[tigersassy]

Fantastic. Sleep has been off last night got to bed about midnight fell asleep by 1 been up for the most part since 7. Did doze a bit after meds kicked in. but I've been going full out. Got paint and canvases so I'm super excited. Got pretty fake flowers to brighten my living room and spent money. So much fun. Don't really want to go to my all store meeting tonight. Its throwing off my sleep schedule by going to the meeting but thats ok. Go me!

Tig

[Roblovescats]

I hate mixed mania. It makes me really hate myself... And the world. I feel like I just don't give a @@@@ about anything.

Sent from the dark side of the moon

[lizzytish]

I am lousy. My dr put me on depakote, but I think i was already in a depressive swing. I had some effexor left and started taking that as well. I hate to play mad scientist but I needed to do something. I called in sick for tomorrow so that hopefully I can get in to see my dr.

[charo224488]

Originally Posted by Kittie Kat

I've been stuck in a deep depression the last few days. Sleeping from 6:00 am--6:00 pm. Can't make myself do anything, like shower, brush my teeth, do laundry, go to the grocery store. I've also been ignoring/avoiding all calls and texts. My brother got worried about me, so I finally texted him back saying I was okay. I'm not going to hurt myself, but I just feel so worthless. I've had a series of external disappointments, the most recent one sending me into this depression a few days ago. I'm going to stay up for the next day, so I can get my sleep schedule back, at least. I'm hoping to be able to force myself to do productive things tonight/tomorrow morning.

I sleep so much better during the day, too. My doc said bipolar people have their internal clocks screwed up, so it's not your fault and you should not feel worthless. It's good that you have a brother that worries about you. Feel better.

My therapist is pretty sure I have been misdiagnosed.


Instead of borderline she thinks I am bi-polar.

I have mixed emotions about it.

[tigersassy]

Kindda ****** about how my store meeting went. I do so much **** for that place and no one recognizes it. I get passed by for recognition and no idea why. I don't want to sleep even though I have to be up for work by 4 am which is in 5 hours. Wish I could call in and not get in trouble. My stomach is messing with me on top of the shittiness. I need to sleep

Tig

[Notnrml85]

Originally Posted by Imalooney

My therapist is pretty sure I have been misdiagnosed.


Instead of borderline she thinks I am bi-polar.

I have mixed emotions about it.

Borderline personality and bipolar often co-exist. I am definitely bipolar. I have had bipolar symptoms since about age 9. But, I have also had a few different t's who have said that I might also have borderline personality. I fit the description for both bipolar and borderline personality. Now I guess I just need to ask about a diagnosis for the bpd.

Hope you get it all sorted out. For me, knowing exactly what you're dealing with makes you feel less powerless.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Curiosity77]

My day was Ok, but a little hard. I spent it with my sister and her husband and my nieces in the morning, then over to my oldest friend's place for dinner with her family. It was really nice to see people, and I am happy to be well enough to do it. But it also makes me feel inadequate. I'm genuinely glad that the people in my life are happy, but it is hard not to compare myself. I'm divorced, never had kids, and living with bipolar. I see what could have been my life when I look at my sister and my friend, and their perfect families. I feel so alone. Now at home listening to Arcade Fire and feeling sad.

[Hopeful Camel]

Well, this has been an interesting day. I didn't feel so unemployed today because it is Sunday, so I cleaned house, gardened, chopped down about 1/2 acre of weeds with a scythe, detailed my girlfriend's car, went to Home Depot, went grocery shopping, barbecued, planned a camping trip, did a spreadsheet comparing graduate programs in geography. Yeah. And that was when I was in a nice place.

Then about 5 pm I started to get irritable. Then it was better, worse, better. Just bouts of irritability. At 9pm I started throwing things and got into one of those bizarre fights [verbal] with gf, where I am able to pin her in a corner [you really, really do not want to argue with a bipolar trial attorney] verbally.

Finally, at about 10pm I just collapsed into a puddle of tear. I just took 10mg of Saphris, which usually knocks me out instantly, but here I am ....zoom, zoom. The thought crosses my mind that I should go to the hospital.

I've never felt this way. Maybe. I'm confused.

Thanks for being here and reading this far.
s

[Roblovescats]

Originally Posted by Curiosity77

My day was Ok, but a little hard. I spent it with my sister and her husband and my nieces in the morning, then over to my oldest friend's place for dinner with her family. It was really nice to see people, and I am happy to be well enough to do it. But it also makes me feel inadequate. I'm genuinely glad that the people in my life are happy, but it is hard not to compare myself. I'm divorced, never had kids, and living with bipolar. I see what could have been my life when I look at my sister and my friend, and their perfect families. I feel so alone. Now at home listening to Arcade Fire and feeling sad.

Everyone thinks other peoples families are so perfect ... Mine has a very happy all rainbows and unicorns appearance from the outside. Don't go into sugar shock watching how sweet we are... Not reality. We all put on a facade in life. Bipolar people specially. I'm unconvinced that happiness really exists anywhere. Don't compare yourself. It's all lies. Kinda like Facebook...

