i suppose i'm surviving.

up all night every night, with no clear plan about what i want from the future... and still very minimal support.

but then what can you do

[AnxietyGirl916]

Anxiety is a little high today. I was referred for a full time job and sent over my resume a week ago today and I still haven't heard anything. I keep telling myself that they'll call (they posted the job internally last week), but I have this nagging voice in the back of my head saying they'll never call. Other than that, I'm babysitting again today. Hopefully will be a nice distraction from my incessant worrying.

[x_BabyG_x]

Anxiety is so bad today! Have to fill in some forms for work and it's sending me in to panic. Feel dreadful... It's only a few pieces of bloody paper!!

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Am very anxious to hear whether I got the job I interviewed for last week or not. They said they'd let me know for sure early this week. Of course I want "early" to be today! I will be really bummed out if I don't get it, but it's out of my hands now. I really wish I had a session with my T today. I'm filled with anxiety thinking about both possibilities: if I don't get the job (bummed) or if I do (glad, I guess, but nervous about my ability to do it)

[Roblovescats]

Hi all.

Manic lately. I'm both tired and wired. Feel like my heart is about to jump out of my chest but also feel like I need a few more hours of sleep.


~Just because I love cats doesn't mean I don't have room in my heart for you too!~

[Noodles_320]

A clerk at the store asked my how I was doing. I replied, "I woke up breathing"......today is a beautiful day!

[Roblovescats]

I wish I could be more like some of you who actually like being manic. I hate it. Mind races, agitated easily, can't relax, worry about getting in trouble. BP I ... so yes it is a severe problem. Has cost me more than one job before I knew I had it. At least know I know when I feel this way that I need to make efforts to shut my mouth. That and avoid others.

~Just because I love cats doesn't mean I don't have room in my heart for you too!~

[Moreta]

I had a sleep study last night to titrate a CPAP. NOT FUN. They gave me the mask that went on my nose and half way through the night I woke up gasping for breath b/c my nose got all stuffy and I couldn't breathe through it anymore. They then gave me the mask that went over my nose and mouth and I was fine. I woke up though with a really dry mouth. I felt so out of it when they woke me up b/c I took seroquel so I would sleep. I got back to my house at 6:30 am and proceeded to crash on the bed till 8. Good thing my husband woke me up before he left b/c I would've slept right through work. I am totally not looking forward to using a CPAP, but I hope it will let me have a good night's sleep so I won't be so tired anymore. The really weird thing is that I didn't wake up in a panic from a dream. I found that odd, b/c it happens every morning.

[robosuplex]

I kind of want to cry? My medicine makes me feel very drowsy sometimes and completely crazy other times. I'm so so tired of holding my emotions in but I'm scared of letting them out. I should only have one more week of feeling weird and then it should stabilize.

I also injured my hand in an episode a week ago... now I can't do my job @_@ I'm struggling with guilt because it was my completely fault that it happened but... I'm trying to let it go, y'know? We can't change the past we can only move forward.

(Awww, BabyG, sooo hear you on paperwork! )

Too many things. From too many directions. These things are very hard for me to deal with one at a time, let alone piled up. It's like being under siege. Trying not to think too much on it. Want to crawl in a cave and tell the world of bills and demands and nasty people to f off and leave me alone. I'm doing the best I can and am well aware it's not enough. They have no idea what I'm up against.
I just want to stay overall stable, but it is really raining stress and overwhelm. Rather apprehensive about that combo.

[Beepee]

Cloudy, cold day. Bad mood, mixed state I think.

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[Roblovescats]

Got a good night sleep on couch. No seriously I slept much better. Wife was concerned. Good.
Brain is racing. Anyone ever had vision issues with mania? Eyes are being all weird lately.

~Sent from Dark Side of the Moon~

[IDoNotExist]

Originally Posted by Roblovescats

Got a good night sleep on couch. No seriously I slept much better. Wife was concerned. Good.
Brain is racing. Anyone ever had vision issues with mania? Eyes are being all weird lately.

~Sent from Dark Side of the Moon~

I have problems reading with mania; I don't realize any particular vision issues, aside from a slight hypersensitivity to stimuli that would normally be ignored.

I've had people ask me to read something, only to lose track of the concept/thought mid-sentence.

[Roblovescats]

Originally Posted by IDoNotExist

I have problems reading with mania; I don't realize any particular vision issues, aside from a slight hypersensitivity to stimuli that would normally be ignored.

I've had people ask me to read something, only to lose track of the concept/thought mid-sentence.

~Sent from Dark Side of the Moon~

[Roblovescats]

Oops! Was going to say that I have trouble reading most of the time because I can't sit still and concentrate. I will read something it triggers a thought and I'm off to daydreaming.

~Sent from Dark Side of the Moon~

[tigersassy]

Work is going swimmingly. Even with being told that it isn't all about me. My answer was umm yeah it is. This isn't necessarily a good way to be at work, but don't care. Still having some depressed thoughts, but what the hell. I'm not acting on them as long as I can control them whats it matter. It's a day to drive me loopy.

-Tig

[AnxietyGirl916]

Where did the happy go? I can feel myself slipping back into depression. Guess it's time to increase the Zoloft. Intrusive thoughts of self-harm are becoming more frequent and I had a PTSD fueled dream last night.

[IDoNotExist]

Originally Posted by Roblovescats

Oops! Was going to say that I have trouble reading most of the time because I can't sit still and concentrate. I will read something it triggers a thought and I'm off to daydreaming.

~Sent from Dark Side of the Moon~

Same here. It'll pass. It's annoying to me because I'm an avid reader.

It's best to do things as mindless as possible during these times lest you become more irritable at your temporarily inability or impediments.

BTW, I love Pink Floyd! My bose triport's just got a fray in them, so I can't listen to the beauty of their experimentalism now

[Roblovescats]

If you get a chance to see the rockumentary on the making of Dark Side... It's very cool.

~Sent from Dark Side of the Moon~

[SickOfSadness]

A bit frustrated (counselor cancelled appts for next 2wks). & confused about how to feel about my recent breakup

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[swheaton]

Feeling paranoid. Sometimes my paranoia turns into reality and I hope that today was just the freakiness creeping in.

[SickOfSadness]

Maaaaaaaahh. Yep, that is how I feel right now.

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[robosuplex]

I felt out of it all today. Like nothing mattered. Even costuming, the one thing that would always cheer me up, felt empty. Miraculously doing a little better now but man that sucks!!!

[x_BabyG_x]

I'm sat here in my dressing gown because it's so cold. Anxiety is bad again, washing is piled high, housework needs doing, and I can't move to do it. More debt letters this morning, I'm not even sure how much I owe now. I was fine this morning when I left the house, now I just feel alone. Everything is overwhelming. Another funeral tomorrow, im too exhausted to even attempt to switch my emotions off again.

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[SickOfSadness]

Feeling really really good & hopeful today so far!!! :-)

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