[manic most days]

All night long..... Almost lover by a fine frenzy My very first love will never know I'll always have a piece of him.... She is growing in me and he is so toxic I have to be gone and quickly, I see people are starting to notice even tho I hide inside most of the time. Things are really coming together to get out. I'm sorry guys don't mean to spill over on here but I really love him and making myself stay away from his toxicity is killin me....
Why am I always so attrected to mentally or verbally abusive men? My therapist and I are working on this but damn it, it doesn't help me tonight or right now

It is crazy making behavior with or without him at this point.... Jerk!

[Clinte89]

Oh that song always gets me to. I can kinda understand what your feeling I had a girlfriend like that once. I hope you get feeling better and I hope therapy can help you out more. Just do you r best to have a good daay.

I love that song! And I've been where you are right now. I don't have much advice but I can say that you deserve better. I know this because no one deserves to be abused, especially by the ones they love the most. Can you see past the love? Can you see the hurt he puts you through? Can you see the not-nice person? Being mean and abusive, hurtful makes someone really ugly. Be strong and don't give in. It's no good. No good for you. I hope that you can rise above this and see what you really deserve. See that you deserve to be treated like a human being worthy of respect.

[manic most days]

I can and WILL rise above this... See I have this overpowering ability to think of things how they will affect my children in the future... Like when my husband cheated on me no fear, no jealousy, no anger.... All I thought was my daughter will NOT be raised to think this is okay from her husband, my boys will not be raised to think it is okay to do this to their wife.
I think the hardest part is the little movements inside of me, the hormones, the fact I am hiding this and running. He has absolutely no idea... All he knows is one day I started decreasing meds rapidly, quit drinking and moved out.
Problem being.... His exwife lives in my apartments, I was outside playing with the kids last night ( I know her schedule) she came home from work and the look she had in her eyes when she saw me said it all.... I've been up and down all night waiting for a text or a knock at my door. She has always told me she completely understands why I left and how unlucky she is that she has kids with him and I have always just agreed but OMG that look woah..
This is the first time I've ever mentioned it to anyone besides my Dr's wow it feels good to get it out too

[manic most days]

Oh and she was NOT supposed to be home that early last night!!!

[abience]

No one should live in an abusive environment. I hope you are able to break free. If they are willing to be verbally abusive, someday it will escalate into physical abuse and you risk your childrens health and welfare. They see and hear a lot more than people think they do. Get out and stay out, it's best for you and your children.