I wonder if I really am bipolar..

Long story short (for those that didn't see my previous posts in feb) I was diagnosed bipolar but have totally doubted the diagnoses. I mean at the time the symptoms kinda seemed like it, but the reason I doubt it more than anything is the fact that i'm only on Effexor now.

Which has taken me out of my deep anxious slump. Not completely, not greatly. I still get moments where I feel quite 'out there' but nothing like before I was on it. Maybe I was misdiagnosed.

I'm just curious if anyone else feels that way. Or if anyone that truly is bipolar can be on an anti d alone? I was fairly sure you couldn't be.. I know at a higher dose of Effexor my racing thoughts and sleep gets really bad. I still have the racing thoughts, they're kinda always there. But I find my sleep is somewhat better than when I was in that deep dark hole a couple months back.

I guess I still doubt that i'm right about being misdiagnosed too, when I get the super hyper out there mood swings occasionally. Either way I feel so much better on the Effexor, but not in a 'i'm manic' kind of way. Just a less depressed version of myself I think.

My mom is currently only taking effexor. She is not under the care of a pdoc currently and her gp prescribed effexor for her and its not acting the way an antidepressant would in me if I were to take it alone and she is most def bipolar. Shes been on it alone for about a month now.

Yes, it's called having a low self-esteem with anxiety. You start to doubt whether you're cool enough to be bipolar. You look in the mirror, you hesitate. It's a standard of excellence, so of course, you're going to sometimes question whether you got hired based on your resume, the color of your skin, the size of your penis, etc

This is the true test.

Take a piece of paper and start writing down all the stupid, insane crap you've done in your life, list them all out, and if you can see a picture of a deranged person, then you're probably doodling and you can't follow simple directions. But post your results anyway, we need a drawing/art thread here

I've been on mine alone for 7 weeks now. I've been on it in the past and seemed to be the med that worked the best for me, minus the times I seemed to get manic on it (which I later found out was probably due to the bipolar that i'm doubting I have lol)

I had some pretty out there times for the last couple of months of last year that ended up in me seeing a pdoc and the diagnoses but I kinda ran away from it and i'm coping alot better on the Effexor.

Other anti d's i've had are pretty much all bad news for me though. Especially the SSRI's. I think my brain is just so indecisive and thoughtful. Nothing new really lol.

Trust me, i'd win last prize in the drawing thread lol. My best drawing would be some stick figure sheep with a cloud as it's body.

I think to start with I didn't want to be bipolar, as it's such a scary sounding thing. Even having my close friends say ohhh no you can't be bipolar, and them having generally no clue about it either. Guess I ran away from the diagnoses and seem to be coping just on an anti d which in my mind goes 'oh yeah you're only depressed/anxious'

My head is pretty scrambled today, i've had a few big life changing things happen in the past week which is probably what got my lurking self back on here (even though I swore i'd stay away as i'm 'not bipolar') and here I am. The jumpy thoughts and completely changing my mind about things 10 times in a day. Things like that. I've been contemplating studying 'something' and changed my preferences at least 5 times in one day. Then the next day did it again, so I haven't been the 'normal' person i've been hoping I magically am now.

Not to mention the warped conversations i've gotten into with people that just seem to think I have an 'awesome imagination' and that's not even 1/4 of the goodies tucked away inside my brain. And once again i've gone completely off the main topic.

I've been dx twice, and it's been years and I still question it. I know I have have it, but I still go through periods of thinking I am fine an just need to get it together. When a really serious mood hits though, no denying it, I do have bipolar. I think a lot of us do this.

Maybe if you do write down your symptoms and times you have been depressed or manic. It might look a little clearer on paper. People do get misdiagnosed, but if you have clear manic or hypomanic periods, well then it's likely not just depression.

I doubted for a long time time that I was bipolar even after I was diagnosed and put on mood stabilizers. I was still pretty sure it was "just" depression because I didn't think I had ever had a manic or even hypomanic episode. Looking way back before I was diagnosed with anything I can see some times that I may have been manic. After my most recent episode that I'm still trying to recover from, I no longer have any doubt. I was in a full blown mania; I'm officially bipolar. Listen to your docs, who may have a clearer perspective than you. I agree with the advice some of the others here have given - try putting things down on paper and see how it looks in black and white. Best of luck to you either way.

O.M.G. This is why I love this board...You all ALWAYS manage to say/type things that i NEVER thought of...

