, and has a large effect on many of the decisions I make. I'd say thats enough effect to count as part of my personality.

Compleatly aggreed. I always said manic depression until I got told to stop. Apparently it was offencive to my friend? They don't even have mental illness... sometimes I wonder if "normal" people take more offense to stuff like this than "sick" people do (sorry to use those terms admittedly I hate being called sick, even though sometimes that's a very accurate way of putting it)

I like how she puts it.

I love how you put this, I really relate to it. Until I can control it, I feel like I am it.

I use them interchangeably, to be honest. I am bipolar in the same way that a person with diabetes is diabetic. It's largely a matter of semantics, and while I view it as one more in a list of things I've experienced in my life, it really just depends on how I feel that day. Sometimes I want a little more distance, especially when I'm trying to explain bipolar disorder to someone else.

I respect those who are offended with how the illness is phrased relative to themselves. Personally, I don't care either way since it doesn't change how unraveled I feel.

Whether we use the phrase "I am" or "I have" Bipolar Disorder, I still feel short changed. The concept of bipolar as a psychiatric disorder somehow evades the existential reality that what I live with is a whole lot bigger than the description summarized in a diagnostic manual. In the absence of a better short description, I reluctantly go along with either term, knowing that misunderstanding is practically inevitable until I have had plenty of time to paint a clearer picture.

I say I am bipolar personally but I do understand both sides of the debate I mean when some one has cancer they don't say I am cancer or I am aids but with mental illness it just seems a better fit to me to say I am bipolar

Is this a meant to be a joke?

Tsunami is abso-****ing-lutely right! Hahah. But as far as I'm concerned about the "political correctedness"? A disease or disorder is just as much an aspect of you as any trait. You act differently because of it, it affects multiple aspects of your life... It's just as prevalent. It's not a matter of "owning" your disorder. It's just splitting hairs with the damn wording!! Lol, but the fact remains either way.

i say "i have". apparently i kept referring to my bipolar as "it" during a therapy session this week.. i don't know why..

Say whichever you feel comfortable saying. I use both all the time.

It should be up to you whichever you prefer saying.

Yep. I agree.

When I refer to people with bipolar disorder in general, I try to nearly always say "people with bipolar" or "people who have bipolar" in deference to those who'd take offense if I say "bipolars" (which for the purposes of writing is just more concise and to the point, but whatever.)

In my experience the people who prefer "have" are much more uptight about the whole thing. That's just a general observation and could be off, however. No offense intended to anyone here.

I think you're spot on, Ani. People who feel that a specific type of wording has ANY effect on their disorder usually have more of a problem with it... If you need to word something specifically so you feel more in control, that's a key signal that you're not comfortable with yourself. Not like I expect anyone to love being Bipolar, as it's not all unicorns & rainbows, but embracing oneself (flaws included) is a lot more than semantics. It's internal. And if you're fine with yourself internally, why does it matter how you word it?

well, I think it largerly depends on the context.

I hate when people say "bipolars do this and that" as if we had the same computer program installed into us. It is as offensive as saying "Black do this and Jews do that", because it is dehumanizing and stereotyping.

But for a person, their background is part of their identity and not really in negative way. After all, even though we don't say "I am cancer" (but maybe in some language this expression actually exists, not sure), having cancer forms your experience and impacts you profoundly.



Bit OT... but I never understood why some people get offended to question "what are you depressed about?" and argument that you don't ask people "what are you diabetic about". But what shall then we say to a "I am depresed"?. If I told my friend I am depressed and they instead of asking why started to babbling about serotine and dopamine and neurons, I'd smack them (my friend who is a psychology student actually once did this, but well, I am sympathetic to professional deformation...).

I say both, have... and am. However I only say either because I am trying to convey what is going on at a given time. Neither are how I actually feel. I don't actually feel like I have bipolar, or I am bipolar. I am a whole lot more than bipolar and most of my "problems" are more complicated than bipolar, it isn't the only factor. Ok I don't know if that's making a lot of sense, but even when I am having a mood problem there is usually more than meets the eye than just the bipolar. So in my head when I think of myself I seldom see bipolar, I just see me. I am what I have always known, before the dx and after. Maybe it doesn't help that I constantly question Bipolar, am I ? Is it just a shared collection of "symptoms" that a group of people share for whatever reasons? I am not completely sold on the chemical science behind this, maybe because no meds have ever helped me that much. I don't know, but I know that I don't feel like "It". I identify myself as me, even if I had cancer, I don't think I would identify myself as a cancer patient, not in the mind.

