[Anika.]

One of those days shoulda stayed in bed. Got in car accident around 1:30 in next city over, ambulanced to hospital, cat scan, xrays ect..finally allowed to leave at 10:00 pm wiith a concussion and whiplash. Meanwhile my kids were at home in our city so needless to say I was worried, my sis checked on them but still. And we had to take a taxi home only cost $150 waiting for taxi ouside hospital and police attempt to arrest a man who is very unwilling.. takes 11 people to restrain him and I wanted to move further away just in case. Standing 4 feet from them seemed scary but my bf is stuborn. I hate being close to violent stuff just can't take it.

Now wake at 5 am to my neighbours house on fire. Huge at this point and I go outside and find I am the only person awake yet besides the older couple who live there. Call 911 get other people up because houses are so freaking close to each other. Get them water etc. And man I feel so bad for them, it is a big fire nothing will be salvageable. a huge tree fell on the house next to them last year right through the centre of the house just missing the woman. And Sometimes you feel like "I sure hope this isn't my bad luck , cause I mean I have really bad luck and these people are near me". I know that's silly but you feel it sometimes.

What a ridiculous day... tomorrow better be calmer and safer.

More injuries omg.. I am training for my half marathon and this year has been nothing but injury after injury. Is someone trying to say something?

OMG! It's like your living in a movie lol.

[Anika.]

Roll credits pleeeeease! This is right on top of my bike injury claim a month ago o.0 which I am still working out with the insurance company. Ya the one that was 3 weeks after my surgery. No one is dead so I should focus on that.

Anika, don't focus on the bad stuff. The accident could have been much worse. You walked away from it. The guy that was getting arrested could have been your bf. And it could have been your house that was on fire, or your neighbor might not have made.

I know that it's a little simplistic, but inside of every dark cloud, I try to find a silver lining.

Anika

Jeff

Is all of this combined triggering for you? I know that these things induce hypomania within myself!

[venusss]

damn... at least it's over all this ****. Try to relax now.

[Anika.]

I dunno Dan I have been free from mania and depression for long now but yes I would say so but I'm not in to much fear of relapsing, my tools seem to be working still. If I didn't have my tools then big fat yes to mania inducing. My bf has been worried lately about me but it's august = my usual psychotic manic break time. Just a little woah there slow the heck down world. But I feel okay but maybe a little slipperry sloap to manouvre around.

Jeff, no that is great not simple. I try to think like that most of the time. There is always a silver lining and there is always worse. I did think about it... We took a wrong turn to get where we were headed and then that lady hit us. I was given morphine and other drugs at hospital and could not sleep tonight which is why I saw the fire at 5am. Coulda been worse if the older couple did not wake up and I was sound asleep too.

Thanks guys

I know you, but I never knew that about you. the part of being symptom free! Is that because emotions play that big of a part in cycling and episodes and you have full control? or..... well.... how does that work?

[Anika.]

Manageing my environment, stress, reactions, diet, exercise.... mindfulness, meditation, yoga, minset, and a whole lot of healing and working on retraining my brain for a different reaction to produce a different outcome.

I have been able to stop or get out of depression pretty quickly for a few years now with skills I learnt in group therapy. The mania took much much longer to figure out. And no gaurentee but so far so good. It might sound strange but it has actually worked for me. Went from five month long mania's with psychosis to nadda. But still working on not expecting it to be around the corner, it doesn't have to be. Gotta work on bf thinking it doesn't have to be either but it will come.

Maybe by doing that it balances the chemicals in the brain so that the changes don't happen? hmmmmm... You have really given me something to consider. Thank you.

[Anika.]

Dan look up neuroplasicity, I believe it's entirely possible to change the brain. Marie Pasinski, M.D.: Nurture the Miracle of Neuroplasticity

That's just one article but there is a ton of good articles about it. I'm no dr. but the brain is an amazing organ so can't see why it would not be possible.

http://www.refocuser.com/2009/05/neu...rm-new-habits/

It must be possible, your living proof of that.

it brings up some emotions in me thinking about it. It gives me a sense of responsibility regarding my condition. That is something that I have learned not to feel. So it's conflicting for me. I also have learned not to have any hope when it comes to cycling and/or episodes. Those feeling would and have torn me up when I was not successful in controlling the changes that happen with me.

But, hearing that it is possible to do something about this...hmmmm....
I have learned that hope is a dangerous thing for me. Accceptance has always been my key thing to do, not hope. Hope hurts.

I'll look into it though. If there is something that I can do to change what is happening I would be a fool not to. again, thank you.

