[jlove973]

I have been having hard times lately and my Bipolar is in full swing right now. I feel really bad because my love one's are getting the short end of the stick(so to speak). I lost my mom, the holidays and my daughter(pre-teen with ADHD).
My boyfriend is alot of support, but I am afraid he will be scared off / won't stick around. He keeps telling me you are wonderful I love you and don't stress. He says "No worries, eh?" it's his way to make me laugh.
I just have so much anxiety right now and I am really depressed. I cry over the little things and I know it's silly it's just me. I'm even crying while I am typing this topic. I just don't want anyone to get annoyed with me and get fed up. I also let little things bother me and I make them big things. He says I need to learn how to relax and breathe. He doesn't stress about anything so I think he really doesn't understand. I hate it. I hate feeling this way. Will it ever get better? I don't want to lose the best thing that has ever happened to me besides my daughter. Can anyone help?

[biplol]

(((((Jlove))))) I know how you feel. it's really hard to explain to the ones around us what is going on in our minds.
My husband doens't cook at all and we have got to the point when there are some days I can't bring myself to do anything, so he really needs to step up to the play.
I can't explain everything to him, it sounds to crazy, but I know my triggers.
So I'd sugest you sit down wiht him (he seems really sweet) and let him know exactly what you need from him and when you are going to need it.
That has help a lot in my marriage.
Hang in there hon, in the menatime I can make some rrom for you in my rollercoaster!

[RainbowFaerie]

Hang in there, people here care about you and I honestly believe it will get better. I hear you about anxiety, that and being just plain supergrouchy and snappy is what I am dealing with, alternating with depression. But I think if we keep at it things can turn around. At least I am banking on it.

Sending you some of the Indiana sunshine.

RainbowFaerie

[DaveyJones]

Hi, Jlove...

It's horrible when the disease has control like you describe. It makes everything we do or don't do seem so strange, like there is no way out...it's just awful.

You don't mention in your post what you do to try and maintain a "normal" life. Do you see a doctor? Are you on a program of medication to try and ease your symptoms? Do you see a therapist? Do you exercise and eat nutritiously? Do you maintain a regular sleep schedule? Do you have any sort of support group outside your boyfriend? All of these things can help you feel better.

I know it's hard to take all these steps at once....I would suggest that you find your local NAMI or DBSA chapters ( www.nami.org and www.DBSAlliance.org ). They can help you find the resources in your community.

If you do have a pdoc (psychiatrist), please call. You don't have to feel this way.

Wishing for the best for you,
DJ

[jlove973]

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DaveyJones said:
You don't mention in your post what you do to try and maintain a "normal" life. Do you see a doctor? Are you on a program of medication to try and ease your symptoms? Do you see a therapist? Do you exercise and eat nutritiously? Do you maintain a regular sleep schedule? Do you have any sort of support group outside your boyfriend?

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Well, it's hard to really maintain a normal life when there's always something getting in the way(BIPOLAR) I do not go to support groups. I won't get into why. I have had a Psychiatrist for about 12 years now. Medications I take7 pills a day. Sleep schedule for the most part with some help from Clanazepam. For that I am grateful! I am extremely lonely depressed. I count the hours for when my boyfriend gets off work. Then since I do not interact with any one through out the day I bombard him. He hates it and I can't help it. I have little interaction with the outside world besides going to spend money. I do that very often. Binge shop. Then regret it. I went from being this very successful, fun, outgoing, life of the party and spontaneous woman. To being this very stressed, anxious, worried and depressed women. With nothing to keep her busy. I tried Volunteering and that didn't work. Getting into some craft classes or other activities to take up my time. That didn't work. I am LOST I am not motivated to do anything. I need to lose weight and I have a no care attitude. I shouldn't have because I want to be here for my daughter. So I need to do it for her if not for my self. I just have NOOOOO motivation and I don't know why???? I have had several med changes and adjustments and I am settling for what I have been on for the last year or two. Help..

[wanting]

I have been the longterm boyfreind of a woman who had a pre-teen son with ADHD i coped for seven years,she also had her own anger issues,and i had my well hidden depression,we coped and i believe you can also cope as long as there is love you will manage,and pull through this

[DaveyJones]

Jlove,

I do understand where you are coming from...it is so hard to make any sort of meaningful connections when you feel like you do. Heck, I'm feeling pretty good lately and I have trouble with social situations; it's very frustrating. It's not fair that this disease robs you of the things that used to define you. I was a successful person, and I lived to be with and in front of people. (I was a musician). That's all gone now. I'm on disability and live with my Mom, my family is gone and I don't know how or if I even can fix it.

I have found out that you have to keep working with your pdoc to get the meds working. I've been driving mine nuts the past 3 months and we have finally found something that works pretty well. (I take lithium, Lamictal and Seroquel). I was calling in at LEAST once a week for over a month. I had never done that before, I just put up with however I felt....but no more.

I guess what I'm saying is don't give up, don't lose heart...things can and will get better. We just can't give up, no matter how bad we want to. You seem to know all the things to do, all the avenues to pursue...just keep on trying, things will get better for you sooner or later.

Just remember you have lots of friends here, we're here for you.

DJ