[Mr. Radio]

Hello all. I hope everyone is having a great day. I've been getting consistently better due to my new medicine. I'm starting to feel like my old self again. I've spent most of my days leading up to the past few days being depressed. I hear it's the brains way of slowing down because of the massive strain put on it because of psychosis. My doctor prescribed me abilify and my depression has faded away. I'm still having a little trouble jumping back to talking with groups of my friends. I believe that will come in time. I am still rebuilding my self esteem. I believe it went down to zero during the past 5 months, still have a long way to go. If anyone has any tips for rebuilding self esteem, it would be greatly appreciated. Well that's all, I just wanted to share the good news. Peace out.

[A Red Panda]

That's excellent news Mr. Radio!

I have a hard time reintroducing myself to groups when I've been mostly in my own little lockdown. I tend to start out small, with just one person or maybe two. I'll want to do chilled out things - getting a meal, or hanging out at one of our places.

My self-esteem is really low in most areas. If I'm feeling particularly miserabl about myself I'll usually end up wallowing in self-pity for a bit, and maybe watch tv shows on netflix while I wallow. Eventually I'll get bored and restless and will find myself something to do that's either productive or more enjoyable. Then I feel better about myself!

I also find that when I'm depressed I slack off in taking nice care of my appearance. When I start to come out of it, I'll usually want to dye my hair and put more effort into how I dress and whatnot.

I'll start meeting my goals that I've gotten behind on (chores, usually!) and then feel proud of myself for seeing just how quickly I can actually get it done (often there's some guilt in there about 'why didn't you just keep up with this?!' but I remind myself that it was the depression and lack of energy...).

Enjoy the normal times

[Frokly]

i'll keep a track of this thread, i might need this somewhere down the line...

its strange though how i built up my confidence... i didn't do anything specific, after i came out of my psychosis... wandering places, doing strange things, looking for people, that seemingly didn't exist... i just felt so confident... i felt that i could handle anything after the psychotic episode... i didn't feel depressed but i felt hard press to continue with my education... i dropped out of a january intake and went to the next one... and just continued with my plan...

i think after the psychosis i just realized that surviving is not as difficult as it seems... and for me that was the perspective, i realized that life was actually quite simple... so for me i think it was the perspective i had off life after the psychotic episode...

[faerie_moon_x]

I'm glad you're feeling better.

The thing that rebuilds self-esteem is really getting away from depression. The longer you can stay out of a deep depression the more self-esteem you have. Also, doing things that make you feel you have accomplished something really helps this. It doesn't have to be big things. Like finishing your chores, getting showered and dressed every day, or completing small projects you'd left undone are all things that help you start to rebuild.

Bigger self-esteem issues, though, can be hard. For example, I was bullied througout my childhood and part of that was being told I'm ugly. Getting passed that has been close to impossible. Even my husband who tells me that I'm not ugly doesn't help, and I think he's crazy to think it. That goes all the way to the core of myself which just shows how bad bullying can effect you.

[Mr. Radio]

Originally Posted by CheshireCatGrin

That's excellent news Mr. Radio!

I have a hard time reintroducing myself to groups when I've been mostly in my own little lockdown. I tend to start out small, with just one person or maybe two. I'll want to do chilled out things - getting a meal, or hanging out at one of our places.

My self-esteem is really low in most areas. If I'm feeling particularly miserabl about myself I'll usually end up wallowing in self-pity for a bit, and maybe watch tv shows on netflix while I wallow. Eventually I'll get bored and restless and will find myself something to do that's either productive or more enjoyable. Then I feel better about myself!

I also find that when I'm depressed I slack off in taking nice care of my appearance. When I start to come out of it, I'll usually want to dye my hair and put more effort into how I dress and whatnot.

I'll start meeting my goals that I've gotten behind on (chores, usually!) and then feel proud of myself for seeing just how quickly I can actually get it done (often there's some guilt in there about 'why didn't you just keep up with this?!' but I remind myself that it was the depression and lack of energy...).

