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#1
Nov 28, 2006, 02:27 PM
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hello everyone,
i am new to the forum. i happen to find the website while doind some research on depression. i was diagnosed with unspecified psychosis when i was 15. i took the quiz for bipolar disorder and scored a 50, according to the test this is indicative of a probable bipolar I diagnosis. i am in a current state of depression. i have not been able to snap out of it. i've been like this for approximately 4 weeks and counting. i have 2 children and a husband, work full time and got to school part time. i am feeling really overwhelmed, have not been so productive at work this month. i have irrational fears. feel like satan is in my room. now how can i confide that to a therapist without them wanting to hospitalize me or even worse assume that i am a danger to my children. how can i get good help if i do not trust the outcome of it. i am not in therapy right now but am seriuosly considering going back because i know i should. the last therapist i had was horrible. she would take calls to discuss her lunch plans and tell me i shouldn't expect to be "superwoman". i told her that when she if she was willing to pay my bills she could tell me to take a break from work. needless to say she's out of my life. anyway i am here for support and to lend some support as well. thanks for listening. |
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#2
Nov 28, 2006, 06:18 PM
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You must feel awful.
To be in a depression that long without meds or anyone else to talk to sounds terrible. You do have a lot on your plate...how supportive is your hubby and are the kids old enough to take on chores and help around the house...same with your hubby? My suggestion would be to find a good pdoc(psychiatrist) in your area....and a new therapist. It sounds as if you would benefit from some medications like a mood stabilizer. Do a search on this forum for hallucinations/psychosis/delusions....to read what might have been posted not that long ago. There is a wealth of information stored on these forums it is just learning how to tap into the past information. Welcome to the forums. bizi
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lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
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#3
Nov 28, 2006, 07:22 PM
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thanks bizi,
my husband is great, but he is working 2 jobs right now because we are trying to buy a house and he is trying to help as much as he can with the boys. my sons are 3 and 8. my 8 yr old is great. he helps me so much. my 3 yr old is a handful and requires a lot of attention. i feel horrible that because of my depression i am usually irritable and they suffer the raft. i am definitely going to seek help i think it is time that i do that. i called the insurance company today. wish me luck. |
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#4
Nov 29, 2006, 12:07 AM
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That is great that you called the insurance company!
It sounds all very hard and I am glad that your hubby helps with the kids...it would be so hard if he didn't. The 8 year old can help with the 3 year old right? I wanted to share with you what I take... Lamictal 200mg at night is my main mood stabilizer. It also has antidepressant qualities as well. I also take a sleeping pill because I can't sleep with out one. When ever I start to get hypomanic I take geodon, in the family of anti-psychotics, it helps to get me under control and back to sanity. It has taken me a while to get the medications under control. It usually takes a while to find the right meds...as we are all different and respond to meds differently. Lamictal is now used alot for mood disorders. Ask your doctor about it. Just a suggestion. Good luck with all of this! ((((HUGS)))) bizi
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lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
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#5
Nov 29, 2006, 07:48 PM
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thanks bizi, i will definitely do some research on those meds. i will keep you posted on my search for a doctor.
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#6
Dec 02, 2006, 04:50 PM
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hello, i just found this site myself also. i feel for you having two small kids & are going through all of this. im glad u have a supportive husband. when my 9 year old girl was little i would take so much out on her plus i was drinking also.
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im so glad there are people who understand here. |
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#7
Dec 02, 2006, 08:07 PM
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yeah i am always irritable. then i feel horrible for lashing out at my kids. i have been drinking lately. i just had my aunt confront me about the bottle of vodka that is almost empty in one week. i know i shouldn't be drinking, but it provides a temporary relief from what's going on. i have an appt on monday with a pdoc. hopefully it'll work out this time.
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#8
Dec 03, 2006, 04:49 AM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
agony007 said: yeah i am always irritable. then i feel horrible for lashing out at my kids. i have been drinking lately. i just had my aunt confront me about the bottle of vodka that is almost empty in one week. i know i shouldn't be drinking, but it provides a temporary relief from what's going on. i have an appt on monday with a pdoc. hopefully it'll work out this time. </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Drinking can be an attempt to self-medicate...you might ask the P-doc about that. Best of luck to you. RF
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“Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.” Thich Nhat Hanh, Nobel Prize Nominee and Vietnamese Buddhist teacher |
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#9
Dec 04, 2006, 07:13 PM
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this is tabby again. i didnt get to finish my post about having a 9 yr old & drinking when she was small. but yeah you really should tell your pdoc about it cuz mine went into full blown alcoholism hell until i got help. i was diagnosed for so many years with major depression disorder until my new pdoc immediately diagnosed me as bp1. looking back over my 20s & also my teens & childhood everything seemed to make so much more sense. it was like a revelation. just please take care of yourself as selfish as it sounds cuz im 32 & just now trying to get leveled out.
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im so glad there are people who understand here. |
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#10
Dec 04, 2006, 10:10 PM
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tabby, i am really happy that you are working on getting better. you should be very proud of yourself. i really appreciate your kind words. i saw the new pdoc today for the first time. he gave me seroquel, ativan and lexapro. he said that i am experiencing major depression, anxiety and psychosis. he said that with the new meds i should see an improvement by x-mas. i surely hope so for the sake of my family.
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#11
Dec 04, 2006, 10:17 PM
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This is great news!
