[hamster-bamster]

I am impossibly, incredibly messy. My late mother was like that. I took it from her, even though my dad and especially his parents who helped raise me were very clean. Did not rub off on my, alas. My poor daughters are messy, even though my ex cleans. Whatever he does does not rub off on them, because they spent their early years seeing mommy's clothes scattered on the floor. Pretty bad.

Unlike my mom, who completely lacked domesticity, I can cook. I taught myself cooking. I love cooking. I love to entertain people with food. But I usually do not have an opportunity because my place is too messy. And by messy I mean "unbelievably messy" and not something slightly substandard.

It is not just not getting to entertain people due to messiness.
At age 15 I did not invite a would be boyfriend to my apartment because I was not sure in my state my parents left it - I was afraid of a huge mess. Missed out on what could have been a very touch romantic session, even with awkward kissing perhaps - something that I could have later remembered. At age 20+ I did not invite again a would be lover and missed out on a whole lot of potentially great sex simply because I was embarrassed (he was sexlessly married with children so my place was the only possible place). You would think that sexual drive of a healthy bipolar 20+ year old should provide her with enough motivation to clean up her act, literally, but noooo.

Ok, so inability to entertain, inability to have romantic intercourse - 2 big things. The third one seems even bigger - inability to invite kids' friends over for playdates and sleepovers. When I was growing up, I always went TO someone, because our place was too messy and dirty. I was embarrassed. You'd think that a person with my history would make triple sure that her kids would not be embarrassed, but noooo. They went to others for playdates and sleepovers, they could not reciprocate. It is my fault entirely - when my then husband attempted to clean, I stopped him because his cleaning made me feel inferior. A vicious circle...

Manic shopping sprees resulting in overabundance of STUFF did not help, either - my rudimentary decluttering, organizing and cleaning skills could not cope with the mass of stuff I collected.

Fast forward to now. I needed to show something that I am trying to sell and for that purpose moved everything into the bedroom, leaving the living room and kitchen sparkling clean. My ex came and vacuumed the whole place and I soaked stains on the carpet. Everything looks good now. I already had friends over yesterday and enjoyed the opportunity to entertain tremendously. Tonight I am cooking an elaborate dinner for the owner of cat rescue agency for which I foster my two cats. I look forward to both the process of cooking and the process of hosting the dinner. I am giddy. I have invited yet another friend for two weeks from now, so I have to maintain it clean. I realize that if this socialization/cooking/entertaining stuff brings me such immense pleasure, I should make an effort and keep my place clean for the next half of my life. But how? You bipolar people are probably often clean freaks, especially when hypomanics - can you tell me step by step how you do it?

[cocoabeans]

I only ever clean when manicky and it isn't an enjoyable thing, usually driven by anxiety, paranoia that sort of thing.

I have kept up sometimes by, throwing out EVERYTHING. If I haven't touched it in 6 to a year? Gone. And then trying to clean for 15 mins a day. Set a timer and go. You might find once you've started some, you'll keep it up for a little longer than 15 just to get your task complete.

But, I am a slob usually. Good at ignoring my surroundings!

[Trippin2.0]

I'm a slob ssshh... Lol. lucky, I don't have my own place, can you imagine I leave my room until it works on my own dang nerves, then, even when I don't want to, I clean it, and end up doing so obsessively. I hate cleaning, always try to dodge it, but its strange, coz no matter what it is, when I do decide to clean it, I go all OCD, Chuck Norris style. Music helps, I CAN'T clean without it. Also, expected/suspected company magically gives me superhuman motivation to grab a broom. Btw, I'm the only super messy 1 in my family. 1 or 2 are a bit untidy, but the rest are neat freaks like my parents.

[Confusedinomicon]

Im not a clean freak. Im disgustingly messy and SO is too. I have a system to keep our shared space together. Laundry happens every week between monday and wednesday. Vinyl floors are friday. Carpet is once a month. Dishes are everyday. Trash when it is full.

Once a month I also clean random **** that piles up on tables and extra bed. I like it clean now.

[bluemountains]

I'm messy, too. It's awful to try to be somewhat of a role model for my children. My husband is messy, too. We have to invite people over in order to clean just a little bit.