Enjoy the normal times

I did the same thing the last 5 months. Been watching more TV then I've ever done before, didn't take care of my hair, lacked organization (which I never change). I felt proud this morning when I got up at 6am and made breakfast, it was the first time I've woke up that early since everything happened. I know the feeling of wallowing in self pity. It seems like there is nothing better to do, bud in doing so it makes everyone around miserable too. I've found that my family is really happy these past couple of days because they've seen how I've finally found peace. I spent so much time hatting myself and being very critical. I've realized now that all I am missing is my confidence and I'll be back close to normal, but at the same time a different man. Good luck and thanks for the advice. Hope you're doing splendid.

[Mr. Radio]

Originally Posted by dark_heart_x

I'm glad you're feeling better.

The thing that rebuilds self-esteem is really getting away from depression. The longer you can stay out of a deep depression the more self-esteem you have. Also, doing things that make you feel you have accomplished something really helps this. It doesn't have to be big things. Like finishing your chores, getting showered and dressed every day, or completing small projects you'd left undone are all things that help you start to rebuild.

Bigger self-esteem issues, though, can be hard. For example, I was bullied througout my childhood and part of that was being told I'm ugly. Getting passed that has been close to impossible. Even my husband who tells me that I'm not ugly doesn't help, and I think he's crazy to think it. That goes all the way to the core of myself which just shows how bad bullying can effect you.

I've only been away from depression for about two whole days now. I am feeling a world of better and if it's a sign for things to come, I am talking more and already building confidence. What I've been doing to feel accomplished is going to work. I work for my fathers dock company. My schedule is based on when I want to work. My parents have really helped me out in this time of need.

I was always bullied throughout school, either appearance or personality. I think forming negative opinions about people is a waste of time and doesn't help anything. If it means anything, I think you have a very beautify inside. Thanks for helping me out dark heart x. Is that why your name is dark heart?

[Sometimes psychotic]

So I had cognitive behavioral therapy...it was part of a research study and every psych and trainee tht I encountered was incredibly positive about me and my recovery. That helped me immensely and the cbt helped me get rid of some false beliefs I had about being stupid etc. While what I had targeted psychosis we also talked about anxiety etc. so I highly recommend cbt for self esteem issues.

The second thing is just getting out again...what kinds of things do you want to talk to your friends about? If you goto concerts museums trips etc it helps get you out of the house but also gives you something to talk about. Wishing you a speedy recovery, glad you're feeling great!

[cool09]

Good for you. Take it slow. Do you have symptoms of over-sensitivity, easily offended and/or lots of triggers? If you've had lots of triggers for your symptoms take them slow and feel them out before getting fully involved. Average people totally can not relate to these things but that's what people with BP and other mental disorders have to do on a daily basis. I passed out when I took abilify so you're better off than me.

[A Red Panda]

Originally Posted by Mr. Radio

I did the same thing the last 5 months. Been watching more TV then I've ever done before, didn't take care of my hair, lacked organization (which I never change). I felt proud this morning when I got up at 6am and made breakfast, it was the first time I've woke up that early since everything happened. I know the feeling of wallowing in self pity. It seems like there is nothing better to do, bud in doing so it makes everyone around miserable too. I've found that my family is really happy these past couple of days because they've seen how I've finally found peace. I spent so much time hatting myself and being very critical. I've realized now that all I am missing is my confidence and I'll be back close to normal, but at the same time a different man. Good luck and thanks for the advice. Hope you're doing splendid.

I'm up and down right now; adjusting to meds and not sure how that's going! hahaha. Thanks for the well wishes!

I'm glad that you are on the way back to being your natural self! Keep it up! Don't you just love how depression causes such awful vicious circles that make it all worse??

[Mr. Radio]

Originally Posted by CheshireCatGrin

I'm up and down right now; adjusting to meds and not sure how that's going! hahaha. Thanks for the well wishes!

I'm glad that you are on the way back to being your natural self! Keep it up! Don't you just love how depression causes such awful vicious circles that make it all worse??

Depression is something I never thought I would have to deal with. I've been sad before because of losing people I love, but everyone morns. Before everything happened I thought there was no chance at me becoming depressed. It really changes who you are for that period of time. I didn't recognize myself. I'm only questioning whether the depression was due to having been through psychosis or whether it is because I'm bipolar. Either way, I feel blessed that it's over now.