Am I crazy for thinking that others feel the same as me? I don't think so. So I really don't care if you say I am or have. If I say either one, does that really give you any insight to how I feel or identify? Absolutely freakin' not. That would be very misleading. Also why does it really matter how you identify with it. Is there a right or wrong?

"I have bipolar." Is what you say to employers, friends, when it comes up it everyday conversation. This removes "you" from "bipolar" and when you do that, you allow for a more positive image. It isn't political correctness. It is presenting the opportunity for your personality to bleed through, past the stigma. Words are powerful and by choosing a phrase or word, you are affecting thought. Just look at advertising and marketing.

Bipolar is a negative thing, and effects people in many different ways. Bipolar may have an impact on "who you are" as a person but, not in the same way it does for someone with a different personality, set of experiences etc. Who is impacted by bipolar. Bipolar is not a trait as cancer is not a trait.

As for the whole "I'm bipolar" and "I'm depressed" discussion, "depressed" describes not only clinical forms but, everyday feelings. Feelings of depression are completely normal, common and are not disordered or ill. In everyday speech, sying "I'm depressed." Is like saying, "I'm annoyed." Or "I'm happy." It isn't who you are but, this does effectively express an intimate experience. Bipolar, on the other hand, is not a feeling or emotion. Bipolar is a mood disorder and everyone here should know what that means.

Farmergirl:

I know cancer attacks personality as well. Of course it does when you are confrontede with your own mortality, I am absolutely aware of that. Do you have bipolar yourself`? Because what I meant was that when you're manic it's an out-pf-body experience, you can't control yourself and do all kinds of weird things you would NEVER do if you where normal. That's alienating to your own self-concept.

So I know, and I think people with cancer very often suffer traumatic depressions, but so do we. I only said that it attacks personality in a DIFFERENT way, so as to say people with cancer don't usually suddenly get manic. I know cancer is serious and of course it affects your whole world view. I would not try to jugde which is worst, they're both AWFUL, but let me say that bipolars are very much confronted with their mortality as well.

I've had suicidal thoughts for about 2 years of my life EVERY day in that time and YES, that attacks personality as well. So I don't think you can judge which of them is worst, it's just hoping they both will soon be out of the world.

If, for some reason, I decide to tell someone, which I rarely do because of stigma and stereotypes.. but if I did, I would say I AM bipolar, because I AM manic depressive.. I AM a living rollercoaster. I don't just have a living rollercoaster of emotions, I AM a living rollercoaster of emotions. It is what I AM. It is not a possession. It is not something I picked up at the dollar store, nor is it something I can probably get rid of, or pass onto someone else. Therefore, it is ME. It is who I AM.

Besides.. me without any type of mental illness would be even more boring than it already is.

Bipolarbear21: Yes, I do have bipolar disorder myself. Why would I even comment if I don't?

Someone in an earlier post (and I can't check right now because of the format I'm posting from) made a comment that cancer doesn't affect people's personalities like bipolar does. I simply tried to correct a common misunderstanding which you just confirmed in your post. To say that sure cancer patients deal with depression and perhaps some suicidal thoughts but that is the extent of it is to place all cancers and cancer patients in the same box. If someone said all people with bipolar disorder are the same, people around here would be incensed or in the least work to correct the misconception. That was all I was doing.

My sister died a year ago tommorow, and writing this post is taking a very long time because my hands won't stop shaking. I'm way too close to this topic right now. Due to a blood disorder directly resulting from the chemo she received to treat her breast cancer, she underwent a bone marrow transplant. She had more chemo to kill her immune system prior to the transplant. Because she had no immune system, an inborn virus that we all have attacked her brain, leaving her with absolutely no short-term memory. I had no idea how much memory and personality are connected until that day. I think I do have a better grasp of the effects of Alzheimer's on patients and families.

