Why the need to be social?

I'm wondering why I have this desperate need to socialize. Is it really that primal? I'm starting to think this site is unhealthy for me, but I can't seem to turn away.

If I had real life friends (those are a joke, no one is actually on your side) I wouldn't be on here. I feel this need to conversate, to be liked, but I can't find it anywhere. I feel some friendship here, but mostly I find a general concensus of kindness.

While I appreciate this all accepting community, and a place with people who think like me, I find this site to be difficult to absorb at times. So much is posted so often, so many are missed. Or worse yet, most are passed up. I can't handle pouring my heart out, in condensed version for readability, only to have it viewed 300 times with 6 responses, when 3 of the responses are myself.

Does anyone actually care? Would it feel better if I couldn't see how many were simply looky-loos at my life's dilemmas? Do I fit in anywhere? Is it the game boards that flood the rest of conversation out? I just feel so frazzled right now. It suck feeling like no one cares, not even fake people on the internet.

Damn, I'm lame.

I only post in relationships and bipolar. (Sometimes other places, but not really)

I have a social life/friends outside of PC. I come on here because there is a group of people that I've gotten to know that I still like corresponding to through the boards. I'm not too chatty outside of the forums though. (Sometimes I will go into the chats)

I think it's normal to want to socialize. It's hard to be alone and even though its through an internet forum you're still connecting with others.

Taking a break isn't bad though. I sometimes stop posting for a few months and will come back.

I guess the need for being social is that we are social beings naturally. Could you
maybe be expecting too much from social activity? Your question is for me a difficult one because I feel that so many here try so hard to be helpful and concerned about others, and maybe it's because we're all fighting the same illness.

I hope you will find the forum helpful. Please try to relax a little and decide to
take things a little lighter and let the things that are bothersome roll right off your shoulders like water off a duck's back.

People do generally mean well, Tru Butterfly; only occasionally does the forum have
someone who is antisocial or paranoid or whatever. Even then, everyone tries to
be tolerant, in my view.

Take care; moving away from a forum for a short time sometimes relieves the negativity you experience, too, but it can be helpful in many ways to continue to post when you would like. Everyone will try to sympathize and help, generally.

Yea I'd say it's a primal need. I have real life friends but we don't talk about bp. So yea this is a good place for me for support on bp topic especially. Sorry you feel overlooked lately. I've felt that way before too...and then realize I was feeling paranoid in panic mode. I haven't been on here as much lately as I used to because I got hurt feelings over drama going on here. I don't always have the tough shell I feel like others have, so all I can do is take a break from here. I will pm people, but I have to step away when it starts to feel unsupportive to me, hard for me to do. But I care about you, I'm sure nobody's trying to ignore your post, they just didn't see it like me, or they are taking a break from here. Pm me anytime ok?

The viewing thing is misleading. Post and reply are two reads, as it refreshes after you post so you might have as many as 6 views be you for your 3 responses. Too, one reads, then posts, then it refreshes; that's perhaps 9 views per post so there's perhaps 54 with just your 6 people posting and each person's response gets its own views so the more responses, the more exponential the views get. If someone reads someone else's response and puts a hug in there for a response, etc., there's extra views that one does not even realize.

There's a fine line between living in one's self and out in the world. If you are afraid of what's inside yourself, then you are going to run out into the world and live on Facebook (been there, done that) and if you are afraid of being out in the world and what judgment you feel is there then you are going to stay inside yourself (been there, done that too).

I like the online world because I can do a little practicing and try out things that one can't do real time/in person. I can work with how I feel without anyone else confusing me or making me feel judged, etc. I can practice expressing myself, in writing, which I can edit/correct and learn ways of saying things that I have trouble working with in person. I can see what works in the online world and try it out in the real world, too.

The need to socialize can mean many things to me; I might be avoiding something or trying to work out something in myself, it depends.

Oh right, I agree the "# views" a post gets is misleading... Best to ignore that if u can, it's useless imho. Also, I feel like if your post rolls to page 2, but u still looking for support on it, respond on it to bump it back up, keep reaching out. I remember Seaswept doing that and clearly stating that she was doing so, it was good she was humorous about it
Anyway I hope ur ok Butterfly. I'm here for now if you want to talk. I'm just hiding in bed watching the beautiful sunny day outside pass me by, wishing I had energy to do much needed yardwork and housework and work work, but I just don't right now.

I am new to PC and joined the group to discuss similar issues and to find some people who understand my issues. I need to be social!,,,,

I have similar problem. I feel nervous around people, So I became member of a lots of forums just to socialize. Actually to get some courage and applause from somebody unknown. Weird. I`m addicted to internet also.

I'm always here if you need someone to talk to

I'm just not really "wordy" today.. My pain is up.
I understand how you feel. really I do. I have made some very amazing friendships here, real life I have maybe 1 .. and that is a shaky relationship that I don't think it will last ( sigh)

Just PM me anytime and if I'm not on, soon as I log on I will get back to you

This very post may be the most clarifying post I've ever had. Truly from the bottom of my heart, I thank you.

Inanna, I have never felt ignored by you. You are a great friend here and I always know your on my side.

I know you are here for me. Wow, it's weird what my mind does to me even though I aware it does it to me and still can't prevent these thoughts. I let my brain talk me into feeling alone in the one place in this world that I feel least alone. I am reminded now of the friends I do have here and how a silly thing like numbers could wig me out so much.

I am so sorry to hear your pain is bad again. I completely feel the same on friends. The real life kind really suck and are usually deceitful. Here's sending love your way, hoping you will have a brighter tomorrow.

I have many understanding friends here, I'm so glad and thankful for. I hate that this numbers thing has bothered me for so long. As far as PMing my friends here, I so rarely do, the few members that I have PMed in the past soon ended up avoiding me on PC like the plague. I also really don't like the idea of just dropping my problems on a specific member here. Everyone here has enough problems to deal with without me dropping my crap on 'em.

Even though my paranoia has been tremendously lifted on this issue, I would still like to hear others' opinions on the needs of being social. The good, the bad, the irreparable. I don't know, just whatever comes to mind when you think of being social.

hmmm ...

I have felt down and full of pain many times, I come on here and I often can post positive things and maybe even help a few people... By forcing myself to be positive even if it's just for a little while.. It takes my mind off myself .. and that is a good thing for me and I know a few others that do this.

It is hard to be social when we are at our weakest and most vunerable however I find that it is a need that most people have I think it is very natural to want human contact and conversation. Most people are not judgemental I have found that out in the world people are so wrapped up into what is happening with them and that if you put yourself out there they will respond. Take care people do care

I've never thought of it quite like this before. It makes good sense though. I don't think of it as taking my mind off of myself as much as I feel it gives me more purpose in life to come to PC and hopefully say something that is useful to others.