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#1
Sep 26, 2012, 06:46 PM
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I'm so unhappy. Can't stand being married to my husband. Miss my "lovers". Ugh. Stupid me can't stop thinking of them. I cant stand myself. Feel gross and feel like my brain is in a horrible state. So depressed and disgusted I just stare into space and snap at everyone. Trying to be good and do all the right things for once in my life, and I'm miserable. Hate being on Lamictal. What's wrong with me??
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#2
Sep 26, 2012, 07:00 PM
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Hmm, well maybe "being good" means getting yourself out of a very unhappy relationship? Being good doesn't to me anyways mean just doing what others might think is right despite my discomfort. I know you said you have been married a long time 20 yrs? And that you have attended counseling, I don't know how you feel about your husband, so I don't want to make any judgments.
Only you know what is right for you, to me being in an unhappy relationship for so long would very much make me miserable. But that is obviously a big thing for you, and probably isn't going to get better till changes happen either way. I'm sorry your feeling so horrible right now. 
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#3
Sep 26, 2012, 07:01 PM
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Sorry your having such a rough time passion, life is not easy but it's worth working for. I'm sure you'll find the right answer for you. It may take time but I know you'll get it figured out.
__________________
“When everything seem to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it ....” ― Henry Ford lamictal 200mg, synthroid 75 mcg, Testosterone injections thanks to lithium causing thyroid problems |
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#4
Sep 26, 2012, 07:11 PM
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Anika you're right, I'm very unhappy in my marriage. It's not like my husband is horrible. He's got a big heart and is a great dad. I just can't love him. I think the lovers I no longer have is making me so empty. My husband isn't affectionate AT ALL. Never has been. I have to financially figure out how I'd live without him but who doesn't have that worry right? I've actually been told I might not be bipolar --that I'm just trying to fill a void in my life. It has been since i got married 20 yrs ago that I got more and more moody and needy and "latchy" to lovers and.....list goes on and on. Thanks guys for giving me insight. Always appreciate your thoughts and hugs. Hugs back to you!!!
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#5
Sep 26, 2012, 08:49 PM
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Well, people have different lifestyles. Maybe being married and having lovers is your preferred lifestyle. It is OK; it is not that anyone passes judgment. Maybe it was the right solution for you. Not everyone can be happily monogamous. You just need to find your equilibrium.
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#6
Sep 26, 2012, 09:42 PM
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Quote:
Do you feel like you are trying to fill a void? That's really a good question, most of us are at sometime or another, what's the void you are trying to fill tho? If we have a hole in the shape of a circle and we keep trying to stuff a square in it, it's never going to fill the hole right. Funny tho cause as humans we all know that, yet we all do it, I think we figured that one out as toddlers, but we keep trying. But what do you think that could be, how could you fill it? If we never figure out what it is or how to fill it ourselves, it's just a gaping hole, which usually just get bigger and bigger. |
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