Overnight, my sister as I had known her my entire life was gone. The once funny and confident woman became depressed and frightened and confused, not because she was dying (she didn't remember why she was there at all) but because she didn't understand what was going on, she didn't know where she was, she didn't know that team of men and women who had been in her room every day for months. She fell into fits of violence because of all of these changes to her memory. She had no memory even of her grandson. She could not be left alone because if she wandered out of her room she was at risk of exposure to infection, so I spent weeks sleeping in her hospital room terrified that I wouldn't hear her get up in the night.

We physically lost my sister a year ago, but we lost her months before that when she ceased to be who she really was. And she never had a chance. No therapy or mood stabilizers or antidepressants would ever give her the opportunity to come back to stability.

There is so much talk on this thread about who is right and who is wrong. People deal with this illness,which presents differently in each of us. Perhaps more understanding that we are each on our own journey needs to be acknowledged rather than saying someone who uses "I am" is over-identifying with the illness, or that those of us who prefer "I have" are simply being politically correct or are in denial somehow.

Mehhh the politically correct way to say it is "I have bipolar", but I just say "I am bipolar", even when I mean "I have bipolar". Because I am totally against believing that bipolar has any control of me and what I do. It may influence me, but everything i do is my decision and my illness is never to blame.

Farmergirl:

Never heard about that kind of cancer, so actually didn't know it existed. I apologized if I offended you in any kind of way. I didn't mean to say cancer doesn't attack personality, but I never heard of this kind before you told me (my mom is a doctor, working with cancer patients). I am sorry for your loss. It sounds absolutely devastating. I can't even begin to imagine how you feel, and of course personality kind of disappears when you become so disoriented. Well, didn't realize this. Sorry.

I alternate between "I am" and "I have". I also use phrases like "suffer from", "struggle with" and "battle". When I'm feeling particularly strong, I identify as a "bipolar survivor".

My mother refers to it (bipolar) as my "thing".... "Is it your thing again?" she asks.

I have similar sentiments. I'm not convinced mania and depression are polar opposites of the same concept, as I frequently have them together.

... and since Bipolar Disorder seems to be seen by many as the "flavour of the month" at the moment, I'm in no hurry to blurt out that I either have it or am it. I don't know a lot of people who talk proudly in the media, claiming they are manic depressive. It seems to me to be a better vehicle for opening discussion with anyone who genuinely wants to know what is going on. If they really don't care, so what! Move on, and they probably won't label me as a self pitying sympathy seeker then either. LOL

I'm aware there is an argument for many bipolar II folks who don't feel full blown mania is very descriptive of their situation, and therefore would feel bipolar is a better description than manic depression for them.

I think of "manic depressive" as the way I am, rather than a disease I have. Not that it makes much practical difference - I have to manage it systemically anyway and learn adaptive behaviour, thinking and lifestyle, which seems to go well beyond what comes to my mind when categorising it as an illness.
On the counter side, there are family and friends who know me well, and consider it an illness - the best explanation for them. At least if they know I am being treated, they feel I am taking their frustration and pain seriously.

Huh. I never really consciously thought about the distinction. But after reading Trippin2.0's reply, I'm leaning toward 'I Am.'

The reason I say "I have bipolar" instead of "I am bipolar" is because I am not made of bipolar. I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, a writer, a singer, an artist, a woman, a joker. I just also happen to have an illness.

It is like if someone has cancer they say "I have cancer." They don't say "I'm cancerous." Another example is I work in a diabetes education center. We no longer use the term "Diabetic." Instead it is: "I have diabetes." The idea is that just because you have a chronic illness doesn't mean that the illness defines you."

Another way to look at it. If I'm having psychosis, I want to say "I'm having psychosis" and not "I'm psychotic," because societally saying "I'm psychotic" has come to mean "Violently crazy" as a slang term, even though that is not really what it means.

I don't get offended when someone says "I'm bipolar." Everyone can say what they want. But I personally say "I have bipolar." And that's why.

Hi

I say I have Bipolar Disorder because I think Bipolar Disorder sounds better (to me & for me) than just- "I have Bipolar" or "I am Bipolar".

I have a disorder. I can go into psychosis pretty fast if I get manic and it is not treated quickly.

Years ago, when diagnosed, it was the really fun euphoric high but the longer I've had this, the worse it has gotten. So its not some part of my personality. It can be scary.

I did not know it was "politically incorrect" to say "I'm Bipolar". If we have been diagnosed, we can say it anyway we want. It doesn't matter what others say.