[A Red Panda]

I tend to go a little bonkers if I spend too long trying to think of what the "cause" is. Sometimes there's clearly something that triggers it... other times it just sneaks up on me... and other times it's like I just got hit in the face with a frying pan!

[Mr. Radio]

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

So I had cognitive behavioral therapy...it was part of a research study and every psych and trainee tht I encountered was incredibly positive about me and my recovery. That helped me immensely and the cbt helped me get rid of some false beliefs I had about being stupid etc. While what I had targeted psychosis we also talked about anxiety etc. so I highly recommend cbt for self esteem issues.

The second thing is just getting out again...what kinds of things do you want to talk to your friends about? If you goto concerts museums trips etc it helps get you out of the house but also gives you something to talk about. Wishing you a speedy recovery, glad you're feeling great!

I've heard about cognitive remediation and the wonders it does for people who've believed they've lost some of their mental capability. What is cbt? I am going to try hanging out with my friends more so I can get more in a rhythm and be able to pick up where I left off. It's like I fell off the cliff of life and now I have to figure everything out again. I'm up for the challenge and going to do it with a positive attitude.

[emgreen]

Glad to hear you're feeling well, Mr. Radio. I, too, have seen quite a turn around the past month or so. When I have my episodes I tend to isolate a lot...losing touch with friends because of this. I'm lucky that I'm a recovering alcoholic & have meetings to attend; just being around other people makes it easier to transition into "normality."

I've had CBT training in the past. It's more than one technique that helps you reason out your feelings. I don't know about you, but I tend to give way to irrational fears when I'm having one of my episodes. DBT (Dialectic Behavioral Therapy) is CBT on steroids. It utilizes most all of the tools of CBT, but has a more Eastern based philosophy...meditation, progressive muscle relaxation, etc. I wish I could say it's a cure all, but it can help me transition between the depressed & manic times. I'd suggest either if you have a chance to pursue them.

[Sometimes psychotic]

So CBT is basically a bag of tricks. It gets you thinking about the thoughts behind your thoughts---so like I said I thought I was stupid, but my therapist point by point challenged that contention---the nail in the coffin was that I had worked for my current boss for 10 years and would she keep me on if I were stupid? My boss is an MD with a masters who is also section chief so she wouldn't settle for stupid.

One of my favorite things I learned from CBT was self care. If you start to feel a little down its best to stop it before it starts. So pull together three or more of your favorite things and do them all at once. For me I liked going to the zoo to take pictures of the plants and animals, but I added to that listening to favorite tunes on mp3 and buying cotton candy. So if a little bit makes you smile a lot at once will make you happy.

There's more but really you need a therapist to guide you---the books just don't work as well. But I have to say the DBT emgreen suggested sounds awfully cool too!

[comicgeek007]

I' glad you're doing better. I'm still I guess in the begining stages of therapy even though I'e been in it this time for months, so we haven't worked on building my self esteem up yet (though when I'm manic we need to tone it down!)

[Mr. Radio]

Sounds like that could be of major help, the CBT training or the DBT training. I'm also going to look into this cognitive remedeation skills training. I want to excel past who I use to be into a better and stronger person. I believe if I come through this confidently, then nothing can stop me (pending another psychotic break...... lets hope I'm not planing on being Santa anytime soon). I'm still amazed how Forkly came through psychosis still confident. While I was psychotic I was extremely confident, because I thought I had powers and such. I didn't think I would crash that hard into depression. I didn't get depressed based on knowing what I went through, it was more like my body and mind just said. "Ok, time to be depressed for a while and slow the F*** down." No more million miles a minute. Anyways thanks for the helpful suggestions.

[catsrhelm]

Hello there, Mr. Radio. I too am bi-polar. However, some time ago I realized there was chemical depression and situational depression. Chemical depression is of course messed up body chemistry. Situational is life just giving you a hard time. Sometimes, both kinds hit at once. So, don't feel so all alone.