[BipolaRNurse]

Take a look at what I found on FB tonight.....it's written by my sister, who supposedly loves me, to a mutual friend ON THE FREAKING INTERNET.

Hi Sweetie! I'm still alive but I'm sure BPN told you that. I'm in a really bad way in my heart. It's not my usual behavior to talk or be with people until the worst is over. But I have no idea when or even if this depression will end. I am sorry I haven't gotten in touch and above is why. I feel that my sister, my last living relative from my core family has cut me out of her life and I don't know what I did that was so bad. She's doing pretty well now, and I'm in the dumpster. Oh, I'm sorry to lay this on you. I hope you are rich in health and love.
Hi you! I'd love to see you, but right now I'm in Sheridan many miles away from you in an assisted living facility. I was put here because my loving sister couldn't handle more than one person being in a bad way. Bill has cancer and I have fallen a couple of times. The choice was simple, but the inability to cope just hurts me to the core. She also wouldn't let me get any of my things because I would have to go up 3 stairs. I'm hoping that with ben's help I can move to Salem in less than a month. Its another facility but that's okay. I can't tell you how much I miss Zoey, who is of course not even a little bit my dog. That's been made abundantly clear.
_____________________________________________________________
All of which, of course, is ********. She did more than 'fall a couple of times', she busted her butt and her hip because she was so stoned on pain meds all the time that she couldn't stay on her feet. And using my MI against me by portraying me in public as unstable and "unable to handle" having BOTH husband and sister in a bad way while I struggled with my own issues........well, I never expected my own sister to do that.
We've been very close for most of our lives, even though she has always steadfastly refused to listen to anything about herself that isn't 110% unicorns and rainbows. But now I see the meanness that her grown kids have been telling me about for decades. I have ALWAYS stood up for her, advocated for her, run interference for her. I guess none of that matters now, because I refused to let her come back here to live so she can wreck my sanity AND my home again.
I can't believe how bad this hurts. But I'm not going to give her the satisfaction of imploding so she can broadcast THAT all over Facebook too. I'm going to stay up until I think I can sleep, take my meds, and go to bed. I think.

[medicalfox]

My sister pulled the same crap too. One of my fears is her getting too emotional about something and mentioning my disabilities on facebook. Being in the medical field this can ruin our careers and that's the last thing we need. I wish they would know better and realize how important disclosure is. I'm sorry this has happened to you and I hope she realizes her actions were wrong *hug*

[BipolaRNurse]

Thanks, Fox. Sorry your sister pulled the same kind of crap on you. I don't know why I expected better from a SIXTY-SEVEN-YEAR-OLD whom I've known for 55 of those years and just celebrated her birthday with her.....fancy that!

I just added a couple mg of Ativan to the nighttime mix. I don't normally take it at all, but I gotta sleep, and knowing me, I'd otherwise be up all damn night stewing and fuming and plotting and planning. THIS. WILL. NOT. trigger a mood episode. I'm doing too well to allow that to happen now.

[medicalfox]

I need an extra dose of a prn too. There is a flea epidemic at home and I'm losing it at work. I have less than 3 hours until my shift is over so I need to hold on. I wrote a good response, but my service crapped out and lost the message. I'm too frantic to rewrite it, sorry.

[Anika.]

Ugh I am truly sorry, you have enough going on without that.

That is typical behaviour that my mother pulls. I know it stings badly, and I think you are correct not to implode on her. It will probably do more harm than good even if it would feel good momentarily. It really hurts to get burnt so bad by someone you love who you have tried to help. Maybe she will realize and maybe she won't but hold your head high BRN. You are a good strong women, don't let her make you doubt that for a second.

Other people often do see it for what it is as well. I am sure they probably think to themselves "wow that was pretty cruel". Whomever she was posting this to might very well be silently shaking their heads right along with you. The truth shall always set you free one way or another. hang in there.

[Victoria'smom]

I'm sorry your sister did this. Siblings are the best at finding things to do that hurt you the most. People generally don't know how much we help them and then when we can't they get mad. I think that's what is going on here. You've always protected her but now you can't so she's hurt and publicly lashing out at you. I would unsubscribe to that thread you don't need the hate.

