Feeling foolish after manic episode

Does anyone feel stupid, guilty and foolish after going out and doing things that were irrational in a manic state? I guess the answer would be yes for most of you..............

I am a stay at home mum and do a little bit of typing here and there for people - its isolating. I have an autistic son of 10 and a daughter of 13. A so want to get back into the workplace..................was feeling incredibly depressed beginning of last week, doc upped by anti d and then by Thursday was racing around town registering with employment agencies, looking for jobs in the papers, ringing up and sending my CV. I used to be good as a secretary and was a hard worker - but thing is I have registered for full time not part time work! What would I do for childcare for my son after school etc.? if I got childcare I would have to make absolutely sure it was the right person, pay them etc.

We are starting marriage counselling on Monday. I just can't seem to pace myself even being on Depakote and anti d - I am either UP or DOWN for well over a week, but I would say more down. Those two days of job hunting exhausted me..............I was soooo trying to slow myself down but it was incredibly hard..........now I feel stupid and foolish, although I havent shelved my plans.............something has to be workable!

Anyway, sorry for going on...........its good to just type it out..I would like to hear your stories too. Oh and I spend money when I havent got it.

i think that anyone who has experienced mania has done exactly as you've done. it's part of the disease and it doesn't make us bad people. hopefully, your meds will help you.......lamictal is a mood stabilizer. you might ask your doctor about it.....good luck, xoxxo pat

p.s. i have more downs than ups and am still in a down cycle.....so, i'm barely moving these days....

It seems like it has been going on for years since after a manic episode, I tend to spend 1 to 2 days overanalyzing why again and what can I do next time to prevent the trigger; the guilt paralyzes me. I'm definitely embarrassed more in retrospect because when I do my manic gimic at the time I feel I'm doing a normal activity. It feels endless this cycle of mania and embarrassment. I once hopped on a plane to Puerto Rico because I was upset with my boyfriend at the the time and stayed one night and one day; talk about mania. I don't know if it is proper etiquette to discuss what our pdocs feel about our meds, but only 1 pdoc out of 3 would let me try prozac
during the Spring gloom ( I wanted to ascertain if it would ward off my depression during that time) Within 5 days I was speaking double the speed limit. The other 2 pdocs had refused go give me any type of antidepressant but Wellbutrin, but combined with my Lithium I was still depressed.
Regarding spending money when we don't have it I spent $38,000 in 2 months on credit cards 10 years ago when I was going through m divorce. I settled with them and there went my entire divorce settlement. At times I guess I think that we are
Maureen

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babs92 said:
Does anyone feel stupid, guilty and foolish after going out and doing things that were irrational in a manic state? I guess the answer would be yes for most of you..............


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yes it is hard not to punish ourselves...
Not that long ago I bought 2 cars in 3 weeks....and then tried to just give one of them back...
It is difficult to say that this is a chemical problem in our brains...we are hardest on ourselves in this regards..I think.
Our problems (hubby and I) stem from living beyond our means....credit card debt...student loans balances that are outragious...regular debt from cars and house notes and the list of bills goes on and on...no wonder the holidays are tough!
And it is expensive just to live and eat healthy these days.
Appling for jobs is a great idea, working out the details will be just one more challenge for you.
good luck and hang in there.
Child care is expensive and you will have to take that into consideration of course along with taxes etc.
Some folks think it is more expensive to work than not.
(((HUGS)))
bizi

I definitely feel foolish after some of the things I've done when manic. But then, sometimes I feel foolish about things I've done when I'm not, so at least I can point to a reason why - even if it doensn't change what I did. And I always tell myself I won't do anything like that again even if I do get manic - but, of course, when I get manic it all seems perfectly reasonable. I think all we can do is try to keep things on an even keel (and for me that usually means medication) - sigh...

Thanks all for your support and hearing your experiences puts things into perspective for me. I really appreciate your help and advise and am so glad that I have found good and wonderful friends here!

I usually do more irrational things when I'm depressed--like overdosing a couple months ago & thinking my husband really hates, etc.

When I'm manic I usually don't go into a full mania, but hypo mania so it feels really good. But I've learned that the mania is usually followed by a deep depression so I call the doc when I start to feel manic (sleeping only 3-4 hrs. a night, overspending, talking too fast, euphoria, etc.). One thing that I do when manic that is embarrassing is that I contact long-lost friends & anyone else I can think of. I'm usually quite reticent (esp. about talking on the phone) & I wonder what these people think when I call them out of the blue. I've put a note in my wallet : Don't call, write, e-mail or send smoke signals when manic! I started becoming manic a couple weeks ago & doc increased my Abilify & that did the trick. I try to head it off at the pass now. I only needed it to be increased for a week. Now I'm back to my previous dosage. I'm also on Lamictal, Concerta, Provigil, & Trazadone.

Welcome to PC.--Suzy