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#251
Feb 15, 2014, 08:52 PM
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I'm still having the little store and the pizza place deliver my food because I'm afraid to go out on the icy sidewalks. If I fell down I don't know how I'd get up. Suddenly "Help I've fallen and can't get up" is no longer a joke. I fell in my bedroom and even with furniture to hang onto it took me 10 minutes and a lot of pain to get up. I hope that in 3 more weeks my knee will be healed enough that I can go out using a cane. I hate living alone. I hate being shut in. I hate not having a car or someone to drive me places. I can't afford a taxi. I hate my life right now.
Sent from my Note II using Tapatalk 4
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Dx: BP2 with GAD and OCD Seroquel 100 mg Risperdal 0.5 mg Clonazepam (Klonopin) 1.5 mg Buspar 5 mg Lamictal 200 mg Coversyl Plus for high blood pressure Crestor for high cholesterol Asmanex Ventolin  |
 Anonymous45023, happywoman
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#252
Feb 15, 2014, 09:05 PM
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Doing ok. My therapist doubled my mood stabilizer the day before yesterday and I'm still trying to get used to the change. I feel kind of funny, am incredibly drowsy, and keep getting headaches behind my eyes that cause nausea. Still, I'm glad to get help, and I hope I get used to it soon and it gets to doing what it's meant to do
 Quote:
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Much Love  ,BassChick2781 
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#254
Feb 16, 2014, 01:40 AM
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Although this is after midnight ..... My Saturday was pretty good. I hung out with my daughters and received a letter from my boyfriend.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
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#255
Feb 16, 2014, 07:32 AM
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may finally be able to get all the music back i lost due to that real extreme low i had (plus more)
my friend kara on an email list i'm on, has just had a hard drive crash- and needs music back too so with any luck, she'll get it back from someone she knows who is good with finding stuff, and then maybe i can get her to send it to me here's hoping anyway! |
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#256
Feb 16, 2014, 03:29 PM
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I think maybe I would benefit from seeing a T. Problem is I don't want to spend the money on it for one thing but the big problem is that I would feel embarrassed. I wouldn't want anyone to know including my wife because it's best if I just hide my feelings from everyone and pretend I'm ok. I don't want pity. I don't know what I want. Maybe just to ignore it all and go on with life. I know most people want to be happy but I really don't care ... I'm convinced that I never will be happy and to try is futile. I feel like I am drifting through this purposeless existence and I don't know why I bother. I get up each day work and do what is expected of me with no hope or desire to be happy.
~Sent from Dark Side of the Moon~ |
| Anonymous45023, Curiosity77, swheaton
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#257
Feb 16, 2014, 07:19 PM
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(No pity, Roblovescats. Just hugs. I was terrified for.e.ver to get one. But it's saved my life --more than once-- to do so. Even though I don't know what I want either.)
Doing alright today. |
 Roblovescats
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#259
Feb 16, 2014, 08:47 PM
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I am not doing so well. OCD is insane. I dont know if it is hormone or stress related. Either way its extremely distressing and causing depression. First image in my mind this morning was a very distressing intrusive thought, I havent stopped crying since, that was nearly 3 hours ago. I have work this afternoon so I cant medicate myself. Im having a tension tamer tea and using distraction - but nothing gets done causing more stress. Pdoc tomorrow which I guess means a med change. But I have never found a med to help with OCD, its also never been this distressing.
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| Anonymous45023, swheaton
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#261
Feb 16, 2014, 09:54 PM
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Sooo... Have to say that I'm sure the seroquel is the only reason I'm sleeping. I had to take it a little late tonight because I was driving and didn't want to get too tired. So here it is almost 10pm and I'm getting up at 3:30 so that I can exercise before work (trying to take better care of me). I'm also going to eat a decent breakfast if I can swing it. My nightly routine didn't change much. I also got "told" that I have to keep a journal. Thank you spouse and nurse. They think it'll help me. I'm too busy to sit and write what's happening everyday. Theres too much to do plus I don't want to sit still. I'm really needing to sleep.
-Tig
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PTSD possible bipolar Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin  |
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#262
Feb 16, 2014, 11:31 PM
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I was up all night crying last night. Today I didn't get out of bed, no energy, no motivation to do anything. Just depression and anxiety.
__________________
"Does the body rule the mind, or does the mind rule the body?" "Those who feel the breath of sadness, sit down next to me. Those feel they're touched my madness, sit down next to me. Those who find themselves ridiculous, sit down next to me." |
| Anonymous45023, swheaton
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#263
Feb 16, 2014, 11:49 PM
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SO.
