Bipolar daily check-in thread #3

Moreta · Oct 22, 2013, 08:31 AM

I'm nervous today. Going to meet with a person at a temp agency about a job. Had to sign a consent to a drug test form. Luckily, I quit smoking pot at the beginning of september, so I should be good now.

Coming off this geodon is rough, yesterday was my last day on it, so we'll see if I'm able to function tonight. I'm just filled with so much rage though. Maybe my pdoc can raise the Latuda.

Mental reward · Oct 22, 2013, 09:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

sitting here self harming

house to myself this morning so i've all the freedom in the world

=( I hope you feel better!! I don't work today and feel like I can't move. Currently I'm a depressed state. Like--hard. Do you know anything about rapid cycling bi polar. You are bi polar right? I'm trying
To start a thread about all this but I can't figure it put still new. You self harm? When you're depressed? Or is that ur issue? I'm so sorry ur feeling that way

Oct 22, 2013, 09:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mental reward

=( I hope you feel better!! I don't work today and feel like I can't move. Currently I'm a depressed state. Like--hard. Do you know anything about rapid cycling bi polar. You are bi polar right? I'm trying
To start a thread about all this but I can't figure it put still new. You self harm? When you're depressed? Or is that ur issue? I'm so sorry ur feeling that way

yes, i am BP

i've been dealing with it now for over 13 years- i was diagnosed quite young.

as for creating a thread on the forums, near the top of the forums, their is a link that says... post new thread.

click on that, and fill in the title of the thread- then next to that type what you want to say.

hope that helps

Moose72 · Oct 22, 2013, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Supanova

Stuck in the house, I need to go outside, I know I need to go outside. Just go outside and it wont seem so scary. Im not even scared really, just stuck, like I really really really do not want to go out that door. I dont know why, well I do, I want to play with my horse, but as much as I practice mindfulness and just try to enjoy being with her its still such a drag. Now the guilt is setting in because I dont want to do it. But I do, but I just cant seem to get out that door. Excuses excuses, I know there was a time when this was easy, when I would wake up first thing and be out there with her. Why is it so hard now? It shouldnt be this hard. Its not even that hard, all I have to do is go outside... but its too hard.

I hear ya. I know the feeling.

Moose72 · Oct 22, 2013, 05:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Heading into mania, I have the flu, I feel horrible physically and should be run down but I'm energized, can't sleep, racing thoughts, can't slow down, it's heading there. What an odd combination, mania and the flu.

Yes that's an odd combo! I had the flu last January and I felt like a warm, wet dishrag for a week straight. I can't imagine mania on top of it.

Oct 22, 2013, 07:33 PM

Still feel like I can't quite wake up, like my head is filled with cotton. I have an 8am dr appt tomorrow, a 9am flight THurs and have to do this on my own...I have no idea how I'm going to manage. Other than I think I'm just going to have to skip saphris for a few days and hope for the best. I don't feel manic that's for sure, if anything, I feel sort of down...like I don't want to be bothered to take this trip to see family this weekend, or pack or any of it. Housework? bleh! I just want to sleep or sit on the computer. I think my pdoc was trying to keep me from going to the depressed side of the cycle but I may have gone into it anyway. grrrr. just in time for a wedding, how fun.

Andysmom · Oct 22, 2013, 08:40 PM

Got through the start of a panic attack by breathing. Hallelujah! I don't know why these have suddenly reappeared in my life but I am not happy about it. Gotta figure it out.

Blue_Bird · Oct 22, 2013, 09:06 PM

Still feeling extremely sick, going to have to cancel my appointment with my therapist and reschedule.

AnxietyGirl916 · Oct 22, 2013, 09:26 PM

Doing pretty good today. Gave my notice at work today. Last day is 11/15. Pdoc appt. tomorrow morning. My have to go off my meds though because I won't have insurance for a few months.

Oct 23, 2013, 03:53 AM

tough day for me today.

my family want to start planning my nan's funeral.. and some of them have gone to the home this morning to see her

she's 91, and has dimentia- so yeah, gonna be hard today with all this talk of final arangements and stuff

Oct 23, 2013, 04:44 AM

Got about 2 hours sleep last night. Full moon messes with my sleeping at times, eventually I drugged myself so I could get some sleep before work. Full day at work, but I did actually play with my horse and spend a lot of time with her, so I am proud of that. She is such a sweetie and happy to just be near me. Told my partner I was too tired for him to come around tonight, really I just cant be bothered having to cook and clean. Not sure what to do for dinner, I am mostly out of food and have very limited money, but its all too easy not to eat properly and cause my mood to drop.

