[Speed3]

I have been very depressed and suicidal at times. I have been handling the suicidal stuff pretty well with PRN seroquel.

I was all set to have a few ECTs, but that was cancelled because of the large dose of Ativan and Tegretol I take.

I was going to go to the ER to be admitted at my usual hospital on Friday morning. My husband who has been very nasty to me lately decided to go golfing all day instead of helping me pack and drive me to the ER. That got cancelled.

This depressive episode just is not lifting. I spend my days between bed and the couch. I don't dress and take a shower about once a week. I want to do things sometimes but my energy is so so low.

If there is a bed my PDOC says I can go inpatient. But I keep thinking how is it going to help. There are no new meds to try or tweak. I would have to pack myself and I am not sure how I would get there.

But this life I am living at home really isn't a life. I have my cats, my sons boxer and you guys, but that is it.

My husband told me last week he wants a divorce. He believes I am not depressed.

Feeling bad for him I said I understand about the divorce, I won't fight you. Do you want the house ? He goes into a rage and says is that all you have to say. I am going to 302 you and you will never get out.

I could use some advice. I am sorry if this all sounds so old.
I know I am going round and round. I do want to break the circle.
I just am not sure the best way.

[comicgeek007]

Maybe just the change in scenery could help at an inpatient place. I'm sure if you call around to your hospital and such they can find you a ride. If you can make a list of the things you need, maybe you can get the energy to get those things one at a time, lay down for a while, then get the next thing and so on.

I really hope you feel better, and I'm sorry about the divorce.

[emgreen]

I don't post all that much, but I've been following the hell you've been going through since the beginning of the year. Everything you've gone through would be nearly impossible for anyone to take in. I wish I had some words of wisdom, but all I can write is that you're the only one who can decide the pros & cons of going inpatient. Your situation is very complex. I just hope you find peace soon.

[faerie_moon_x]

I am thinking that getting out of the house will do way more good for you than you realize. Going to a safe environment where you don't have to deal with your husband on a daily basis will be very good for you. I don't know what the heck a 302 is, but it sounds very horrible and mean and you don't deserve that type of threats.

I don't care if he doesn't believ if your depressed or not, at this point in my mind his opinion doesn't really matter. Threating to divorce you and other threats are horrible. After all you've been through, to have him crapping all over you is not helpful.

So, go to inpatient. Make it a safe place and take time to heal up. I would say to HIPAA the hell out of it and tell the staff that you want your husband barred from having any information, coming in to see you, speaking to your doctor, etc. Make it the law, that's your right. If he wants to abuse you, then too bad.

[faerie_moon_x]

PS, tell the staff at the hospital everything your husband is up to as well. Let's see how he likes it to have emtional abuse reported on him. I'm sorry, but you don't deserve it.

[comicgeek007]

Originally Posted by dark_heart_x

PS, tell the staff at the hospital everything your husband is up to as well. Let's see how he likes it to have emtional abuse reported on him. I'm sorry, but you don't deserve it.

I agree. You have no idea how reliving it was to tell someone who would listeb about what my mother's done to me.

[Speed3]

Yes I think you are all right.

I have been sitting here trying to rev up a motor that won't start.
Normally he could bring me stuff and I would just have to dress and drive.

But I have to pack, sounds easy, but I am so low. A 302 is an involuntary commitment, Dark.

This is the time of day I get suicidal. It is hard fighting so much.
My bipolar, the loss of my son, loneliness, my Husband's meanness and threats. My messy, messy house. My gardens not started. Not continuing with my Heroin Action group....on and on

I just want it to stop. I just sent a message to my friend who lives in NJ. I hope she answers.

[Eliza Jane]

My heart just breaks for you. Inpatient might be a good option. Another thought (which I admittedly don't now anything about) is some sort of therapeutic retreat-like place. I know they are out there, but idk how expensive they are or quite what to call them. They are sort of like rehab for people without substance issues but with other serious mental health concerns. They do individual and group therapies and don't just boot you out after a week like most inpatient stays. Does anyone on here know what I'm talking about? I know they are out there, but likely not that many of them.

Or less formally, do you have a friend or relative a good distance away (maybe another state) that you could stay with for like a month? You need comfort and care and support. You don't need to be put down.

Sending you thoughts of strength and comfort.

EJ

[~Christina]

Go Inpatient. Pack 3 changes of clothes all jammie pants, soft comfortable stuff, Oh yeah a sweater ! I was always cold . Toss it in all in a duffle bag no need to fold things neatly... If you forget anything the staff can usually provide it.

Just reach out and go you don't need to prove or disprove anything to anyone. .....take back your life <3

[BlueInanna]

Agreeign with all above - please do it. Who knows how much it will help, but it could help. I really hope it will speed, it's worth a try

[faerie_moon_x]

yeah, don't fold. Just throw the stuff you need in a bag. Put your hair up in a pony tail. And go. All that fancy stuff like folding and showering will come back in time.

So, he doesn't thin you're depressed but wants to involuntarily commit you??? Uhm, yeah, makes total sense.... NOT! (Or so says my inner-teen.) I don't think all of his pistons are firing upstairs either, if you ask me. But, maybe if you're away from him for a bit things will simmer down.

[Speed3]

I packed , but no beds tonight.

At least that is done, maybe there will be a bed tomorrow.

Thanks for the advice and support

[comicgeek007]

Originally Posted by Speed3

I packed , but no beds tonight.

At least that is done, maybe there will be a bed tomorrow.

Thanks for the advice and support

Good for you! I hope there is, too.

[faerie_moon_x]

Great job! I'm proud of you for packing. There will be a bed soon.

[Yoda]

Take along a book or something. The hospital I was in allowed us to take battery operated radios. You might call and ask if that is allowed there.

I was inpatient for five weeks after my BF died. The first couple of days were bad, I slept nearly all the time. But it got better. I liked doing crafts because it took my mind off things.

I am so sorry your husband is being a turd. You deserve better.

[BlueInanna]

"No hard cover books" right? I've had those turned down.
Proud of you speed. many sss

[comicgeek007]

Originally Posted by BlueInanna

"No hard cover books" right? I've had those turned down.
Proud of you speed. many sss

I've had comic books turned down for their "violent nature" those ones weren't, actually...

[Victoria'smom]

I'm so proud of you packing! I was going to tell you to shop for cheap cloths online so it all comes in a nice neat packed box but it'll take 3 days. It's also kind of a jab at your husband's wallet for not helping you pack. If you need it call a cab or ambulance or leave the car in the parking lot until your husband can pick it up.

[Speed3]

Wednesday Noon. Still packed but no beds yet.

[Cocosurviving]

We're so proud of you for packing. Is there only one inpatient place u can go?

[faerie_moon_x]

Hang in there Speed. I do like MMs suggestion of buying clothes online if you can't pack and he refuses to help. Haha. I'm glad you're packed though. Hopefully it will be soon.

Also, I really like that bracelette in your signature. It's lovely.

[Speed3]

Originally Posted by Cocosurviving

We're so proud of you for packing. Is there only one inpatient place u can go?

Yes that is covered 100 %.

Speed, I just came home yesterday from a week-long stay in the hospital and it did wonders. Pdoc was able to make some medication adjustments and I was able to regain some stability. Good luck to you.

[sugahorse1]

Please keep in touch. I'm so proud of you. I can actually see myself following suit shortly. Inpatient takes a lot of the weight off your shoulders and ensures you are in a safe place