[BNLsMOM]

We are horribly messy. I think it is mostly me, though. I have even moved out of places because it would have been easier than cleaning. Or rather, I didn't recognize that I didn't hate the place, I just needed to clean up. I am feeling better so I will be starting my cleaning campaign to clean up the dirt of the last three years. In the past I would get all OCD about it too and spend 6 hours cleaning one room. I like the timer idea.

[Rennerenner]

I'm a clean freak / minimalist. I also have OCD though so... :P

[SingDanceRunLife]

I'm super messy. The only time I clean is when I'm hypomanic.

[Lost321]

Ok I am not bipolar but I HAD to respond because I am an incredibly messy person add in my depression and our house can become unliveable. My poor 11 year old daughter is an OCD neat freak so it stresses her out. She and I do the Flylady thing and zone clean and declutter which seems to help when I stay with it. Not sure if it would help you or not but it's worth a shot. It's www.flylady.net

...I'm obsessive about tidiness and order it makes me nutso but the results are pleasing...or satisfying or something I cannot help it my mind is such an appalling mess that I must balance it out in my environment.

being neat and tidy demonstrates I have some kind of control in my life something tangible where the rest is topsy turvy oblivion.

I gues it's a useful outlet for mania and not so bad then but I'm impossible to reach while amongst it!

sometimes I try to be messy just to take the pressure off but it don't work

if I had to choose between living with a messy but layed back person or an uptight but immaculate one...I think I'd just tie a motorbike to my leg and jump into the sea!

[Rennerenner]

Originally Posted by dubblemonkey

...my mind is such an appalling mess that I must balance it out in my environment.

^^^^THIS

[~Christina]

Hmmmmm I rapid cycle ALL the time ,, sometimes it can be up to 15 times a day .

Im a total neat freak as in no way can I attempt sleep if there is a single dish in my sink. I have to vaccumn the carpets every other day (2200 sq ft home) I clean the kitchen and bathroom floors by hand . I dust three times a week or more . I empty all my cabinets in the kitchen and clean them all out monthly. I clean the bathrooms daily even if one of the bathrooms hasnt even been used ..Or the list goes on and on .

I dont enjoy this insane cleaning at all ... I feel if I dont clean this way something bad will happen its all doom and gloom stuff .. I have talked this over with my tdoc and we both decided its due to my rapid cycling .. and are hopefull that once the rapid cycling stops ill beable to let up on the cleaning frenzy

I think whether your messy or a neat freak ..They both just plain suck !

wow...yeah that makes alot of sense to me, so it's a rapid cycling thing then? might just look into that.

I feel the same that bad things will happen and rationally I think it's absurd but it doesn't stop me acting out the behaviour.

urban dictionary calls it 'an*l-retentive' I think and I'm right into the straight lines and right angles and towels hanging at exact same shape a dripping tap will wreck me and a rattle in the car will have me dismantle it on the side of the road to get rid of it! doesn't matter much anyway giving it a name for me though it won't go away these days

neatness neatness...NEATNESS....wtf??

oh well

just checked this out below.
(If there are four mood episodes within a month, it is called ultra-rapid cycling, and when several mood switches occur within a day, on several days during one week, it is called ultra-ultra-rapid, or ultradian cycling.)

I think I'm in an ultra phase lately....didn't know it had a name....but I don't pay attention to much

...oh just another thing before I go clean stuff.

I find it amusing cos I never watched these shows but during the night when I can't sleep sometimes I put on them home shopping shows and watch the people clean stuff with their steam thingos and vacuum cleaners and whatever else they got, it calms me.

then I go back to sleep

[sjane23]

When I'm in my depressive episodes I don't clean at all luckily my partner does but when I'm manic or hypomanic I make the house spotless

[Seaswept]

I wish I had some hypo right now so I could get my house clean.

We just moved and this house has no central air so I don't want to do anything!

Also, When I think I'm not going to be able to do a good job or finish I don't even start. Someone said its a perfectionist tendency but I'm not a perfectionist.

The timer is good, I've used that technique before.

