It finally happened.

I haven't been posting a lot lately, but I felt I should post this. I have been stable on meds for 11 months and 2 weeks.. Last week my life fell apart. I very very quickly became manic despite being on meds. I spent my entire checking account and savings account purchasing things off Amazon and Ebay. I also started doing some wierd things that my roommate picked up on.

Well I am still manic as I type this, but now I am broke, busted and can't be trusted. I called my mobile psych rehab worker today and said we need to talk. She was like is there something wrong, but I am a master at deception, I said no. Well she came by and noticed right away things weren't alright. She and I talked for about 2 hours and came to the conclusion at this point I'm not hospital material. I'm not threatening myself or others, well not seriously anyways. She also had some pull and got me a PDoc appointment on Tuesday, something that would be impossible without her connections. I also agreed to sign up for a payee. I cried. I have now lost control of my finances, however I think it will be for the better. I bought 4 desktop computers, 4 brand new 22 inch LED screens, a home theatre system and a 40 inch LED TV, all in about an hour. 4300.00 poof, gone. I am not happy about the payee but I will take her suggestion.

My AD stopped working about 2 months ago, but I didn't want to try anything else because the loss of libido. So I've been festering without an AD. Then shortly thereafter my mood stabilizer stopped working, that I got changed to Lamictal, because I was driving myself insane. So without an AD, and little to no sleep everynight finally pushed my body over the edge and made me sick. I would appreciate any kind thoughts or prayers. Thankfully I am not so bad yet that I have passed the point of no return, but I am shufflin that way.

Can you return or sell some of the purchases?

sorry to hear you are not doing well?

first and foremost, hugs. you are not the only financial wreck around here (finger pointing to myself). you are doing the responsible thing by calling the psych rehab worker and getting an appointment asap w/ pdoc. You are still self-aware so good for you on that front! I don't know if you feel like you have any control over your the level of escalation, but i have found that forcing myself to stretch and meditate (even for 1 min) has been helpful. when those two things are not approachable, i breathe. I breathe in as much as i can and then i exhaled as much as i can. it is sort of an aggressive form of breathing but when my anxiety is high or my body/mind is busy it works to help. I just do it every time i remember or think of it. I try to set my iphone timer for however long i think i can focus. there are times when i get two breaths in and my brain checks out. I still feel those two breathes were worthwhile though.

I hope your landing is soft and that there are no more bumps on this "flight" : )

Yeah, what Venus said. A lot of places have a buyer's remorse policy. As long as the stuff is still in the original packaging, they'll take it back and refund your money minus a restocking fee.

And yeah, a payee is a good idea. Been there, done that.

Hugs Hugs and more Hugs. At least you recognize whats going on and you are trying to fix it. Im sending all my positive energy your way.

If you bought it online and it hasn't been shipped yet... you can nearly always cancel the order!

I hope you can cancel and the pdoc can get you what you need.

Maybe when you stabilize again, you can prove that you don't need a payee by managing the funds you DO get to hold on to responsibly.

I can send everything back except the TV which I bought on EBay. So. I have never been able to budget money. Once I get it, I spend it. So I think a payee is justified at this point.

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can you set a limit on your card?

I don't know.

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ask your bank? They will not offer this straight away, but most will set a limit if you ask for one.

If you can't always fully control yourself, which can happen, cause we are sometimes impulsive and all, the best is to set roadblocks and hurdles in times of calm.

I'm fairly certain your bank can set a limit. I worked for a credit union way back in the day and we did it all the time. All they have to do is enter it in the computer. :-)

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Thank you, I will check with my bank. My mobile psych worker is going to also go to my PDoc appointment. She called me a bit ago and said she really needs to go, because I have a history of saying everything is "fine." So essentially she is going to make sure I tell the doctor what is wrong.

Regarding roadblocks. I created one for myself. I'm broke. I tried to sleep last night, I slept about 2.5 hours. So my total sleep is about 10 hours in 6 days. Surprisingly today I am somewhat calm and collective. Maybe I'm coming down. I don't know. It's been a while since I was manic that I really don't know what it feels like to come down. Eh oh well. I'll survive. Oh did I mention that I tried to buy a horse the other night at 3am? Yea that was interesting.

Hehe I've brought a horse when hypo too. Do you have PRN to take for sleep or will you just wait it out?

So when is your pdoc appointment?

Seroquel is the only thing to put me out. PDoc appointment is Tuesday @215. I'm coming down, waiting on the depressive crash now.

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Not sure if this is helpfull, but what I did for a while after my bankruptcy was to actually freeze my credit card in a block of ice in freezer. Since I rapid cycle by the time it unfreezes the spending urge usually passes. This idea I got from a bankruptcy lawyer. Obviously microwaving it would not be a good idea. It's mostly a tactile reminder to wait before impulse buying.

In a block of ICE? Really, that is really inventive. Thank you! I'm going to try that.

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Hi,

Sorry to hear about your financial problems, I know what that's like. At the time of purchase I feel 100% certain it's an absolutely essential item I need to further my progression in life or purely for enjoyment. Few days later I couldn't even care about it anymore, just keep cluttering up my rapidly shrinking place....

Joe

I have a $350 spending limit on my debit card. I put myself through bankruptcy, so I only have one credit card with a limit of $500 which for some reason will not let me charge $300 (lucky me)

My bank is very accommodating and will send me instant emails on purchases of $125 and above. I think I set the limit at one point. When I get home and read those emails, it gives me a window to think and cancel the order.

Don't beat on yourself on the stuff you can't return. Focus instead on the positive actions you are taking, i.e; calling your therapist, not actively hiding what you've done and managing to get an appointment with your doctor.

btdt