Oct 23, 2013, 08:48 AM

saw my pdoc today, she is taking me off atypicals for a while because I am showing signs of the start of metabolic syndrome...yay, no more woolly head, I didn't take saphris last night and I have felt clearer this morning than in days past. hopefully depakote won't pack the pounds on. But I don't feel the maniccy feelings, don't feel depressed or anxious so keep our fingers crossed I get back to being me. I need me back!

anneo59 · Oct 23, 2013, 09:18 AM

hanging in there, trying to stay even

EBD8 · Oct 23, 2013, 10:57 AM

I have been having trouble functioning at a level that I grew accustomed to after I was hospitalized back in May. For the past 2 months I went from taking Depakote ER to Depakote. I never knew such a slight change of medication could make such a huge difference. Good news is that my medicare insurance kicks in the 1st of November and it will pay for the Depakote ER. Supposedly the price for a month's supply jumped from $43.00 a month to $250.00 a month so I had to switch. Everyone around me says I'm a completely differently person when I take my medication so I now take it for me and them. I used to think I was smarter than EVERYONE else, not any longer.

Zabine · Oct 23, 2013, 12:04 PM

Didn't want to wake up today. AGAIN.

Super irritable. Restless. Appointment tomorrow, hopefully I make it with out doing anything I will regret later............

Moose72 · Oct 23, 2013, 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by emomom

saw my pdoc today, she is taking me off atypicals for a while because I am showing signs of the start of metabolic syndrome...yay, no more woolly head, I didn't take saphris last night and I have felt clearer this morning than in days past. hopefully depakote won't pack the pounds on. But I don't feel the maniccy feelings, don't feel depressed or anxious so keep our fingers crossed I get back to being me. I need me back!

Depakote was my first bipolar med. I did gain weight on it. I know that it was a good drug in terms of how I felt mentally, though. I switched to Lithium after a bit because of the weight gain. Unfortunatelly, I'm now stuck in Topomax, Lithium, and Zyprexa trifecta.

Moose72 · Oct 23, 2013, 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zabine

Didn't want to wake up today. AGAIN.

Super irritable. Restless. Appointment tomorrow, hopefully I make it with out doing anything I will regret later............

Let's hope! Just do things for you today.

Moreta · Oct 23, 2013, 01:10 PM

I seriously need to stop falling asleep at work. Idk what my problem is. I'm having a hard time functioning, being tired all the damn time. But then I can't sleep enough at night, and wake up early b/c of nightmares. Man, this sucks.

Moose72 · Oct 23, 2013, 01:20 PM

So far, its a normal day for me. Nothing to report. Have a mammogram tomorrow. I thought it was at the hospital, but its at my dr's office, which is GREAT because I know exactly where that is unlike the hospital parking and office, etc.!

Phoenix_1 · Oct 23, 2013, 01:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moreta

I seriously need to stop falling asleep at work. Idk what my problem is. I'm having a hard time functioning, being tired all the damn time. But then I can't sleep enough at night, and wake up early b/c of nightmares. Man, this sucks.

I had nightmares every night when I was on Effexor. Are you taking it by any chance?

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Phoenix_1 · Oct 23, 2013, 01:24 PM

I'm still sleeping too much. I have a sinus infection so it could be impacting my sleep. I don't feel as depressed as I did last week.

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AnxietyGirl916 · Oct 23, 2013, 03:01 PM

Saw the pdoc today. I'm stable and don't have to go back for. 3 months. She have me a Rx for a 90 day supply of meds.

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Oct 23, 2013, 05:05 PM

YEE HAW
OMG too much energy today...geeze maybe its cause I spent the last 2 weeks sleeping so much?
I am taking Effexor and the depression is history...just hope this med doesn't poop out anytime soon cause the is the best I have been in....well maybe ever? I have been depressed for so long I am still adjusting to life w/o it.
BUT I still have the other stuff to deal with...too much energy today for sure, thinking I can do things I just can't (like I am gonna be a piano prodigy when I finally start lessons...yeah right) or that I am gonna lose my 25 pounds before Christmas AND have an awesome bod too. Geeze!
So once reality sets in I usually get super depressed and its just not happening.
Happy happy joy joy.
Now to get my financial house in order. Ugh.