[comicgeek007]

Not really so much hyper, just really really focused on doing things and sleeping less than usual. I forgot to take my meds for 3 days straight and I guess that's that. Don't feel bad about it at all, either. Just occasionally feel like I may pass out and it feels like my mind's twitching rather than my body. Weird.

I'm glad I'm getting off them finally. Really things can only go up, even if they go down. I think my meds were causing a lot of problems and even if I do get less stable and flip out then my dad will have reason to believe I'm not making crap up.

That probably sounds like a really stupid reason to try to get off my meds, but it comes as a potential added side benefit if I'm unable to deal with myself on my own.

[comicgeek007]

Okay, it's settled. I really feel strange and it's not a good thing. But it'll pass I hope.

Right?

[bluewave7]

Are you going off psyche meds cold turkey? I know how that feels. Better to taper down, but you know that I'm sure. Have you told your Pdoc? I appreciate your honesty about your Dad but it sounds like you are in need of some outside help already. Maybe the meds weren't right for you and caused the present instability? You could always switch meds instead of coming off of them cold turkey bc I know how bad that sux. Take care and keep us up on how you are doing.

[comicgeek007]

Originally Posted by bluewave7

Are you going off psyche meds cold turkey? I know how that feels. Better to taper down, but you know that I'm sure. Have you told your Pdoc? I appreciate your honesty about your Dad but it sounds like you are in need of some outside help already. Maybe the meds weren't right for you and caused the present instability? You could always switch meds instead of coming off of them cold turkey bc I know how bad that sux. Take care and keep us up on how you are doing.

yeah, but not on purpose. I forgot three days in a row. I am a thousand miles away from.my pdoc and he won't do long distance. I have a temp t lined , though. I'm not opposed to switching meds, I just have no one that can do that for me right now

[comicgeek007]

Crap. Crap. crap. I keep almost passing out. when does this end?!

[ultramar]

Hi comicgeek,

You've been forgetting to take your meds on and off for some time now, and very recently decided that you did not want to take them at all anymore. All and all you have seemed to be on the fence about receiving treatment for some time, despite how awful you've been feeling.

This is why your comment about your father jumped out at me. You say that maybe if you flip out from not taking your meds your father will finally believe that you are not 'making things up.' I wonder if this plays more of a role in your issues with medication than it may seem. Just something to think about.

I don't know if this has been suggested before or what your feelings are about it, but I think that therapy may be very helpful for you. What's been happening to you seems to have been -understandably- very confusing and maybe some additional support would really help you. Therapy could also help you cope with your illness and with treatment decisions. Do you think it would be possible to go into therapy?

Best of luck.

[comicgeek007]

Originally Posted by ultramar

Hi comicgeek,

You've been forgetting to take your meds on and off for some time now, and very recently decided that you did not want to take them at all anymore. All and all you have seemed to be on the fence about receiving treatment for some time, despite how awful you've been feeling.

This is why your comment about your father jumped out at me. You say that maybe if you flip out from not taking your meds your father will finally believe that you are not 'making things up.' I wonder if this plays more of a role in your issues with medication than it may seem. Just something to think about.

I don't know if this has been suggested before or what your feelings are about it, but I think that th:erapy may be very helpful for you. What's been happening to you seems to have been -understandably- very confusing and maybe some additional support would really help you. Therapy could also help you cope with your illness and with treatment decisions. Do you think it would be possible to go into therapy?

Best of luck.

I have a temp T appointment late this week. So far I feel no more or less stable than when I was taking my meds. I don't have that foggy feeling anymore, like something was blocking my ideas. Maybe I'll actually do well this coming semester since I did really bad in a lot of my classes while medicated- a lot of it directly because of medications (being too dizzy to get out of bed, unable to concentrate on my work, etc) but I feel like deep down I could have done better even though at the same time I feel like I tried my hardest. My dad supports me being off my meds, but that's just in line with the idea he doesn't think anything's wrong with me besides occasionally being a little depressed (three suicide attempts he knows about) but despite liking with my mother who's horribly bipolar (and just a horrible abusive person overall) for many years, he doesn't see my moods as a particular problem and thinks I was exaggerating about being manic (only had one true mania and he wasn't around to see it) even though my T was the one who suggested I was, not me!

I'm the kid who never complained about illnesses unless they got so bad it was dangerous ( bad sinus infection, whatever the hell went wrong with my kidneys, etc) partially because I have a fairly high pain tolerance, especially when depressed, but a lot because it seems whenever I do complain about an illness, it's'not as bad as I think it is' and I should just stop complaining about it.because it'ssuposedly nothing to worry about. The same has been true with bipolar so far. Dad thinks it's just bouts of depression despite what my T and pdoc think so with enough willpower and therapy, I can just get over it. AURRGH!! It doesn't work that way!

[winter4me]

Please be careful, and get your physical health, as well as mental, evaluated. Willpower is fine to finish the last leg of a race or complete a difficult task but it is a short term power and not a way to get over anything that persists.
Willpower is overrated. You also need to be able to sit in the place you are in and see it for what it is for you and really think about what activities/other things have really helped... I think willpower, as we use it, can be linked cleverly to denial and a false sense of being in control.