[Seaswept]

Dm- I like the steam mop commercial too.

Originally Posted by Seaswept

Dm- I like the steam mop commercial too.

hehe ...it's funny how they play it over and over and over the same dirty spots to clean and everyone involved is so excited about it and it's hypnotic and I kinda know (I think)..that it's not 'full on' mouldy gunk hard core dirty but it "comes off so easy"....it's fantastic!

the mops the sprays the jet pack thing on all the different surfaces I never imagined as a kid I would grow up to become a man who lays in bed transfixed at 2 in the morning....but what do ya do?

[Seaswept]

I bought it that's what I did. lol.

When I'm manic I buy stuff off the tv, especially time-life music collections and I also order tons of magazine subscriptions.

...so easy to do to on impulse!, I deliberately don't have credit cards because in the past even though I started out cautious it took very little time to max them out!

so you bought it...can I borrow it?

[faerie_moon_x]

My grandmother was a horder, a very sever horder. She grew up poor in the depression and it effected her whole life. In turn, my mom was a horder but not quite as bad. For example, my grandmother stockpiled enough boxes of chocoloate under her bed that it didn't even need legs to hold the bedframe up, she had pantries full of canned food going back to the 1950s. She had over 1000 bolts of brand new cloth to make clothes. 16 boxes of brand new china, (full sets,) but she only used her old broken dishes to eat on... She had brand new silk stockings with the seam still in the original tissue, etc.

My mom on the other hand horded paper. Holiday cards, school work, empty cereal boxes, wrapping paper, etc. So, then there's me. I don't want to be that way, but I can't get organized to save my life, and I fight what I call "tendancies." I try. But the house is a mess, and I get this huge anxiety about throwing certain things out. My husband is a little messy but not bad. He will clean up "his" mess. And sometimes he'll help in other areas, but if he helped a bit more often the house wouldn't be quite so bad. My mother-in-law is also messy, but when she goes manic she does that whole house clean thing, which I don't ever seem to get there. Then there's my 6 year old, tazmanian devil... who fights cleaning like it's going to kill him. -.-

It isn't just my house that's a mess, so am I. A few of you have said because the inside of your head is such a mess you keep the outside in order. I think it's not true for me. Because the inside of my head is such a mess I can't keep my outside in order, either. I even look a bit crazy. I'm never "put together." I used to be, but now I can't seem to get it together.

[hamster-bamster]

Thank you for the responses. I tried suggestions. Yesterday when I hosted my little dinner party, there was a mess - a small mess - afterwards because I make small messes as I cook, which is by itself normal. So I set the timer. I had to set the timer twice 15+15=30 mins to clean the mess. It took me exactly 30 mins. Curiously, before I started, I estimated that cleaning up would take only 10-15 minutes but I was lazy. When I pushed myself to do it, with the timer technique, not only did I finish and was proud of myself, I also learned by how much I misestimate the amount of effort it would take to clean up my act.

I put a recurrent 30 min event on my calendar to mop the vinyl floors on Wed nights. We will see how it goes.

I will throw stuff away, except for suitcases with cute clothing sizes 6-10 whereas I am now 14-16 but I am ridiculously hopeful... to use it at some point. Then, there is memento after memento. My drawings from inpatient stay. Should I keep them?

[Blue Poppy]

Like many of you have stated, I tend to clean when I am hypomanic and everything falls apart when I am depressed. Thank God for my husband!

I have heard that messiness is a sign of genius, so on a positive note, we have a very smart group here!!!!!

[Trippin2.0]

Patrick Jane (the Mentalist) says messy women are great lovers

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

Patrick Jane (the Mentalist) says messy women are great lovers

I have to learn who Patrick Jane is. This is so interesting. But, and I am being immodest now, I also thought this. The very simple and basic thing is just comfort with body fluids. I never understood the compulsion to take a shower after the act. On the contrary, I liked cuddling together and falling asleep in an embrace (when not manic - when manic, I could not fall asleep after sex and one day after such lack of sleep I drove myself off to a parking lot and took three handfuls of tranquilizers and other crap and survived through sheer luck, thanks god) peacefully without leaving the bed.