Newly Diagnosed

I was diagnosed with bipolar just 4 weeks ago, I'm 26 and have been experiencing symptoms since I was 19, I tried to tell my parents about this for a long time but they just dismissed it and insisted that I was anti-social and was anorexic; when I was manic I would exercise a lot and when I was depressed I would eat very little.

This past December I got extremely depressed but instead of eating very little I started binge eating because my parents had harassed me so much in the past about eating so little. I stopped exercising completely because I was so depressed.

I checked my self into an eating disorder unit where they diagnosed me with bipolar type 2 and binge eating disorder. The eating disorder unit was horrible (90% severely underweight ladies who just gossiped about each other and made me feel extremely depresses and suicidal) but I did finally get a decent diagnosis and some meds which hopefully will help. I am now on Lamictal 100mg eventually move up to 200 mg. and Topomax 50 mg in am and 100 mg in pm for the urge to binge.

Does anyone have any experience being on these meds?

I am also extremely depressed because I gained 35 pounds during my 3 months of binging, I've lost 15, but I'm still extremely depressed about the way I look, of course my parents just think that's stupid and don't offer any support for my "distorted" body image".

I feel so hopeless and lost and that the people who say they love me really despise me

wrelcome to the boards.
((((hugs)))))

how are you taking the diagnoses so far?

Hi zyekitty, welcome to PC.

I haven't been on those meds and I don't have binge eating, but I have gained a lot of weight in the passed few years. I understand about being depressed. I lose some then gain it back. It's hard. I used to be healthy weight and curvey, then I gained 60 lbs >.<

I hate the way I look and it's hard work to lose the weight. You're not alone in feeling this way. Just hang in there and know you're not alone.

Hello Zyekitty, Im so sorry that you are feeling depressed, I can so relate to that. I know your parents love you but they just dont understand your illness, and are trying to cope with it as best they can. My husband is the same although I just suffer from depression. He said today that he was sick of my s***, later apologising for getting so angry at me. I just hope that they can come to an understanding about your illness's, because you do need support. You were so brave to check yourself in like that, you are a strong person, stronger than you know. Im sorry I cant help you in regards to your meds. I do wish you the most sincere "get better soon" because it will get better. Best wishes.

Hi and welcome to PC. I have BP2 and have been on Lamictal for a while with great results. It is considered a weight neutral medication. I'm not sure about the Topomax. I think since you were able to already take off 15 lbs. that you will be able to take off the rest. Exercise and a healthy diet are very important for the depression as well as your weight. This is a great place to get and give support.

I struggle with a body-distortion issue. I understand how ****** it feels when you eat and then you are filled with immense guilt. I love to eat but have gone through long periods of intense dislike of my body. I imagine myself 20-30 lbs bigger and have to remind myself of my actual size. I did body-loving exercises in front of the mirror which has helped me become comfortable in my skin. I have stopped picking at myself for the most part (nervous tick now) but I still struggle with it. It gets easier to deal with, but it doesn't go away. My bp symptoms are easier to deal with then my body-distortion. Its almost like an obsession.

Having a good support system helps a lot. It may mean finding a therapist who specializes in it and can help you cope with that+ other issues. I pushed myself to accept my body with the help of my bf and family. They would catch me in my defeating thoughts and challenged my viewpoint. A good t should be able to do the same.

Thanks for all of your feed back. I am now in day program and am seeing a nutritionist and an individual therapist, so I am hoping to make some good connections there. I have some negative experiences with doctors in the past but am trying to start fresh...but that is very difficult for me. I used to be able to exercise a lot and was in very good shape, so I am trying to ease back into it with 30 mins of light cardio and also working with my nutritionist to make sure I'm eating healthy and not dieting...there is a big difference.

I don't think I can accept my body the way it is...Confusedinnomicon: How did you get yourself to do the body-loving exercises? I can't stand to look at myself in a mirror, it just makes me want cry and kill myself. How were you able start? I admire you for getting to where you are. I don't think I'm strong enough to do that, I've tried looking in the mirror and smiling and being happy with myself but it is so fake and then I just hate myself more.

I am newly diagnosed as well. Lamictal:200...zoloft:200 and tramadol when needed for chronic pain. Lamictal was a life saver for me..we are still working on the dosage for all meds. Hope this helps...all the best~