How's this for a mess...?

So I'm type 1 bipolar, have been for many years. I'm married and I have a 6 year old son. When I was pregnant with my son I totally lost all sense of reason..stick with me this is going somewhere.

Fast forward to today....earlier this year I had a manic episode, mild, but manic. The one where you convince yourself there's nothing wrong with you so you stop taking all your meds and become totally reckless?

I have had a lover for 10 years whom I adore....during that manic phase I 'saw' a lot of him...I also 'saw' a bit of my husband too (rare). And now I'm pregnant......****.

My lover knows the score and is in a total panic as he has a partner and life etc...I have a pretty cushy existence with a wealthy stable man....something he is not. So do I wait several months, look at the child and decide then who's it is? Do I stop it now and have a termination? I mean...I've been in a depressive phase for the last 8 weeks, there is every chance a pregnancy might kill me anyway (if you know what I mean). However.....it could all be OK and I may be terminating a pregnancy unnecessarily....which may also be quite hard to come back from.

Would you also like to know that I have previously suffered from anorexia and so am not thrilled at the prospect of a bump again? Especially as people feel they have a right to comment etc......

I am soooo messed up...any thoughts would be hugely appreciated...from people who may understand my inner turmoil?

Tough situation Misspilates. I am a ferm believer in honesty! not that I'm judging you but no matter what the reasons betrayal and deciet are just wrong. There are a lot of people involved in your dilemma your husband, lover and your son. I hope that what ever it is you choose to do that you have it in your heart to spare them a painful memory.

Thanks, I keep thinking that there are 2 solutions, a termination or carry on and hope for the best. I don't think I'm keen on either..... I had a little attempt at dealing with it by overdosing on gin and Valium but medics intervened....

Forget your husband, lover and who ever else. Ask yourself, do you want to put up with another pregnancy?

At this point, that is all that matters and the only person who needs to know or have a say right now is you. After you decide what is right for you, work out all the dramas and practical issues.

I have no idea why people get so attached to a pregnancy.

Why does it matter whose it is?

Go to the store, buy fresh peanut butter. The kind they make daily, all crushed up. Buy fried chicken, double friend with thick batter (if available). Splatter peanut butter all over the chicken, be very generous. Eat. I usually prefer the breasts and thighs as they're tender enough to compete with the peanut butter. Either way. Enjoy.

That should be the limit of the decisions you make today. Seriously. You'll also thank me for the chicken recipe after you eat. Make a decision later.

But yeah, who cares who the dad is.

I agree that the first decision you need to make is whether you want another child and/or can handle another pregnancy. If you are trying to abort by overdosing on gin and valium that may make the answer clear for you.

If you want this baby then get some help asap so that the child is not at risk.

Are you sure you even want another child? You say you don't want to have an 'unnecessary' termination. But in my opinion, bringing a child into this world simply because you didn't want to unnecessarily terminate it is a poor reason. You need to make sure you really want this child before you decide to have it. Children deserve to be brought into this world by parents that really really want them.

Im stirring the pot Cocoa.....Im feelin a little froggy tonight lol....
Ok, so you have no idea why people get so attached to a pregnancy???? Well, lets see......theres a whole other life inside of you....beating heart...brain...eyes...ears....can suck its thumb.....so yeah, there can be alot to get attached to....I have 4 children total, so I guess my opinion on the pregnancy thing is biased.....just wondered your thoughts....im not trying to be an *****.....
My other opinion....as I seem to full of them tonight lol...
I am actually pro-choice (you wouldnt believe it from my rant)...I believe women have a right to choose who, what, when, where, how, happens to their bodies.....it is not up to us to judge, or make that decision for them....Good luck on your decision; I imagine its a difficult one and Im not even going to pretend to imagine what I would do.....God bless you though and you are in my thoughts.

Put your already born child, and this new child first. That doesn't mean keep or no keep. I'm am pro choice also. But it doesn't sound like you actually want another child. And then yes, it's a bit of a mess, and when I saw your other post maybe it's even bigger a mess?

If I were in your position I would make some lists and do some serious searching. Figure out what I actually want to do, and what is best for children involved born and unborn.

I also struggle with anorexia. It's not easy no, but when another human life is on board, it is a little easier.

Does your husband know about your pregnancy, or just your lover?