So sorry she has portrayed you in a bad light Good plan of action, I hope the ativan can help a little.

[A Red Panda]

Ugh. What a horrible thing for her to do.

If it'll make you feel better, here's something my mom posted on facebook about me: "hmmm, how should I play the card I just got dealt !!?? hurt feelings vs totally pissed off!!!" -- she broadcast to the world that she was going to manipulate me. I had, for the only time ever, asked to borrow a bit of money. To go back to 'home' to VISIT family for the summer instead of going on holiday - and just needed the money for a few weeks so I could get a good deal on a flight. But they lived like 8 hours away from the rest of my family, so I said I wasn't heading out to their house and instead suggested they come to visit everyone too.

My mom opted to refuse to talk to me for about two months, and told EVERYONE ELSE that I had demanded to be GIVEN the money and that I was also demanding they pick me up at the airport and drive me there - and then she said I was refusing to see them.

It resulted in the fact that I actually did refuse to see them. And then they did invade my sister in law's house to impose themself on me.

So... I get the manipulation. Just ignore it. Take her off your fb if you have to (or figure out the setting that'll stop showing the thing she posts... and put her on a limited permission thing so she can only see SOME things that you post).

[AnxietyGirl916]

I'm so sorry...what a terrible thing to do!

Sorry to hear she is doing this. I would suggest not engaging in a battle of words with her. That will just make matters worse and not fix a things. She is going to be who she is going to be. I would guess most family members see right through her; generally this kind of behavior doesn't come out of the blue and family is well aware of the reality versus the stories that get told. She's bitter about losing her life and having to go into assisted living; that isn't an unusual response. She's spewing her anger and her venom and unfortunately it's landing on you. I suspect she'll mellow in time and this will pass, but if you feed it by responding in the same way, it will just exacerbate the problem. Tough position to be in. Block her on Facebook so you don't have to see her posts and she can't see yours. No reason to engage her behavior.

this is part of the reason i don't use facebook/ social networking sites

these things end up happening

[anneo59]

Oh dear, although there is good associated with FB, there is much that can be hurtful. Sorry for your pain. Hope you can feel better soon. Sometimes I just have to unplug, myself, from FB, and other media. The best!

[Phoenix_1]

I'm so sorry. That's just an awful thing for her to do to you.

[ultramar]

I'm so so sorry... Lovely, isn't it, to reduce/simplify someone's huge and complex struggles down to an 'inability to cope.' It's so offensive. And unfair to you. I know this sounds silly, but please pamper yourself. It's easy, with MI, to become a family scapegoat, I have been there in one way or another more than once. Of course others, with un-diagnosed issues, however much they negatively impact family relationships and triangulate within the family unit (I'm thinking of my step-mother -ugh!) don't get blamed in the same way.

In the case of my stepmother, the two things that have helped me are: 1) Trying to keep in mind the times she has supported me and 2) The pain of her own behind her behavior (this doesn't come from a healthy place, amongst other things, big fat insecurities)...

Maybe once the worst of the feelings have passed, you can call or e-mail her regarding how this has affected you, how she's grossly simplified and minimized your situation, and not taking into account the many strengths you have... Also, public forum (FB), not cool.

[BipolaRNurse]

Thanks to all of you who have posted with your sage advice and caring words.

Things are a little better today, although I'm sort of ashamed to confess that I've slept 15 hours thanks to taking Ativan on top of my nighttime med cocktail last night. Actually, I took 5 mg. of Ativan. I just wanted to feel NUMB for a little while. I didn't OD, it wasn't an attempt to self-harm, I just wanted not to feel for one night.

Scared the hell out of my husband. For some reason I told him what I'd done, so he was awake most of the time watching me like he used to back in my drinking days, as if he was afraid I'd stop breathing. He also called our oldest daughter to let her know, and she called the younger son to let HIM know.

Now they've threatened to take my meds away from me if I ever do it again. I know I shouldn't have done it, but they worry too much.....I've been sober for almost 22 years and this is the very FIRST time I've self-medicated. It was just 5 Ativan tablets, hardly enough to do anything but make you sleep and then be a little hung over the next day. I won't do it again.

And gee, just when I thought I'd have to cancel next week's pdoc appointment because I didn't have anything to talk about......