[hamster-bamster]

So we've been essentially given a second lease on life.

Do you ever feel that you are not making the most of it? That life should be more momentous if destiny decided to rescue you? I just feel that I am trying to clean up a giant mess after several years, and only partially succeeding.

[Clinte89]

Well I feel that I am not making the most of it. In fact I feel Im wasting it. I agree cleaning up a mess is what Im dealing with, legal trouble, relationship troubles and troubles caused by my past behaviors. I have survived more than once, so I feel I really should live it up but cant seem to get to that part yet. I guess all it has shown me is my body can clear out some major toxins and my liver is probably taken the hit more times that it ever should have. But in short I agree life should be more momentous after such an event.

[cocoabeans]

No, I don't think about life like that. My being alive is chance, just like anyone else whether they've attempted suicide or not.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by cocoabeans

No, I don't think about life like that. My being alive is chance, just like anyone else whether they've attempted suicide or not.

I am alive due to my choice of season for the suicide attempt . They told my then husband that what saved me was the cold air outside: it slowed all processes in the body, including the deathly processes.

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

So we've been essentially given a second lease on life.

Do you ever feel that you are not making the most of it? That life should be more momentous if destiny decided to rescue you? I just feel that I am trying to clean up a giant mess after several years, and only partially succeeding.

this is so controversial Hamster...

I was disappointed when I woke up from those sedated attempts... panicked by those more overt attempts.

I felt like I couldn't even make the most of my death!
and if I could make the most of my life?...before that?

well I believe I did...and to abandon it then I don't know what condition I will be on the 'surviving' side of things ...?

but just looking at it?...yes I feel guilty...
1: because I don't appreciate the second third and more chances
2: because if I knew how to appreciate life I would never have arrived at the need to remove myself from it
3: because I'm still struggling and yet won't finish it in a way that is proven to work.

but yeah a couple times I was really unlucky

thats what bothers me ...bein' stuck in the middle...alive but unco-operative

[BlueInanna]

it's a nice thought to say destiny rescued you, but i have to say it's chance. i don't believe that destiny decides whether one lives or dies after a sui attempt... i do believe some things about fate, like a path is before us, but we and every other human has the free will factor.

my daughter survived, i'm grateful she did, from swallowing a bottle of aspirin at age 14. but i also knew she was depressed and she'd been threatening it, so i was shadowing her... and when she turned white and limp, i knew what was up and rushed her to ER. they were able to save her because i got her there in time.

less than a month later, a 12 yr old boy we were good friends with went in the woods and shot himself and died. that wasn't fate. that was horrible chance, and his parents didn't know he was depressed. that's just horrible tragedy.

but it's good to look at it as a second chance i think and try to make the most of it. always good to try to make the most of this life.

[sugahorse1]

Wow; you've given me a lot to think about here. I definitely have not been embracing this second chance

I have no guilt

[hamster-bamster]

To correct my initial post: depending on the person, we have been given a second, third, fourth, etc. chance.

[bluemountains]

I can't say that I feel that I have a second chance because I am not the same person I was when in that low, low place. It was dark and I thought the world would be better without me. I don't plan on ever being that person again. I know I can't predict the future, but I also know what signs to look for now. I know I need to always take my meds even when it seems like an unnecessary action. I know I need a dose kick*ss from my friend who's husband was successful and didn't make it to the second chance. She's a survivor even when depressed, and I need to be, too.
Bluemountains

[thickntired]

I feel terrribe guilt for my suicide attempt, and I believe it wasn't my time to die. I am so grateful I didn't put my parents through the loss of another child, and I should not have lived. I've also had my liver enzymes checked and they are normal, so I avoided death & long-term damage.

Yes, I do feel like I need to use my time doing something worthwhile; and I feel grateful to be here bipolar and all.

Peace & Hugs,

TnT

Originally Posted by thickntired

I feel terrribe guilt for my suicide attempt, and I believe it wasn't my time to die. I am so grateful I didn't put my parents through the loss of another child, and I should not have lived. I've also had my liver enzymes checked and they are normal, so I avoided death & long-term damage.

Yes, I do feel like I need to use my time doing something worthwhile; and I feel grateful to be here bipolar and all.

Peace & Hugs,

TnT

I am glad you are here too

[hamster-bamster]

Beautiful tall trees - where is it?

[thickntired]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

Beautiful tall trees - where is it?

Northern California Redwoods, but not exactly sure of location. You're living in God's country

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by thickntired

Northern California Redwoods, but not exactly sure of location. You're living in God's country

I will go to Stinson Beach soon and to Monterey... will post some pictures once I am back!

[moremi]

I am so greatful to be here after my attempt. Its by the grace of God that I am alive today. It just wasnt my time to go.

[canacrip]

I keep suicide on the back burner. I was born with Spina Bifida, am in chronic pain and am BP. My life is pretty much ruined. Can't work. Everything I hoped for and wanted when I was young is gone. Anyway, having it there gives me a sense of power and control. I can choose to live. I can choose not to. Point is, I choose.

[Clinte89]

Biggest thing I have to thank for my survival is my friend tackled me and kept me from getting the my chosen method but of course there where the other attmpts which others thought I was just partying to hard but my brother kept me breathing all night so Im greatful for that. If it wasnt for him I prolly would have gone the way of many a rock star. I not only feel like i should be a worthwhile person but also owe my brother everything.