After 3 weeks of being irritated as F**K! I seem to be out of that now. And slept for 3 hours last night. *palm to forehead* I decided to participate in Dragon Cave's Valentine's event... I never do these things. Well, it was to collect flowers. You can "grow" them and then send them to friends. I've spent the majority of over 24 hours doing this. All day yesterday and all but 3 hours of the night, and all day today (I have cleaned and showered and watched the Olympics and chatted as well, so it's not literally ALL I've done!). Well! I have achieved MASTERY of this and have now collected all of them but two which haven't been released yet. And as they got sent in pots that people could choose when they sent it to you (along with a little message)... I copy/pasted all of my flowers in pots and arranged my collection.  TA DA!!!! Cutting and pasting and organizing those took me forever. That is culmination of 24+ hours that I will never get back.   ETA: Also, I have been having to actively RESIST how annoyed I am at the little bits of white and the crookedness of my lines. Yes. I really, really, want to be THAT **** about it... but I am not letting myself. I have to draw a line SOMEWHERE!
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"The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..." "I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am. |
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#264
Feb 17, 2014, 01:39 PM
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Went to primary care dr today. Got put on blood pressure meds increased my seroquel and buspar. Such a fun day. I see her again in a month which is a month before I see the psychiatrist. Mood wise I'm up. Want to go run a marathon. But can't it's too cold.
-Tig
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PTSD possible bipolar Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin |
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#266
Feb 17, 2014, 02:54 PM
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i'm extremely happy.
thanks to someone, i now have my radio atlantis back!- and i never thought i would. this so cool.. i could litirally hug everyone right now |
| Phoenix_1
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#267
Feb 17, 2014, 04:39 PM
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Had my first day at my new job today! Lifted my depression a little and took my mind off the terrible confusion and unworthiness that I feel. Bring on tomorrow!
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
~ HEY! I run a site on mental health called The Manic Years. I'm looking for some brave souls to share their own personal encounters with mental health. Are you up for sharing your story? Please get in touch on themanicyears@gmail.com. Thank you ~Follow my blog here; http://themanicyears.com Lola Olivia ~ 7/11/11 ~ my reason for breathing Bipolar Affective Disorder type 2 - (2013) 'Borderline traits' Dissociative episodes |
| Anonymous45023, swheaton
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| Phoenix_1, Roblovescats
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#268
Feb 17, 2014, 05:08 PM
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This will sound weird... I have this whole week off and I'm a bit anxious about it. I decided to go to work for a couple days ... I get depressed at home. Or I get to thinking things I shouldn't if I'm manic... Which it seems I'm starting again after just a week of depression. I swear I never have any in between normal moods.
~Sent from Dark Side of the Moon~ |
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#269
Feb 17, 2014, 07:32 PM
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Pdoc today, getting more anxious as it gets closer. Glad I didnt have that coffee this morning! I just hope he can do something for the OCD. I feel weak that I cannot cope with it anymore. I want to be functioning and I am not functioning at the moment. Im scared he will tell me just to ignore it, but I have been trying that and it is not working. I cannot handle it anymore.
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#270
Feb 17, 2014, 09:29 PM
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I had a better day today. I was working, which is usually a good distraction when I'm feeling depressed. I can make myself do what's required of me at work, but I'm not functioning that well in the rest of my life. I have an exam to write this week, so I need to study tonight. I'm just glad to be feeling a bit better.
And I'm also embarrassed about the thread I started about my therapist not believing in bipolar. It got a lot of responses, and it looked like the solution is obvious when I read the responses, but it's not that simple in real life. Anyway, I like this forum and I feel guilty for taking up too much space here. So I want to focus on supporting other people more. Hopefully that will help.
__________________
"Does the body rule the mind, or does the mind rule the body?" "Those who feel the breath of sadness, sit down next to me. Those feel they're touched my madness, sit down next to me. Those who find themselves ridiculous, sit down next to me." |
| Anonymous200280
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#271
Feb 17, 2014, 10:36 PM
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Quote:
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
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#272
Feb 17, 2014, 10:40 PM
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My president's day was pretty good. I slept in a bit long than usual on a normal Monday. Cooked a decent breakfast for self and made more for my daughter. Ran some errands.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
| Phoenix_1
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#273
Feb 17, 2014, 10:47 PM
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Wow, everyone seems to be checking in as up, or wired, or happy. That's so great for all of you. I can't say I'm happy. I was happy on this brand new med, then I had a bad reaction so I can't take it anymore. I'm allergic to so many things. This is the 2nd antidepressant in a year that I'm allergic to, which I hear is rare. So, started on another new one, and it's making me feel really angry and wired but in a really bad way. I cut back the dose, but it's still just not great. I know it's only been a week or so, but I'm just so tired of this. Meds always stop working and the transition to a new one is awful. Not sure what to do. I'm sure my fp wishes he was sick the day I called for my first appt.. Sometimes this all seems silly, like what exactly are we fighting for? Wish I knew.
__________________
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| Anonymous45023
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#274
Feb 18, 2014, 07:24 AM
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boring depressing day. annoyed at everything (that's including radio atlantis)
usual 0 hours of rest last night- i call it rest, because unlike sleep i can't even rest |
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#275
Feb 18, 2014, 11:36 AM
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Ok wow this is weird I feel normal! I'm not manic or depressed. Stay mood stay! Good boy.
~Sent from Dark Side of the Moon~ |
| Phoenix_1
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| Closed Thread |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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