Sent from the dark side of the moon

[Adonia]

Hey, I am Bipolar and ADD.
I am under allot of stress I work full time and Study part time.
Friday night while watching TV with my family i had a seizure out of the blue it only lasted a min or so but when i came out of it I was totally confused and even asked my mom where I was and who she was. Have any of you ever had such an experience?

[x_BabyG_x]

I've heard misdiagnoses are common in BP patients! My anxiety is so bad today I just can't shake it off... I'm happy with my life, I'm friends with who I am etc so why am I still feeling like this? I'm carrying on like I'm pretending it's not there but it's there alright. Chewing on my arm nom nom nom.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Axiom]

Mixed and it fuking sucks
Is it mixed all the time when I switch between agitated depression baseline hypomania and a mix of both?

BPD is very often misdiagnosed as Bi Polar so its sure to happen vice versa too. Problem is most people dont accept a straight out BPD diagnosis but many after DBT and therapy are able to control the onset of their manias and depression, thats how you know who really has bipolar and who doesnt

Also misdiagnosis of states happens a lot too. Many people mistake anxiety for mania, and baseline as depression, happiness for mania, grief for depression, anxiety for mixed, frustration for mixed, the list goes on. We can have emotions without it being related to our bipolar.

Right now I am agitated as all hell. My guess is the combination of coming off this stupid med I wish I had never been put on and work stress. I feel so depressed and my body feels extremely fatigued and like lead. Im thinking I may be staying in this clinic a while. I'll go to work from here but I definitely need the extra support right now.

I just skulled down a chamomile tea and have another ready and waiting - double strength. I wish I had my tension tamer tea but I didnt bring it in from home so this will have to do. I dont want to turn to meds, Im determined to learn how to cope, although I have not felt like this for many many years.

[Axiom]

nevermind deleted post

[IrishGreenEyes]

No motivation, not going to go to work. Watching cartoons with my son, trying to make everything quite in my head. Slept ok but rotten dreams.

[TheHuffnpuff]

Had a good day today but felt a bit sleepy, I didn't take my meds last night but still slept OK.

[Suddz]

Feeling pretty good this morning. I'm on a mission today. My daughter has intensive therapy (she has athetoid CP) which is 3 hours of intense stretching and exercise. Then we have a meeting at school to update her IEP, which should be exciting. We have been fighting them to get a Joystick that functions as a mouse. We purchased one that fits her needs perfectly but they refuse to buy one just like it for use at school. Instead they buy inferior junk that she can't use. Wasting money left and right. So it should be interesting to say the least. I'm not one to tolerate ignorance from bureaucrats who try to pigeon hole my daughter... or me for that matter. Anyway... lol excuse my manic moment there. I'm feeling pretty good! LOL!

[Axiom]

How do you deal with your emotions when you feel like almost everybody is against you or secretly hating you and think you're lying?

Axiom, I feel at times that people dont believe me because my illness is mental and not something they can see. Its something we all suffer with from time to time. But mental illness is very real and your feelings are not lies. Having a doctor back you up and remind you of this is very helpful to me.

Today I feel pretty good. Woke up at 5.30am and woke up pretty easy too. So glad Im off the clomipramine!! I feel tons tons better physically than I did on it and I have thoughts in my brain again! Im actually looking forward to group. I hope its a small group again that was heaps better. My mum is coming to visit me today with the dog and hopefully my partner will be in tonight so I am feeling positive.

to those who are struggling

[swheaton]

Feeling pretty good. I'm getting a med changed, little nervous.

[Phoenix_1]

I'm feeling better. Yesterday I finally made it to Safeway and bought groceries for the month. My fridge and cupboards are full again. Yay! A friend drove me. This morning I went to physiotherapy. (The last 2 weeks I phoned in sick and didn't go.) I need to go downtown to renew my bus pass and go to the drug store for a prescription. I decided to do that tomorrow. If I make myself go out 3 days in a row maybe I'll break this rut I've been in of staying home every day. And I may have a part time job doing accounting for a hair salon. I meet with the owner next Monday. Things are definitely looking up.

Sent from The Land of Oz

Sounds like a really productive day, Well done Phoenix_1!

And swheaton, I hear ya on the nervousness of meds changing. I am even scared to go back on zoloft and I have been on that heaps before but the terrible reaction I had to clomipramine really scared me.

[Roblovescats]

Feeling lonely and depressed ...

Sent from the dark side of the moon

[Kittie Kat]

Doing much better today. Had a productive day on Sunday (I left the house!), but didn't do anything. At least I didn't sleep the day away, and I did make a collage. (Why make a collage? Why not laundry?) Tomorrow is a day for action. Going to do at least one load of laundry, and go to the gym! I have to work tomorrow night, the first time in almost a week. It's like I've forgotten what it's like to go be professional.