First of all, I was diagnosed as only "severly depressed" but I feel as if I am bipolar. Damn near every bipolar symptom, I have. When I was very young, my grandmother told my dad I had it. I believe that she had it, my dad has it, and my uncle (his brother) had it. I relate waaaaay more to people in this section of the board vs. the depression section. There are a million other reasons why I think I'm bipolar, but not enough time to get into.

When I was diagnosed with severe depressions, PDOC described me as having "low self esteem" (I think I'm the flyest thing walking so I didn't understand that low self esteem just doesn't mean how you think you look). Anyway, he prescribed Effexor...It didn't really do anything for me. I didn't feel different or any better...Felt the same, and stopped taking it.

What you said Crazy, that describes how I have been feeling, in a sense. It's like, I know what I am and how I feel and what category that falls under, but I doubt it from time to time. I was wondering why I was doubting myself so much when the signs are all there and I believe in how I feel. But the issue is the low self esteem thing which has caused me to have doubts.

@ Bow...I want to ask a PDOC for a mood stabilizer. My reactions are ridiculous right now. I read stories on here and people who have extreme mania and I didn't think I ever had mania until I really think about some of the things I have done in the past.

After reading so much on here, I think I'm not alone in how I feel. Some days I feel OK. I'm thinking, "I got this! I can keep it under control!". These are the days where I start to believe that I'm making things up. But then there are days where I totally flip. My fiance told me last weekend that the look on my face when I flip, I change to a different person. Like I'm on drugs or something. Moments like that make me realize that something isn't right. Up and down up and down. That's how I feel...

Edit: Forgot to add I have only been to a PDOC twice. If i see a doc consistently, I would probably get better results...Ehhhh..

to all on this thread.. and any passersby... it's normal to question your diagnosis... to doubt yourself & your responses to treatments... heck, to question if you need treatment... but don't think just because one medication works for you in a way that it's "not supposed to" ... indicates that you are or aren't bipolar... or that it is or isn't working... the worst thing about bipolar and the treatment of it (also the reason it's so widely misunderstood and so difficult to comprehend fully to those who don't have it), in my opinion, is that every person experiences it slightly differently.. for different reasons.. and every person responds differently to each medication (or the cocktail of medications some of us end up on)... while i would be off my rocker manic if i was only on effexor.. that is no indication whatsoever of what your experience of the drug and its effects means or how it actually speaks to of your brain chemistry...

regardless of what diagnosis you have.. if you find a medication that makes life more livable, *gasp*, even enjoyable... be glad... and don't take it for granted... enjoy the good parts as much as you can... as what works for you now, by whatever mechanism it works... may be completely ineffective eight months or eight years from now... all you can do is live your life the best that you can... and make the best of what you've got.. whether you're bipolar or not.

I also wonder if I am really- and I've only just been diagnosed- plus I actually thought I was but now I've got a dx I'm scared they were wrong and I'm not. The self esteem thing is a good point. But rest assured ur not alone in feeling this way. As others have said writing down all ur symptoms might be a good way to do it- I think I'll try that one as well!!

I worship the ground you walk on.

I'd say only a doctor can tell, don't trust webmd because they will end up telling you that you have brain cancer and because webmd is not a doctor

I can relate. I have recently been diagnosed Bipolar 2 and adult ADD. I fought the Bipolar and the ADD part of it..lol.. I fought it all. They gave a really big test and many smaller ones. I needed BOTH my Psychologist AND my Psychiatrist to tell me before I accepted it. I know, and have always known I was messed up. It really is amazing what we can get used to. I always thought I was just too broken. I gave up a long time ago. I really didn't even care anymore, but I have a very, very smart and persistant wife. It took 12 years of marriage for her to get through to me! Hold onto stories of the things that have happened to you. It really helps me. I often think everyone is making too big of a deal of everything, and that I am really ok. Sometimes I think maybe i am just doing this to myself and i really can't imagine this is actually happening. Then the patterns start again and I go on the rise, the elevated side and for a couple days i remember. It really scares me. I am bipolar 2.. I really really hurt for the victims of full blown mania!!!!!! But when I even out... it feels surreal. the same for the downswings too, but those are ALWAYS justifiable. In the end, i know it's a control issue with me! It is really scary for me to not try and control things, but when I do I destroy them. This leaves me vulnerable. Really, really vulnerable. This, and the fact I know what I think is normal... really is not! These are the things I have to deal with, but I thought by sharing them it might help you out. I really hope you can get some perspective on your situation. Sometimes it feels like that's all I have, and I tend to spin out of control without it. Good luck to you!

I think I only wonder about it because my parents are convinced I don't have bipolar. So it makes me question my diagnosis a lot. I think if my parents were convinced, then I would be too.