[Lobster Hands]

For me it is definitely delusions.

[OutlawedSpirit]

I would have to say the depression when it gets to the point where it's too hard to do anything.

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[Lobster Hands]

Originally Posted by OutlawedSpirit

I would have to say the depression when it gets to the point where it's too hard to do anything.

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oh god...I don't know why depression didn't even occur to me.


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[Side2Side]

Being told im too ill to be employed

[Lobster Hands]

Originally Posted by Side2Side

Being told im too ill to be employed

Yeah...that along with a moron coworker noticing that your bipolar because they think they have it...now all they do is ask me things like "oh, your not sleeping lately are you?"...keep in mind that this person also goes around telling people how he scored a 122 on an IQ test (he's so cocky about it too)...what an idiot...

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[vjdragonfly]

My most embarrassing time when when I was manic. Every time I think about the things I done I cringe and I get anxious. Thank God my husband was the only one that seen me full throttle .

[wildflowerchild25]

My mouth. When I'm manic I talk waaaay too muh and say inappropriate things. When I'm depressed I'm so irritable I'm vicious. Today I said something really nasty to a coworker that came out in a totally wrong way and I'm so embarrassed. Ugh I wish I had a better filter.

[Theseus]

The worst and most embarassing part is coming back to normal and realizing what a douche and asshole I was when I was "under".

My compulsions...

[BipolaRNurse]

Definitely mania. I say and do some incredibly stupid things that I later have to make amends for. Happens every single time, too, so I spend a lot of time apologizing!

[spydermonkey]

Originally Posted by Side2Side

Being told im too ill to be employed

being told im not too ill to be employed/suck less at life in general and that i just need to snap out of it because i've done it before.

i hate my depression, now youre pretty much asking me to defend/justify it?

its humiliating.

[nowIgetit]

my overreactions. to my coworkers, husband, friends. sometimes I will say stuff that's so mean and then later be so embarrassed. I'm slowly learning not to shoot my mouth off as soon as I feel angry, especially if I am unsure if the response is warranted, which is usually

[Curiosity77]

For me it's the inappropriate emails i send when hypomanic or mixed. That, and being on close supervision of my mental health to keep my nursing license. That part is beyond embarrassing, it's humiliating.

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Thinking I'm all that when manic and creating instant embarrassing moments that I can't tell anyone about. Yes, they are that bad.

[THE16THDOCTOR]

The Compulsive tics I do as a coping mechanism when anxious or in a mixed episode. Hand shaking. Eye fluttering. Ugh I feel like ppl notice and I look bananas.

Depression is the worst for me. Im so embarrassed that I cant communicate with people, the crying spells, the anxiety/depression attacks where I blurt my feelings out, the way my face and body language is. I try to be aware and fix it but I just end up looking awkward and people think I am strange. At the moment I cant even hold a conversation, I cant even think.

The lack of brain filter, what ever I think comes out of my mouth, but its not always a good thought, sometimes I dont agree with the thought after thinking about it but the first reaction thought is the one that comes out of my mouth.

Anxiety with shaking, twitching, rocking and trying to catch my breath which is really annoying and embarrassing because people think I am sighing when I am just trying to breathe so that I dont start hyperventilating. I get teased about that kind of thing so it makes me more self conscious to be around people.

[Cocosurviving]

Fore many it's many of the above but mine is worse because part if my bipolar is feeling no remorse. I do not apologize. I've been homicidical toward one of my sisters and my brother. I never apologized to either. I do not feel bad. I honesty say things when people make me mad and feel they deserve it. That's the part of what I do not like. I do not like that I am impulsive. I do things like getting tattoos, piercing and I shop like crazy. I do not have much straight depression at all. Now I do deal with mix very often and it is scary. I would love to do with out the combination of being extremely pissed and uncontrollably crying at the many damn time. It feels like my body is going to explode.

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[LadyShadow]

Originally Posted by nowIgetit

my overreactions. to my coworkers, husband, friends. sometimes I will say stuff that's so mean and then later be so embarrassed. I'm slowly learning not to shoot my mouth off as soon as I feel angry, especially if I am unsure if the response is warranted, which is usually

This is EXACTLY how I feel, I overreact to things and push people away and scare people. My illness scares people away

[9doorsdown]

I cringe whenever I think about the delusions and the friendships and potential romantic relationships I have lost because of the delusions.

Falling asleep on the sofa sitting straight up because of med side effects. Hub gets so frustrated at that grr. If I need to go back to the psych hospital I will be embarassed at what my future daughters in law's families might think of me. Great incentive to work closely with my doctors to stay well.

[Crazy Hitch]

Sending highly inappropriate emails to senior management. And yelling at the top of my voice at coworker all whilst manic.

Originally Posted by Supanova

...The lack of brain filter, what ever I think comes out of my mouth, but its not always a good thought, sometimes I dont agree with the thought after thinking about it but the first reaction thought is the one that comes out of my mouth...

Ooooooh yeah. I hate back-pedaling out of an unintended "argument" when I realize I don't know what I'm talking about and/or even agree with myself(!) Then there are the ones that are completely innocent thoughts that the words come out jumbled and sounding totally suggestive. I'd say "ill chosen" words, but that's the problem. They're not chosen. Boom! There they went!

But for MOST embarrassing, I'd have to go with losing control. Total meltdowns, especially in public. Had a couple of whoppers about a year and a half ago. Epic embarrassment. Even with the likelihood of being hauled in, couldn't stop. One, half aware a crowd had gathered, their fingers undoubtedly poised over 911. And talking about me. The other, even when the cops showed up. Within the span of a week and half. In two different states. God, that was rough. Turns out I'd gone into one helluva mixed state.

Pretty embarrassing too when I can't stop talking and muttering to myself either. Vicious self-talk. Inside my head, "Shut up! You sound totally demented!" What's outside my head is not fit for writing.

[sophianor]

Originally Posted by Lobster Hands...

For me it is definitely delusions.

i think it is the occasional outbursts.

[feferock]

Every single bit of it. I hate the whole thing and everything embarrasses me. I go through phases where I'm fine with it then and say I wouldn't be me without it. Then when I hate it and am like would that be such a bad thing? I am in this rather be anyone else as long as I can be a functioning member of society who can clean her house, cook, care for her kids, and work. I'm just over the whole thing

Fefe(28) -bipolar II
Hubby(28)
Son(8)-aspergers and possibly ADHD and odd
Daughter(5)

[A Red Panda]

The most embarassing?

When I'm hypomanic I will occassionally overshare..... will share thing that are a wee bit TMI.

Also will get embarassed of when I'm out and drinking while hypomanic. I take a lot more risks than normal.