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#401
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Finally, after not leaving the house most of the week (no reason, just not), I found myself up, dressed, and heading for the door. The dog pleaded frantically and the cat calmly presented me with his harness, so they both went with me. I dropped off some things and picked up others that I've been putting off.
I didn't do the food shopping because the critters were with me & I never leave them in the car, even on a beautiful cool day like today. Maybe later. There were papers I HAD to drop off--so I guess I can still function if I HAVE to. I guess that's not too sad ...
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roads & Charlie |
![]() Phoenix_1
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#402
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I took my youngest to the arcade where he (again) played a knock-off of dance dance revolution. He loves that game! Its HARD too. I can only play on novice! We also played air hocky and pinball. Now I'm home just listening to the furnace blow. Wonder what the kids are up to. They are home today; their dad cancelled picking them up! I can hear my eldest talking on the phone or the xbox. The other two I don't know. Better go check! I usually spend the day with my friend but he is off at his mom's today and he has a thing about never inviting me over there again as if I did something wrong. I was perfectly polite, but he doesn't think I played with the babies enough. Okay that's not my job! Why should I have to ? They are not my babies. But because of this, he won't invite me over there to socialize with his family anymore. Ugh.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
#403
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Doing ok today. Feeling a little off balance today.
Went to the farmers market with the hubby and picked up a TON of fresh produce for like, $17. Cleaned house, did some laundry. That's about it.
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[COLOR="DeepSkyBlue"][FONT="Century Gothic"]Dx: Bipolar II w/mixed episodes, PTSD, Anxiety Disorder, Insomnia Rx: Lamictal 100mg, Zoloft 75mg, Klonopin 0.5mg x1 /0.25 PRN “Insanity is knowing that what you're doing is completely idiotic, but still, somehow, you just can't stop it.” ― Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation |
#404
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Doing alright. Lately, have been "off" in various directions, sometimes by a lot, but none too persistent. Sucks, of course, though while the agitation/howl-into-the-void/deep sadness/loneliness/irritability or what-have-you is going on(!) Mostly been a bit hypo lately, but sometimes in a bad way. Today tackled a big organizational project. Chaos stresses me the f*** out. Hoping this will mellow out the agitation.
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#405
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One thing I haven't been able to grasp yet is how I am hypo and don't wanna sit still but yet everything I need to do is met with disinterest and "nah, get to it later".
Going into my 9th week with no depression, now gotta see about my other symptoms and see if meds are needed. Great session with my T. |
#406
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well.... after having my lovely cleaning blitz yesterday I was feeling quite good... for the first time in months. I was actually excited to go to a social with my friends for her bday.
Got there, and we weren't there for very long.... about an hour... when my ex came in. It was a short relationship and it ended almost a year ago.... but we broke up as he didn't want to be involved with anyone as he was wanting to join the army. I even told him then that the army is slow. And I hadn't seen him since spring so I was hoping he'd gone. And in he walked with a new girlfriend. I wasn't expecting that and pretty much had a meltdown. Thank goodness I wasn't really drunk!!! I got my friend's bf to drive me home because I was not calming down.
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"The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..." "I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am. |
![]() Anonymous45023, roads, Zabine
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#407
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I feel lost today. Do not want to stay out of bed. Life seems too painful. No need to go to psych hospital because I have no intention of harming myself whatsoever. This is really getting bad, and I don't know what to do about it.
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![]() Anonymous200280, Anonymous45023
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#408
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I'm just angry today. Depressed and angry. Don't want to go anywhere, don't want to do anything, don't want to talk to anybody.
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#409
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i'm not doing well at all today, lots of thoughts and stuff.
on the plus side, having some colder weather later (or so they say) that's always a bonus for me |
#410
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Spaced out, depersonalized, minor depression, no hypo mania, disinterested in things. Going to snap out of it, or try, going to clean, ALL DAY! Going to go into the week crisp and clean... That tends to help. Went to a party last night and got on a hypomanic tear, and then felt really really weird about it... Should have stayed home!
:-/ Soon... MT
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Whether you are a big deal or a small deal, there is always some kind of a deal going on. - Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche |
#411
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Not sleeping well at night & sleeping in in the morning. I better smarten up or I'll end ip like I did in January, sleeping all day and being up all night. Not good. I'm having lots of weird dreams lately in the morning. Some scary, some not.
Sent from my Note 2 using Tapatalk 4
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Dx: BP2 with GAD and OCD Seroquel 100 mg Risperdal 0.5 mg Clonazepam (Klonopin) 1.5 mg Buspar 5 mg Lamictal 200 mg Coversyl Plus for high blood pressure Crestor for high cholesterol Asmanex Ventolin ![]() |
![]() Anonymous45023, Blue_Bird, roads
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#412
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Quote:
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__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
#413
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I think the Wellbutrin is having an effect on me.
I still did not want to get out of bed, when I did, I didn't want to do much. I felt like I wanted to go for a run....but it was cold out...no I am not going for a run. Then I was texting a classmate and he asked me about my project. BOOM! I got it done. After that simple message. Then I did the laundry, dishes, my hair, went on a run, trained my legs, filled out some paperwork. WTH? I am pretty spent now. Maybe because "ate food" is not in that list.... Anyone have taste changes? I usually like the Chinese food near my house, I couldn't eat any of it..... |
#414
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I start my new daily routine I made for myself tomorrow, hopefully having a schedule and not having endless time to think will help me out.