[venusss]

I think it's important not to drive yourself crazy. Some would call it "ignoring the symptoms" or "denial", but it's really not needed to speed dial your doctor everytime you feel something. Sometimes it plain passes and the less you obsess about it... the easier it passes. It's the thin line between being aware and between driving yourself crazy over nothing.

[Anika.]

Yeah I totally get where you are coming from and went through that myself. Responsability is a scary loaded word depending how you view it. But it can be a really good thing becauae it means we have choice which means we have some freedom. Way better option than no choice and no freedom in my opinion. And we have not been taught to see bipolar in any other way besides no options. It's what we hear over and over so no wonder we feel that way. But the universe is too crazy, too many possibilities to be stuck without change.

Maybe look into buddhism too not for the spirituality part so much but for the philosophy and practicle practise part. I know you are not religious so not pushing the spiritual part. Basically they have these ideas down pretty good and have for so long. It's cool that you mention acceptance cause I think thats key. Just what are we accepting, maybe accept that if you do have another episode it is just that. And let it pass with acceptance and accept that you can try again and accept that hey it might work too. I don't know if it's so much about control as it is about change and acceptance and being open.

[Anika.]

Totally agree Venus. it's about flow not resistance.

Yeah, I think a lot of times we expect the worst and it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. Has been that way with me before, brought on my anxiety and panic feeling. I've gotten a good grip on the anxiety, believe it or not after yesterday lol.

I'm not blowing up the threads today! Yay! Go me lol.

I like the idea of buddism... always has appealed to me. that, and Vipassana meditation.

[Speed3]

WOW, I hope most of your days aren't as stressful. That is just unreal.

You made it through.

[BlueInanna]

Ohhh my dear!!! Anika, what the heck!!! Crazy crazy day!!!!!!!!!
A movie, box office hit: "Anika's Busy Day Out" ... lol

So glad you and bf and kids all end up safe and with a home! And lucky thing you awoke and got the help to the neighbors... wow... and no one was injured...

[~Christina]

Anika

I am so happy that you are OK that's the most important thing ! I think everyone gets a good dose of bad stuff every year, You have had your fill for this year and the next

I hope you are able to rest and allow your body to heal, I know it's hard to slow down

Sending you loads of good thoughts and healing energy !

I am relieved you are safe

[Last Laugh]

Wow Anika! I want to know how you ate doing it! Books? What type of therapy? So happy for you. I had a crazy day yesterday too, but nothing compared to that! xox

wow you had more bad things happen to you in one day than most people in ten years you should book a spa weekend to give yourself some relaxation time. i hope you feel better very soon. take care

[Anika.]

Aww thanks to all of you!! Happy to report nothing happened yesterday Took the week off of work tho as the stiffness and soreness is really setting in. Real bad headache and memory, cognition not so great. Two of the houses burnt down, so that is pretty sad but they build them so close together they are nearly touching.

A spa sounds awesome Chocmouse! We have a trip booked in two weeks to Mexico.. with no kids !!! I am pretty excited because I have never been on a plane yet and havent gone to many places. So I will get my relax time in for sure. Unless our resort sinks into a sink hole or our plane crashes it should be good. I have been phyching myself up for snorkeling since I am afraid of fish and sea creatures.

Thanks for all the well wishes you guys. I wish the same for you too. I am gonna take it slow but ya I am antsy to be going for a run and I have been doing the brazil butt lift videos and been having so much fun with that but maybe just yoga for now. See how I feel in a few days. can't say I'm not frustrated with more healing time.

Last Laugh, I elimainated gluten and most grains completely. I have celiacs so that was needed however there is research into gluten and schizophrenia, add, and bipolar that shows positive results and links. When I have gotten gluten by accident I did become manic. The research into gluten shows a link between mania and antigluten antibodies and same with psychosis. No dairy, and basically a clean diet rich in vitamans and nutrients, omegas etc. The trick with gluten is that it takes a while to feel results and it has to be 100% removal. If you are interested a good place to get info is from celiac websites like celiac.com because it can seem overwhelming and confusing at first. But I know that there are a lot of bipolara who have had amazing results with gluten free.

I picked up yoga a few times a week and then increases that to 6-7 days a week mostly vecause I loved doing it because I loved how good I felt. That in vombination with learning mindfulness along with other physical activity like running, biking etc.

But I also put a lot of effort into healing old wounds and worked on my thought processes. And that was the hardest not to mention longest part. Still working on it. But all of that stuff together has made a huge impact on my mental health.