[comicgeek007]

Originally Posted by winter4me

Please be careful, and get your physical health, as well as mental, evaluated. Willpower is fine to finish the last leg of a race or complete a difficult task but it is a short term power and not a way to get over anything that persists.
Willpower is overrated. You also need to be able to sit in the place you are in and see it for what it is for you and really think about what activities/other things have really helped... I think willpower, as we use it, can be linked cleverly to denial and a false sense of being in control.

How/why would I get my physical health evaluated? Issues I'm having now are probably just withdrawal from my meds, right?

It's hard to put my thoughts down because my thoughts are going in a million directions at once. I don't really understand the last part of your post. I'm sorry. I've read it a few times and still don't really get it. please don't take offense, though. It's just me.

[ultramar]

Originally Posted by comicgeek007

I have a temp T appointment late this week. So far I feel no more or less stable than when I was taking my meds. I don't have that foggy feeling anymore, like something was blocking my ideas. Maybe I'll actually do well this coming semester since I did really bad in a lot of my classes while medicated- a lot of it directly because of medications (being too dizzy to get out of bed, unable to concentrate on my work, etc) but I feel like deep down I could have done better even though at the same time I feel like I tried my hardest. My dad supports me being off my meds, but that's just in line with the idea he doesn't think anything's wrong with me besides occasionally being a little depressed (three suicide attempts he knows about) but despite liking with my mother who's horribly bipolar (and just a horrible abusive person overall) for many years, he doesn't see my moods as a particular problem and thinks I was exaggerating about being manic (only had one true mania and he wasn't around to see it) even though my T was the one who suggested I was, not me!

I'm the kid who never complained about illnesses unless they got so bad it was dangerous ( bad sinus infection, whatever the hell went wrong with my kidneys, etc) partially because I have a fairly high pain tolerance, especially when depressed, but a lot because it seems whenever I do complain about an illness, it's'not as bad as I think it is' and I should just stop complaining about it.because it'ssuposedly nothing to worry about. The same has been true with bipolar so far. Dad thinks it's just bouts of depression despite what my T and pdoc think so with enough willpower and therapy, I can just get over it. AURRGH!! It doesn't work that way!

I'm very very sorry your family has been this way towards you -I wish they were more supportive, it sounds awful. Is there some way they could go in to see your pdoc so he/she could explain the illness to them? Do you think this would be helpful?

So you don't feel better on the meds, you continue to be unstable, but wouldn't it be worse to be unstable *and* have all the awful side effects of going off the meds cold turkey? What you're doing makes me afraid for you. You know that stopping them like this can hurt you... I hope your appointment with your pdoc goes well and you can find a med combination that works for you.

[Nessa213]

Originally Posted by comicgeek007

I have a temp T appointment late this week. So far I feel no more or less stable than when I was taking my meds. I don't have that foggy feeling anymore, like something was blocking my ideas. Maybe I'll actually do well this coming semester since I did really bad in a lot of my classes while medicated- a lot of it directly because of medications (being too dizzy to get out of bed, unable to concentrate on my work, etc) but I feel like deep down I could have done better even though at the same time I feel like I tried my hardest. My dad supports me being off my meds, but that's just in line with the idea he doesn't think anything's wrong with me besides occasionally being a little depressed (three suicide attempts he knows about) but despite liking with my mother who's horribly bipolar (and just a horrible abusive person overall) for many years, he doesn't see my moods as a particular problem and thinks I was exaggerating about being manic (only had one true mania and he wasn't around to see it) even though my T was the one who suggested I was, not me!

I'm the kid who never complained about illnesses unless they got so bad it was dangerous ( bad sinus infection, whatever the hell went wrong with my kidneys, etc) partially because I have a fairly high pain tolerance, especially when depressed, but a lot because it seems whenever I do complain about an illness, it's'not as bad as I think it is' and I should just stop complaining about it.because it'ssuposedly nothing to worry about. The same has been true with bipolar so far. Dad thinks it's just bouts of depression despite what my T and pdoc think so with enough willpower and therapy, I can just get over it. AURRGH!! It doesn't work that way!

I lived under my dad's thumb for years and really it wasn't until I was about 30 that I finally stopped giving a damn about what he thought. My husband would tell me that I simply NEEDED to do things for myself without concern for my father's feelings or opinions. But that is SO much easier said than done. I completely know how it is.

Your dad's own opinions on your illness are irrelevant really. Your diagnosis is your diagnosis. And it's your life, medicated or unmedicated it's still your choice.

[comicgeek007]

I'm sure he means well (he's setting up a temp T and pdoc while I'm up here on break) but the whole situation is very frustrating...

[Darth Bane]

maybe your dad cares about you so much that he wishes you are fine, of course his wishing wont make you fine but...

if you are quitting meds you need to do it right, it is as difficult as quitting drugs, yu need to replace meds with something like icecream/chocolates/food,watching movies,reading books or anything which will make you happy... quitting meds is full time job comicgeek007