[QuincyAllen]

I was diagnosed in 2006 with Bipolar. It is thick in my family. Heredity no doubt played a key issue. The last four years I have lost my Dad, my sister (my only sibling), my 3 dogs died, lost a business, attempted suicide, blew 5 years of sobriety (just celebrated 1 year again) just moved (sold the old place) and I feel like crap. I feel down. I just don't see any hope for......feeling better; yet somewhere inside I know better. I do not know when things will enlighten, but I eagerly await the day. Lately I have been sobbing uncontrollably missing the old place, missing my Dad, missing my sister, missing my little buddies; the dogs. My wife is supportive, but doesn't UNDERSTAND why I am where I am at. Anybody else been here? I just want to know I am not alone.....

[wildflowerchild25]

i've absolutely been where you are. grief can be a powerful monster. it is why i ended up with ECT treatment seven years ago. it's absolutely normal to feel so bad with so much loss, regardless of bipolar.

my husband can't understand why i'm where i'm at either. he just keeps saying i'm not being strong enough or i'm not trying hard enough when that's just not the case.

hugs to you - i hope your enlightenment comes soon!

welcome to PC by the way!

[Mollywisk]

You're not alone. In the time period, I lost my beloved grandmother, my dad and my only sibling. I've changed jobs twice after moving to another state and leaving behind almost everyone and everything I'd ever known to move with my husband for his job. He then had an affair, lost his job, went through a horrible lawsuit, found a job that's 4 hours away.

I know how you feel wishing for the day you will feel better. Like you, I believe it can happen! Glad that you have a supportive wife too.

[gayleggg]

Welcome to PsychCentral. I'm sorry for all the loses you have had to suffer. Having bipolar and having to deal with that much grief has to be hard. It might be a good idea to see a grief counselor, if you aren't already. I'm glad your wife is supportive, but there is no way that someone without bipolar can totally understand what it is like. It is a hard illness to understand for those of us that have it, much less those that don't. Check out the forums and jump in when you feel like it or start a thread of your own if you wish. Posting is the best way to get to know everyone. Wishing you the best.
Gayle

[Kristiemarie]

I've been all over the place too. Hang in there. Your one year is HUGE so celebrate that today.

You're doing what so many people can't, my friend.

Yes...been there...too many times. Stressing and pain is my normal. My support system is my son, my T and this forum, actually. I"m lonely all the time, and glad I'm alone so I don't put anyone through what I am.

Keep on keepin on...

[deelooted]

Welcome to PC, and nice to meet you

Yup, my wife is so sweet and supportive and trying to understand, but we still have a ways to go. What has really helped me help her is this site, as a matter of fact. The insights I have gotten from this site has been amazing, and I am so thankful for this online community.

Some of the peeps here have been there done that, and offer compassionate and effective advice.

[Muppy]

I can relate!!! 31 months ago my bipolar son was killed when he took himself to the hospital because he had been off his meds for 4 days and he was suicidal. The doctor obviously did not consider drug interaction because Jordan had a .10 alcohol and was positive for diazepams. The doctor ordered klonopin and oxycontin. My son had respiratory arrest and died 5 days later.

My oldest son committed suicide Feb. 5, 2013. He was very sick and not taking meds.

My husband is 17 years older than I and for the past year has been very sick. He's been hospitalized 6 times with kidney failure and serious cardiac problems. Every day is a blessing with him.

Although I want the house company ready at any time, it just doesn't happen. I've lost so much and will lose more in the future. I just don't know when. He can be fine one day and seriously ill the next.

So, no, you are not alone. I've yet to find support that eases my pain. I'm on the verge of tears or crying most days. I'm angry at myself for not doing the things I think I should.