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“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
![]() Anonymous200280, Anonymous45023, roads
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![]() Phoenix_1
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#415
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Not feeling too hot tonight. Besides from going to work, I did absolutely nothing today. Spent a lot of the day in bed. Not wanting to go to work tomorrow.
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![]() Anonymous37807, Blue_Bird
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#416
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Been in bed sleeping since 5 p.m. after getting up at 11 p.m. In between I had coffee twice with two separate people. I blogged and now am just watching tv. I did go out to eat, too; my friend paid. I wonder if I'll be able to sleep tonight now.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
![]() Zabine
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#417
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Back again! Another big project today. Main one was clearing out a space and setting up the stereo (finally!). Now... even with all the wires labelled (ooooh so necessary...), it's not a job to tackle agitated, lol. So, there's your indicator that I wasn't.
![]() Didn't go to bed till after 4 am last night. Totally not sleepy before that, and still it took a chem knockout. This has been a pattern lately. Trying to reel it back, but it's so hard when getting stuff done! (Especially when it's the last bits from moving.) Eating's kind of taken a back seat. Nibbles though. Will be keeping an eye on it. So far mostly ok. Won't risk the fallout from escalation. Always end up doing/saying something incredibly stupid creating a whole new set of problems... |
![]() roads
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#418
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Rough weekend. I'm in a low period. The work week begins, exciting meetings, lots of ideas... I'll probably pull out and be sailing soon. Seeing my psychiatrist today. Trying to feel better.
Soon... MT
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Whether you are a big deal or a small deal, there is always some kind of a deal going on. - Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche |
![]() Anonymous45023, AnxietyGirl916, Blue_Bird
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#419
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Not so great today... woke up pretty low, had a nap not long afer I got up, felt like I couldnt leave the house, forced myself to do it anyway and practiced distress tolerance while at work. Lasted an hour before I was in tears. Came home and felt like I had forgotten all of my coping skills, I did think of doing some relaxation but it was like I was too lazy to do it, I felt I had used all my energy to get out the door. I see how lame that sounds now. Ate a whole pizza and drank half a bottle of juice and retired to the computer to chat to my online friends. With distraction I feel alright. Got a day full of pdoc appointments tomorrow, feels tiring just thinking about it.
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![]() Anonymous37807, Anonymous45023, AnxietyGirl916, Blue_Bird
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#420
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Woke up at 5 am...2 hours before I actually need to be up because hubby's alarm went off and I couldn't go back to sleep. It's Monday, so work will be crazy busy I'm sure. I'll have to fight off panic attacks due to high stress level and lack of sleep. Plus, I just don't want to be there. Only 19 more days until my last day, YAY!
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[COLOR="DeepSkyBlue"][FONT="Century Gothic"]Dx: Bipolar II w/mixed episodes, PTSD, Anxiety Disorder, Insomnia Rx: Lamictal 100mg, Zoloft 75mg, Klonopin 0.5mg x1 /0.25 PRN “Insanity is knowing that what you're doing is completely idiotic, but still, somehow, you just can't stop it.” ― Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation |
![]() Blue_Bird
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#421
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Quote:
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![]() Zabine
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#422
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I feel so much better already! I just got out of the hospital on Friday (Mon-Fri stay) and I'm on new meds! The RN there strongly suggested that I attend a local support group, go back to school (vocational rehab), attend therapy regularly and of course take my meds as prescribed.
![]() But then I get a call from my ex saying that our youngest child has been crying and worrying about me! It breaks my heart!!!! Children should not have to worry about their parents! ![]()
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Renji Dx: Bipolar I and PTSD Rx: Bupropion 200mg 2x Gabapentin 300mg 3x Levothyroxin 75mcg 1x Quetiapine 50mg 1x Reminder: You are not a tree |
![]() Anonymous200280, Moose72, roads, Zabine
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#423
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I am so nervous today. My car is in the shop and idk how much it's going to cost to fix it. It's driving me crazy. They're supposed to work on it this afternoon, so we should find something out then.
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![]() Anonymous200280, roads
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#424
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not the best start to the week,
had a power cut for most of this morning- so not been too productive at all just feeling low and depressed |
![]() Anonymous37807
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#425
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My daughter has to have a meeting with the principal. I can't make this appointment until tomorrow as they are not in the office today (no school). She has missed too much school already. Ugh. Then my son sees his therapist tomorrow. Then the orthodontist for my daughter on Wednesday. Its one thing after another. Not as bad as August was, but still.... And then there are the things that are looming over my head. Then again, my car is a lot better than it was, so that's something. My guilty feelings are a little less today than they were last night. I slept way in, though. I don't think I got up until 1 p.m. Does that mean I'm sleeping too much? I went to bed at 5 p.m. last night and was up and down watching tv. So many episodes of Golden Girls recorded so I watched them.
I'm sorry for everybody else here who is feeling down and depressed. Seems to be quite a few of us.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
![]() Anonymous200280
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