So glad that your pdoc is listening to you. Just a gentle reminder that it will take a while for the lexapro to kick in...hang in there! ((((HUGS))) bizi
__________________
lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
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#12
Dec 05, 2006, 04:11 PM
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hey bizi,
thanks for all your support. the pdoc was a real help. he was real sweet and sincere. today i am a bit groggy from the meds though. i am glad that i am mellow as opposed to irritable. i was really having a hard time waking up today after the seroquel i took last night. the doc said that was normal. we agreed that i should try taking it earlier tonight so i have a better time getting up earlier tomorrow. thanks for listening. (((((hugs)))))) |
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#13
Dec 05, 2006, 05:29 PM
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that all sounds great! and yess your body takes time to adjust to the meds and keep up the great work...you have a new therapist too?
thanks for the update! (((HUGS))) bizi
__________________
lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
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#14
Dec 05, 2006, 07:36 PM
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agony007 i saw my pdoc today & he put me on abilify & took me off neurontin which did nothing for my moods even though i was taking 800mg 3x a day. i asked him for seroquel because this doc i saw once before tried me on it & it helped me to sleep really well but he just wanted to see what the abilify does 4 now so he didnt give me any. im glad you got your meds & i hope they work well 4 u. im a little nervous right now cuz i was on klonopin & i abused them & now he has taken me off of them. which i guess is best cuz im a total addict & i dont need the benzos cuz it keeps me in that mindset of i need them. theyre fine for people who can take them responsibly but i cant. i am new at this bipolar diagnosis & my pdoc told my hubby its a complicated disorder & can take awhile to get the right combo of meds 4 each person. i know one thing--im gonna start working out again cuz im gaining the weight back that i lost plus i go to florida at the end of january. plus it helps the brain chems & i love the endorphin rush u get when u jog!
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im so glad there are people who understand here. |
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#15
Dec 05, 2006, 08:53 PM
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dear tabby,
I hope your pdoc did not cold turkey your benzos????? This is way to hard on you if he/she did. You really need to withdraw from them slowly. I hope that is what has happened...I ahve not kept up with your history so I hope that I have read this wrong. I was on neurontin before and it was not a good mood stabilizer for me...then I tried trileptal which made me hyponatrimic, low sodium at higher doses ...so now I am on lamictal...and I really like this med. I take ambien to sleep at night and geodon as I need it for hypo symptoms. I wish you well with these meds too. I always say that we know ourselves best.... bizi
__________________
lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
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#16
Dec 05, 2006, 09:41 PM
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(((Hugs))) i hope those the new meds work out for you hon.
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#17
Dec 05, 2006, 10:53 PM
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bizi, according to my pdoc he says klonopin has a very long half life & stays in your system for 2 weeks. i think this is bull. thankfully i have enough left out of my last prescription to wean myself down. i asked him for atleast another script of 30 .5s to wean down slowly but he wouldnt do it. i had a seizure back in march detoxing off alcohol & xanax in a 10 day period & i dont wanna go through that again. I know the Lord will get me through. i remember back at the beginning of November when i abused my whole script & ran out. I felt bad for a couple of days--like flu like symptoms but then i felt better. i shouldve just left it at that but my addictive mind told me i needed them so i got enough off the street to last me to this appointment. i thought he would atleast wean me off but not so. yeah i know u dont even have to tell me that this sounds like a really hard core doc. i dont know--maybe if it wouldve been xanax he wouldve weaned me down. im looking forward to getting off these things for good though cuz they make me very lazy. i used to get up first thing & work out & would freak if i even missed a day & i know these benzos are the reason ive gotten so lethargic & lazy. ive also got neurontins left so ill keep taking those while im weaning down. i have a feeling in my heart from the Lord that everything will be ok.
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im so glad there are people who understand here. |
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#18
Dec 06, 2006, 02:45 AM
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valium has a half life that can stay in your systeem for 200 hours and it has the longest half like..I could have my numbers mixed up...sorry,
Be careful weaning your slef off of the stuff. I ahve heard that benadryl can help with the axiety agitation issues while you are weaning. any thing that can help.... hang in there.... ((((HUGS)))) bizi
__________________
lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
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#19
Dec 06, 2006, 10:37 AM
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yeah last week i took a bunch of valium. someone said they had some & being the addict i am 2,3,4 is better than one. also i just went up to the store & bought a box of benadryl lol! right now i just wanna sleep the day away. all i crave i sweets so i also got some cookie dough & fudge rounds. i want so much to get my life back. i just feel numb like i dont care about anything one way or the other. i know i need to be the one to take the step to my lifestyle changes but its so hard. i just wanna stay locked up in the house & sleep. i feel like ive crashed from mania to low depression. i know if all i keep putting in my body is sugar im gonna stay screwed up mentally & physically & im gonna keep craving sugar all the time. i dont mean to ramble, i could go on forever.
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im so glad there are people who understand here. |
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#20
Dec 06, 2006, 01:58 PM
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The depression part/side is when we have to be really careful ..the suicide risks are awful and can be very real for us and please be careful during this time...get as much help/support as you can...
Sometimes you have to ask for support from some people..they may not know you need it or kknow how they can help.... ((((HUGS)))) bizi
__________________
lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
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#21
Dec 06, 2006, 04:03 PM
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(((((hugs))))) tabby, hang in there buddy...
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